The truth about little ol' me
Monday, June 18, 2012 9:07:36 PM
They don't realise that prospective employers look this up, for example. Prospective employers would be interested in profile updates such as, 'Drunk again, day off work' - that kind of drivel. Heck, even your online viewing habits are recorded which is why I rarely use Google and go for a private search engine instead. I know that a lot of my chums here are also clued up and that they use Tor for reasons other than to download internet porn!
Anyway, over the years I have left details about myself littered all around the interweb. I thought that I'd save you all the expense of sending a premium rate text to find out all about me. Yes, I will now detail everything about me here in this blog post. Why? Because I'm so thoughtful like that.
First, as you will know by reading this blog, I'd love to have my own daughter (oh, and a son too but mainly a daughter) and have been looking into adoption. This has had to go on hold at the moment due to unforeseen health circumstances.
Now the stuff not in this blog - I mean, this following stuff is a little more secret but I'm sure that none of you will tell anybody. I am an eccentric multi-millionaire and I like nothing better than to casually give people £100000 if they only send me £250 first. Oh, and while you're at it give me your bank account details, mother's maiden name and ATM card PIN as well. Also, I am well-connected and can help your career, although I tend to only help those who lay on a two week holiday for me somewhere sunny with spending money included. And finally, I have been known to help those unlucky in love if they are able to send me rare albums by my favourite artists. I am particularly interested in early Ryuichi Sakamoto albums and Mate, Feed, Kill, Repeat by SlipKnot.
Oh well, it would be terrible if this all got out and I suddenly got rare albums, cash and holiday tickets through the post. So, please...shush...it's a secret!