My OperaHamza or Berk
Wednesday, May 14, 2008 2:46:31 PM
What if you are given a last chance to make a date with someone you have not met before? Remember that you are sick to death of still waiting for your Prince Charming! Well, you are given a chance, but you are to choose one between the two guys: Hamza & Berk. Unfortunately, you have to decide on one and forget the other forever. Yes, you are given a chance; however, you have no information about them apart from their names. Take a minute and give your decision. Okay! You don’t have to announce your choice now. But, do you wonder whom others would choose? I wondered and asked some friends. Surprisingly, their answers were all the same: Berk. It is so obvious what they did on the way of deciding, isn’t it? They all stereotyped those poor guys! Well, was it risk or opportunity to stereotype them taking it that they were all eager to have a boyfriend? We will see later! But, now let’s see how they analyzed ––by only looking at the names–– the guys’ appearances, characters, backgrounds, opinions, and even their futures; in other words, how they stereotyped!
Our choosers’ first guess about the guys was their appearances. They thought Berk was a tall-handsome man with an athletic body while Hamza was of middle height and a little bit plump. They also added that Berk had a baby face, not forgetting an earring like those of Beckham on the right ear! However, Hamza didn’t have any jewelry, for he hated such things, apart from maybe a ring on the little finger, and most probably, he has a tendency to have a moustache after his thirties! Well, they achieved to associate all these qualities to the men by only their names while they may be just the opposite! Who knows?
David Schneider, the writer of The Psychology of Stereotyping, makes an excellent definition saying, “Stereotypes are the common colds of social interaction-ubiquitous, infectious, irritating, and hard to get rid of.” As being victims of this cruel illness they went stereotyping on and on, in other words creating ideas not well founded, which they think help them while forgetting that experiences may mislead us. Well, it is true that people make this generalization as a result of what they see, hear, or live ––consciously or unconsciously. So, where do stereotypes come from? John Bargh, in one of his researches, says, “If conscious choice and decision making are not needed, they go away. Ideas recede from consciousness into the unconscious over time.” He adds “I don’t think free will exists.” meaning what seems like free will may just be the application of unconscious assumptions.
Anyway, consciously or unconsciously, they told me about Hamza & Berk relying on their experiences! One of the subjects said Hamza was the middle son of an uncultured family while Berk was the only child coming from a well-off one! Additionally, Berk was a metrosexual: he was neat, clean, perfumed, even blonde, wearing modern clothes in accordance with his style. However, Hamza had nothing to do with fashion: he wore just black trousers and a white shirt, which showed him older and boring! When I asked ––full of wonder–– her, who was making this analysis, how she could deduct all these, her answer made me think that people may be right to have some expectations. Since we are living in a complex world with lots of details, we need some simplifications and generalizations to decrease the complication and to make life easier. So we rely on our experiences. Yes, it is necessary, but we have to clean off the prejudices or unfair judgments that will set a trap for us in the long run. Yes, her answer… She said she had known two Hamzas, both of whom were almost the same. They both looked alike, and their characters resembled. However, this Hamza could be different. Shouldn’t she have given him a chance?
Anyway, they went on thinking all high qualities befitted Berk. He was well-educated, thoughtful, tolerant, and sociable; he was a real gentleman! Nevertheless, Hamza was not a gentleman; he could even be rude if you stepped on his toes, for he was of a quick-tempered nature! Also, he was a little bit isolated, unlike Berk. They also said Berk might be studying in Business Management Department in order to take his father’s place in their factory whereas Hamza might be a student in Agriculture Department. In addition, Hamza liked Turkish folk music while Berk was cut out for dancing crazily in discos with techno music. What baseless opinions! Of course, there is a chance that they may be true, but it is even higher they are not. Perhaps Berk is a know-it-all behaving as if there is nothing he can not do, or he does not know. Or perhaps Hamza is compassionate his heart full of love…Who knows? Does he have to be like what other Hamzas have been till now? Or who can say all other Hamzas have been the same? Nonsense!
After all, they decided that Berk was the man of their dreams ––their Prince Charming–– while Hamza was the kind they would never want to come across. And what’s surprising is that they were all sure that their guesses about the two men were very true.
