Liwaliw

Question: Share to us one of the strangest dreams you ever had.

Answer: One of the strangest dreams I had would be one of the earliest I could still recall. I had this dream when I was very young; I remember it probably because I dreamed it several times over. Before I turned 12 years, our family lived in Makati together with parents and siblings of our mother's. We lived in the furthermost apartment unit of three units, the family-owned compound was fronted with my Lola's dress shop and beauty salon.

Ours was a two-storey, two-bedroom apartment unit. I slept in the room that faced the stairs. In the dream, I remember myself peering into the living room from the top of the stairs. In the living room I saw myself and my elder sister each sitting at two single side sofas separated by a side table. Instead of the side table there was toilet-shaped lavatory; we took turns turning the faucet on and off, and the water was overflowing.

This dream was from a long time ago. I'm not sure if I've missed any other detail. But aside from this scene I also remember that I found myself in front of the beauty salon's entrance, which held a door with clear glass pane three-fourths its size. I was crouched on the doorstep, snooping, seeing straight, long-haired, fair-skinned hairdressers attend to dark-skinned, wildly afro-haired customers.

The last time I told this was back in Baguio with student-volunteers who helped mount a photo exhibit at the University of Baguio. One volunteer told me that she didn't feel good about the dream-story at all - that dreams that involve water are usually bad. I have a dictionary of dream symbols but I've yet to will myself to go over details of the dream, refer to the dictionary for meanings.

[Question selected at random from Ice Breaker 2: Hard Questions]

No strangers to devastations of typhoons, these Bicolanos still couldn't believe this much flood water brought by Typhoon Ondoy (International code name: Ketsana). I was fortunate enough to have hosted a sleepover for this group of friends all hailing from Lupi, Camarines Sur. The water that flooded into my apartment's ground floor could have been worse if they weren't around to help in shoveling the water back to the street. In their hometown, flooding only meant that the river overflowed, bringing with it, free supply of freshwater fish into their backyards. In Metro Manila, they realized, it meant stench and filth from the sewers.

Question: What childish things do you still do as an adult?

Answer: I'm not sure if it's childish, but something that I still do is "daydream." In idle moments - when the 'Net or television or any of my usual media of recreation don't appeal at the moment - I just dream up of a life that most definitely could never be possible (short of actually stumbling upon a genie's lamp... oops, another daydream). I even do this fantasizing to lull me to sleep sometimes. I don't know why it works, considering that I let my mind work up a bit. But it does at times fail to bring sleep when I get too fired up with the "daydream" scenario.

Funny thing about picking this question, there is actually this daydream I have that is one of the stem sentences you finish for your My Opera profile: "if I won a million dollars, I would..." A million dollars would be close to 50 million in local currency. As far as high school, I think I have fantasized about this, only difference then and now being a little bit more "systematic" or "intelligent" in budgeting the amount.

As now being an adult, the one additional factor in my daydream is the budgeting of some amount for charity as well as some amount to "sustain" towards life expectancy. (No, not even in my childhood did I dream up of "investing" for a scientific breakthrough like living forever.)

Sometimes I think this daydreaming could be faulted for times when I don't seem to feel satisfied with what I have at present. But sometimes I think it has done wonders for harnessing my taste in several things: coupled with the occasional window shopping, I now almost have a complete picture of how my dream house should look like (i.e., if ever I do get to put that together, or even just parts of the ideal).

[Question selected at random from Ice Breaker 2: Hard Questions]

Question: What was the worst advice you ever gave?

Answer: I've given advices to friends that turned out for the worse. I guess that's the problem about giving advices: they're generalizations of learning from one's own experiences, and experiences are personal. Especially when advice is sought with regard to love and relationships. I think even in the face of a very profitable publishing business on these concerns, surely the bottom-line will always be oneself.

Recently, a friend who now has Singapore for residence, visited and met us who remain in Manila. As the usual case in reunions, we ended up reliving many shared anecdotes. My friend, who was at the end of recapitulating his roller-coaster love life, attributed some hits and bruises to things I've said. I remember specifically him recalling what I've said about getting into heated arguments with lovers. I was made to remember that I once said that arguments are a normal part of communication between partners, and pursue issues we must and seek to resolve, but must not put the future of a relationship at stake. I think my statement was something like "argue with your issues because you want to resolve it, not because you're thinking of calling it quits."

Truth to tell, I actually read this from one of those love and relationship advice books (not exact words). I believed it, and saw its wisdom with my own relationship. Somehow my friend felt that much of emotional anguish he had to bear in the past only amplified the falsity of this advice. Surely, there's no easy way to realize the why and wherefore of the difference in outcomes.

So when it comes to giving advice, I have this personal resolve: don't advice, counsel. Listen, reflect back, probe with questions. That's it. Of course, this won't always be easy for me. I'm very opinionated.

[Question selected at random from Ice Breaker 2: Hard Questions]