Darko

What is that?

Sunday, 27. September 2009, 07:51:57

A short movie made by a Greek director I have never heard of. Constantin Pilavios. But it touched me very deep. It is about 5 minutes long but worth watching every minute

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mNK6h1dfy2o

I am living with old grandparents and was pushed to the edge by their behaviour so many times. But I really started to understand them few years ago. With age, their perspective changes and there`s nothing they can do about it. That`s just the way it is.

Uppssss.....Wildlife on my office window

Comments

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K C N Martínez # 27. September 2009, 08:43

Wow! I have tears in my eyes.

It makes you think about your actions.

Darko # 27. September 2009, 08:53

Yes, MizzM. And to try to remedy all the wrong actions we did....

dirk # 27. September 2009, 09:22

I live with my both 70 years old parents ... both of them have worked, like me with older people, in retirement homes or at the geriatric unit of hospitals, and that doesn't keep you (means: ME) from forgetting about the changing of perspectives ... older people look at the world in a different way ... and every day might be slightly different from the day before ... 'though a lot of people that I know can't or won't understand why I'm living with them, my parents and I know what is like to live in a retirement home ... so the choice is an easy one ... but it doesn't make it easier to cope with this ... it's just easier to understand ... and sometimes not only like a burden as most people here would look at it ... it helps me understanding them and myself better ... and it keeps me in touch with everything I'm thankful for ... for having had parents when I needed them and for being there when they need me.
that's the best post I've read for a long long long time ... thank you for sharing

K C N Martínez # 27. September 2009, 09:44

Yeah. One of the best posts read lately. Thanks for it.

Darko # 27. September 2009, 11:23

MizzM and Dirk, thank you. Well, I did nothing more than just post it, from a mail I received from one of my friends, Danijela. Anyway, I am glad you liked it too.

Recently, I`ve heard a story from one of my friends. 18 years ago, a man got married and soon a kid was born, a boy. One day, his parents prepred everything to have a big party at their home - they invited their friends, a lot of them, prepaed a lot of food, beer was cooling in the fridge and people started to come. Just at the moment when baby kid got nervous after some of the unknown reasons - he cried a lot, with a full voice and no one could calm him down. Party was completely ruined and people soon started to leave.
Years passed and boy became young man - one day he told his parents he would like to make a party at their home. So, he asked his parents to leave a house when his friends start to come, they would feel more relaxed if the parents are not around. His parents agreed and preparations started.
When first guests came, young man expected his parents would leave but they stayed, showing no intention to even consider the fact it has becoming a little bit embarrassing to their son. Mom statrted to talk with guests and father even invited his friend to play chass.
"Don`t be embarrased kids, enjoy your time, we will not bother you", his father said, pretending not to see a red face of his son. The rest of the kids were just sitting there, looking at each other and to a young man. Who was completely insane. After a while, when party was almost ruined, his father called his son and told the story that happened 18 years ago, in front of all of his guests.
Everyone laughed and at that point his father turned to him and said: "This is just for you to know how does it feel when you ruin someone`s party." Then they leaved and let them have fun.

Well, I didn`t know I would remember this but it is a nice extension to the post, right?

Dacotah # 27. September 2009, 11:35

Very true.
Hugs.

K C N Martínez # 27. September 2009, 12:10

Definitely a home continuation of the main post. :-) Revenge is awesome!

Darko # 27. September 2009, 13:59

Carol, I am amazed how simple life is, sometimes

MizzM,

dɹɐzılpǝkɔıw ɐʞɐ ɹǝɥgɐllɐg lǝbɐsı # 27. September 2009, 14:14

I have tears in my eyes. That was so beautiful. Thank you for sharing, I miss my grandparents so much.

Darko # 27. September 2009, 14:19

Isabel, it was my pleasure

dɹɐzılpǝkɔıw ɐʞɐ ɹǝɥgɐllɐg lǝbɐsı # 27. September 2009, 14:19

I posted it on Facebook, just so you know.

Darko # 27. September 2009, 14:20

L2D2 # 27. September 2009, 16:53

Dare, this was beautiful. I wish I had my parents still around to annoy me with little things like this. But I am feeling vulnerable right now and this has made me cry. I miss all my family who have left this world.