No matter how many times I told them that they are wrong with making such harsh generalizations without even meeting them once, they insisted on their opinions. So it is no longer my responsibility if they will regret it because ––in fact–– Berk is Hamza and Hamza is Berk! Are you confused? The reality is just the opposite of their guesses! Are you surprised? Or are you regretful, for you were going to go for Berk as well being another victim of this common illness ––stereotyping––? Well. Don’t! Don’t waste your chances!
So who is guilty? Hamza? Berk? I for making such a suggestion? Or you for having such baseless prejudices? I don’t know. But be careful: “A Hamza” may not always be “Hamza” while “a Berk” may not always be “Berk”!
gncthegreat:)
Our choosers’ first guess about the guys was their appearances. They thought Berk was a tall-handsome man with an athletic body while Hamza was of middle height and a little bit plump. They also added that Berk had a baby face, not forgetting an earring like those of Beckham on the right ear! However, Hamza didn’t have any jewelry, for he hated such things, apart from maybe a ring on the little finger, and most probably, he has a tendency to have a moustache after his thirties! Well, they achieved to associate all these qualities to the men by only their names while they may be just the opposite! Who knows?
David Schneider, the writer of The Psychology of Stereotyping, makes an excellent definition saying, “Stereotypes are the common colds of social interaction-ubiquitous, infectious, irritating, and hard to get rid of.” As being victims of this cruel illness they went stereotyping on and on, in other words creating ideas not well founded, which they think help them while forgetting that experiences may mislead us. Well, it is true that people make this generalization as a result of what they see, hear, or live ––consciously or unconsciously. So, where do stereotypes come from? John Bargh, in one of his researches, says, “If conscious choice and decision making are not needed, they go away. Ideas recede from consciousness into the unconscious over time.” He adds “I don’t think free will exists.” meaning what seems like free will may just be the application of unconscious assumptions.
Anyway, consciously or unconsciously, they told me about Hamza & Berk relying on their experiences! One of the subjects said Hamza was the middle son of an uncultured family while Berk was the only child coming from a well-off one! Additionally, Berk was a metrosexual: he was neat, clean, perfumed, even blonde, wearing modern clothes in accordance with his style. However, Hamza had nothing to do with fashion: he wore just black trousers and a white shirt, which showed him older and boring! When I asked ––full of wonder–– her, who was making this analysis, how she could deduct all these, her answer made me think that people may be right to have some expectations. Since we are living in a complex world with lots of details, we need some simplifications and generalizations to decrease the complication and to make life easier. So we rely on our experiences. Yes, it is necessary, but we have to clean off the prejudices or unfair judgments that will set a trap for us in the long run. Yes, her answer… She said she had known two Hamzas, both of whom were almost the same. They both looked alike, and their characters resembled. However, this Hamza could be different. Shouldn’t she have given him a chance?
Anyway, they went on thinking all high qualities befitted Berk. He was well-educated, thoughtful, tolerant, and sociable; he was a real gentleman! Nevertheless, Hamza was not a gentleman; he could even be rude if you stepped on his toes, for he was of a quick-tempered nature! Also, he was a little bit isolated, unlike Berk. They also said Berk might be studying in Business Management Department in order to take his father’s place in their factory whereas Hamza might be a student in Agriculture Department. In addition, Hamza liked Turkish folk music while Berk was cut out for dancing crazily in discos with techno music. What baseless opinions! Of course, there is a chance that they may be true, but it is even higher they are not. Perhaps Berk is a know-it-all behaving as if there is nothing he can not do, or he does not know. Or perhaps Hamza is compassionate his heart full of love…Who knows? Does he have to be like what other Hamzas have been till now? Or who can say all other Hamzas have been the same? Nonsense!
After all, they decided that Berk was the man of their dreams ––their Prince Charming–– while Hamza was the kind they would never want to come across. And what’s surprising is that they were all sure that their guesses about the two men were very true.
No matter how many times I told them that they are wrong with making such harsh generalizations without even meeting them once, they insisted on their opinions. So it is no longer my responsibility if they will regret it because ––in fact–– Berk is Hamza and Hamza is Berk! Are you confused? The reality is just the opposite of their guesses! Are you surprised? Or are you regretful, for you were going to go for Berk as well being another victim of this common illness ––stereotyping––? Well. Don’t! Don’t waste your chances!
So who is guilty? Hamza? Berk? I for making such a suggestion? Or you for having such baseless prejudices? I don’t know. But be careful: “A Hamza” may not always be “Hamza” while “a Berk” may not always be “Berk”!
gncthegreat:)
