My OperaFighting foreclosure Healthy Conflict For Lovers
Tuesday, June 1, 2010 7:00:23 AM
Conflict will occur in any love relationship. When you understand that, you don't need to think about giving up on the relationship. Your next relationship would just have more conflict in it. So learn to deal with conflict healthily now.
There are actually several things you can do to deal with conflict in a way that helps your relationship. Learn these and you can avoid killing off your relationship when conflict continues to arise.
To begin with, here's a simple practice: learn to breathe during an argument. Focusing on your breathing will help you to not go too crazy, which will help you to keep things calmer with your mate.
Next, understand that conflict causes crappy conduct. Adults act like ten year old's during a conflict. There's screaming, crying, swearing, slamming of doors. It's going to happen during some arguments.
A very healthy thing to learn is not to take it too personally. It isn't personal, it is just adults being frustrated and acting like kids. Again, this takes a long time to learn, but try not to take it personally. We act like angry kids but only for a few minutes, then we regain control. Don't let those few minutes of poor behavior overshadow all the good things you have between you.
Another powerful way to deal with conflict is to learn to de-escalate. Keep it from getting more heated as much as you can. Sometimes you need to say I need a few minutes to get myself under control, then walk away. Don't withdraw for hours or days, just a few minutes, as shutting your partner out has been shown to cause great damage to a relationship.
In line with this, learn to reconnect with your mate after an argument. Don't let silence or bitterness last for hours or days. Say sorry that happened, are you okay? Or I'm calmer now, can we talk about this?
Arguments will happen between any two healthy adults. If you can take some time, breathe, calm things down, and reconnect after wards, then later you can discuss the issues more rationally with your mate. There is a lot more to dealing with conflict in a healthy way, but these things are a good start. It may take months to master any of them, but you should have lots of opportunities to practice.
You can learn much more about these things in the free course 7 Vital Intimacy Insights You Never Learned In School at How To Have The Relationship You Want. Johnnie S Laney teaches relationship courses and you can get more here Love Relationship Advice Help.Fighting Foreclosure: Fighting Foreclosure
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