Angeliki # 27. September 2009, 17:09

a beautiful video indeed
I was introduced to it some time ago by Giannis (the Greek that visits my posts), no matter how many times I watch it ,it makes me emotional...
I hate growing old,
I was so different when in my 20s,
we all have no choice but growing up, but if just step back and have a moment to think how we were and how we will be, we will just want to hung our elders and comfort them...

thanks for sharing Darko... It is a great video ,indeed!

Darko # 27. September 2009, 17:31

Graham

Linda, sometimes we feel tough and ready to fight with everyday challenges; then, we see a situation like this one in a video and we start to cry, knowing how sad and happy we are because of those tears; I am sorry though I made you, girls, cry

Angeliki, do you know anything about the director of this video? is it his only work or there are more? it would be interesting to know

Angeliki # 27. September 2009, 17:39

he is very much loved by many:

he has a few short films on "VIMEO" like this one

tittle" small happiness" in Greek: Μικρές Χαρές
and Αέναη Κυπαρισσία (2007) ( documentary on Kiparisea)

I am not visiting my FaceBook often but since you have an account you might like to follow his work

http://www.facebook.com/pages/Constantin-Pilavios/52955399739?ref=share

Darko # 27. September 2009, 17:45

Thanks Angeliki

K C N Martínez # 27. September 2009, 17:47

Just today i have been much nicer to my mother than usually. And that thanks to you Darko!

Darko # 27. September 2009, 17:48

Thanks MizzM

Dacotah # 27. September 2009, 18:57

Darko, yes, life can be really simple if people just take the time.

PainterWoman # 27. September 2009, 18:59

A really touching video Darko. I immediately thought of my mom and how much I miss her. I never yelled at her.....ever.

Darko # 27. September 2009, 21:13

Carol

Pam, I am glad you never did

Stardancer # 27. September 2009, 22:31

Lovely, Darko. Thank you so much for sharing this.

Dacotah # 27. September 2009, 22:46

dɹɐzılpǝkɔıw ɐʞɐ ɹǝɥgɐllɐg lǝbɐsı # 27. September 2009, 23:32

I think this little film reminds us what it is to be human. All our little imperfections and perfecting ourselves to be better humans and what is important in each and every part of our lives that there is always something that reminds us what it was to be loved by someone.

San # 28. September 2009, 02:31

My father has memory problems. It is so difficult to not be frustrated and just accept what he says is true.

Darko # 28. September 2009, 04:36

Star, you are welcome

Isabel, and we all love to be loved

San, my grandma has the same problems; I think the most frustrated part is when she can`t remember my name or cannot recognize a member of our closest family....

San # 28. September 2009, 04:52

My dad has an unusual problem in that he remembers things that haven't happened. It's like deja vu. One example, he can't watch tv anymore because he believes he has seen every show already.

Darko # 28. September 2009, 05:01

Uffff, that is a bit harder. My grandma can`t remember us sometimes, usually it is just names, rarely faces. But she remembers everything from her youth, every single detail, from her childhood, captivity in Germany during WWII, her marriage and youth of my father and aunt. But then she forget who her hsuband is and calls him "neighbour"...

What is the name of your father`s illness?

San # 28. September 2009, 05:06

Persistent Deja Vu. It makes me (and my mom of course) very frustrated because we know he hasn't seen certain things. It frustrates him because he doesn't know anything is wrong and he wonders why we don't agree with him. Anyway, the film just made me think about my patience (and lack of) with him. It makes me so sad that we can't communicate the way we used to. That's what the film is about, mourning the loss of the way things were.

My dad also remembers details of his youth easily. He remembers us too...that's a relief. But there is something wrong with his working memory because events occuring right now go directly into his long term memory and he perceives them as having already occured.

Darko # 28. September 2009, 05:21

Originally posted by sanshan:

the film just made me think about my patience

It happened to me too - I think we react to the unusual fact that they are not behaving like they used to. For me it looked as if she is making jokes with me. I couldn`t understand how she don`t get some simple things. Then I realised it is beyond her possibility to understand them because her brain is giving up. It is probably the saddest thing that could happen to a human being

San # 28. September 2009, 05:25

Indeed it is.

L2D2 # 28. September 2009, 06:37

+3. My oldest brother and oldest sister both died of complictions from Alzheimer's Disease and my x's mother was ill with it when we married. I have personal experience with the deterioration of the mind and memory and it is such a horrifying thing. I pray to God that He will not let me have to live through that disease.

