So I have been really dizzy lately. It is not just when I stand up quickly like usual, but when I stand up slowly, sit down, move my head quickly, when I put my head back, or just randomly when I do nothing. I'm kind of scared to know why I am dizzy.
So I came across this video of a beautiful and quite emotional song...
Verse 1: This is my goodbye to an endless dream for an endless sleep. This is my goodbye to and endless dream for an endless sleep. Please don’t ask me why you won’t understand this wasn’t part of the plan. And I don’t know why I feel the way I do. Cause no one else will miss this wasted life but you. Chorus: I’m sorry, yes I’m sorry, I ‘m so sorry, oh I am sorry. But it’s over and there is nothing you can do. life is over, no one’s here for me but you and I’m sorry yes I’m sorry I’m so sorry. Verse 2: Please try not to cry the smile on your face has been my saving grace inside. A silhouette in time. Tell my mom goodbye, tell her I don’t know why. I don’t know why I feel the way I do. Have you thought about this, yes, and I am sure. Chorus: But I’m sorry, yes I’m sorry, I’m so sorry, oh I am sorry. But it’s over and there’s nothing you can do. Life is over, no one’s here for me but you. And I’m sorry, yes I’m sorry, I’m so sorry. I don’t know what you want from me. Just let this life go free. I know you wanted so much more for me. What’s new I failed you again. And I’m sorry, yes I’m sorry, I’m so sorry, oh I am sorry. But it’s over and there is nothing you can do. Life is over, no one’s here for me but you. But I’m sorry, yes I’m sorry, I’m so sorry. Please try not to cry the smile on your face has been my saving grace inside
What the crap is wrong with me?? I'm going crazy, I'm going crazy, I'm going crazy!!! I can't just sit here. I have to do something. I need some major form of release right now. I can't even explain this mess. What the crap.
When I am weak I’m supposed to be strong Somehow I can’t see it So someone is wrong The moment is fading The light will surely die When what’s left is broken All I can do is lie Or maybe it’s “want to” But what’s the difference? When I have to survive It’s all that makes sense So no one really knows Though some may care Is it worth the risk? Now, do I dare?
So, I'm looking all around me, and there are all these people that seem to have motivation and hope (even if a little) in what they are doing. Just small things like going to the store, school, or driving to work...they live like there is at least something to look forward to after the mundane stuff. I on the other hand am just like "What's the freaking point?"...I can't see a reason to do anything anymore, even go to the store.
I am unbelievably sick of this major. This is not where I am supposed to be. I've wasted so much money, and will waste too much more if I try a different one. I'm stuck. This is a terrible feeling. I hate it. I don't think I'm supposed to be alive. Can't I just get a little break???
What is this life? If no one can live What are you doing? What can you give? This means nothing A push and a shove You can’t get over it There’s no more love And now you want it all But what can you get? No more caring Not even a bit
What are we living for? What are we living for?
The world is going one way But if you turn around It will eat you up And spit you on the ground Forget being yourself Forget living life You do what they say You buy into the hype Now you’ve become What you wanted to avoid And now you’re only soul Has been destroyed
What are we living for? What are we living for?
You want to give up You want it to end You wish to live What you intend But now you’re lying On the ground Hoping that someone Will come around As you take your last breath You look back at it all If you had done it different You’d burst right through those walls