Ana # 28. September 2009, 07:16

Thanks a lot for sharing this video!

Darko # 28. September 2009, 08:04

Linda, I am crossing fingers for you and for all of my friends, both on line and in real life

Ana, you are welcome

Zulia # 28. September 2009, 10:40

it is a touching indeed...but in my country..I dont but in my country there is another version of this movie

http://www.vmgo.com/yt/video/VUtcYVnDxJw/Iklan-Raya-Petronas-2007.html
not a sparrow but a magpie

there is a saying here
2 parents can take care of 10 children but 10 children cant take care of 2 parents.
It really saddens me whenever I saw many people today dont really care about their parents, but how to blame them if the parents dont really care about the kids too eh?

Darko # 28. September 2009, 11:02

So, a story is universal

Originally posted by Zulia:

many people today dont really care about their parents, but how to blame them if the parents dont really care about the kids too eh?

We have a saying here "As you sow, you shall mow" - if parent's don't take care about kids the same behaviour will be expected. There are exceptions to the rule, though....

Mira # 28. September 2009, 11:35

Very emotional video, Darko. I think when there are 2 or 3 generations living in the same house there will be always some conflicts, misunderstanding,..so if there is a possibility it's better to live everyone on their own.

Darko # 28. September 2009, 12:35

Exactly. But as you know, it is not uncommon in Serbia to live with parents and grandparents - sometimes it is not easy to make a choice

On the other hand, family members who live separately, love each other more than when living under the same roof

Allan # 28. September 2009, 16:12

It is vital when having old parents present, to treat them properly. It's all over before you know - said by someone who lost his parents recently.

Moving film. I liked it.

Darko # 28. September 2009, 16:36

Allan, this is so true. One day, everything they have are only memories. One day, all we have, will be only memories.

Allan # 28. September 2009, 16:38

And one day all we are will be memories. On this planet at least.

Darko # 28. September 2009, 17:15

*nods*

Edward Piercy # 28. September 2009, 19:32

Couldn't play the video on the Blackberry -- "media unsupported". Normally I can get those types to play by trying it a few times. But not this time

In any case as to what has been written, I could only echo Allan -- we're all just the wink of a star's eye.

Endetarm # 28. September 2009, 20:15

Finally got around to watching it. Stupid network. Anyway, very moving indeed. I think perhaps children get irate at the parent acting this way because it causes them worry, I don't know. All I know is that when you age you can become very childlike - and the best way to handle this is to smile and make light of these things where possible. It has been the best thing for my Gran and I.

Darko # 29. September 2009, 04:36

Ed, I will try to find a link from some other web site so you can see it. It is about a generation gap, sort of.

Kimmie, this is always the best possible way. My grandma woke me up in 3 o`clock yesterday morning to ask me what is the day tomorrow morning and do I go to work. I just answered her and returned to bed. If that was my brother I would give him hell for waking me up

Mit # 29. September 2009, 14:28

it's simple and beautiful

r♡se # 29. September 2009, 19:07

It is moving. The first thing that hit me is how devastating it is to see your parents (or parental figures) almost deteriorate. They're no longer the strongest dad in the world...
Having said that, I seriously doubt my dad having the patience to answer my same question 21 times and unfortunately I think I might have inherited some of his impatience when it comes to him.

Darko # 29. September 2009, 21:37

Mit

Rose, I have more patience with my grandparents than with my father. We never understood each other and don`t think we ever will...

Zulia # 30. September 2009, 05:31

ah...fathers...same problem with me...but I am quite lucky now because he has move to another country a few years ago soooo he's out of my life and does not bother me anymore....

now its just me and my mum..and to watch her grow much much more older and to explain stuff to elder people really is a test of patience and its sometimes really like explaining to children. I remembered last year, my mum watched a space documentary and asked me why does the water on planet earth does not fall off the planet.....and I thought she already knew about it but she didnt. I had to explain about the gravity..bla bla bla science stuff and somehow she still didnt get it. I got completely blank and I had to simplify the words, draw the earth, trees and apples...magnetic cores...HAHAHA..the house was like a school for a while and after hours of explaining and when she goes "OOOOOOO I get it" I feel like doing a bungee jump.

then she asks about the stars......and why the space is black....