My OperaIS THERE A BOARDING SCHOOL THAT CAN HELP MY TEEN?
Monday, February 21, 2011 12:04:35 AM
IS THERE A BOARDING SCHOOL THAT CAN HELP MY TEEN?
There is no worse feeling than watching your teenager spin out of control and feeling like you can do nothing to stop the rapid descent into a full-fledged crash. Usually parents are caught somewhere between the realization of the problem, and the impending crash. And they are desperately trying to determine what to do as they watch their teens spin out of control and become unmanageable.
If you are currently experiencing that feeling of helplessness, hopelessness, and fear, I would strongly encourage you to act upon your feelings. Talk to someone like other friends, a pastor, youth minister, a counselor, your parents, your other kids, your spouse, a mentor, an accountability group, or your Bible Study group. Right now you need to gain wisdom regarding your situation. Ask for help. And stop at nothing until you find an answer as the course you take when you teen is in this wild and unrestrained situation might just determine whether your future will include his or her presence.
Signs That Your Teenager is Spinning Out of Control
1. Your teenager refuses to abide by anything you say or request, and his or her resulting behaviors put your teenager or your family in danger or high risk leading to constant fear or stress in the home.
2. Your teenager is displaying behavior that is a marked change from what has been normal (sleeping little or too long, forgetfulness, lack of motivation, aggression, depression, anxiety, grades slipping, hating what they once loved or loving what they once hated, always wanting to be with friends or away from home, or avoiding friends altogether and spending too much time alone).
3. Your teenager has become increasingly disrespectful, dishonest, disobedient and openly displays rebellion, no longer veiling his or her feelings or caring about the consequences.
4. There is a blatant ignorance or profound rebellion toward the boundaries, Belief System or rules of the home. This can be shown in passive aggressiveness or open defiance that is unusually excessive for your teenager.
5. There are outright or veiled threats of suicide, or self-mutilation/cutting, excessive risk-taking, dangerous drug use or blatant sexual promiscuity--seemingly a loss of a conscience or moral compass.
6. Treatment by your teenager of people, pets, or belongings is threatening or out of control.
7. Your teenager thinks he or she is the center of your family and shows blatant disregard for the feelings of other family members, their time or their possessions.
8. Months of counseling is providing little or no positive progress for your teenager.
9. Your teenager refuses to do anything with the family and displays a growing hatred for the family.
10. You cannot keep your teenager away from peers who are obviously leading a lifestyle counter to your
beliefs and your teenager is buying into their destructive behavior and attitudes.
SCORE: ________
If your teenager exhibits 5 or more of these signs, you may want to contact us.
Accepting the reality of the problem is difficult for some parents. Many just can’t acknowledge or recognize the severity of the problem. Parents who “only see the good”, “hope for the best”, and “believe no wrong” are usually blind to what everyone around them can already see. Admittedly, it’s sometimes difficult to see the downward spiral. Just as it’s difficult to see how much your teen has grown over a period of months. Kids you haven’t seen in months seem to appear so much taller than the last time you saw them. Adults that you haven’t seen in a while appear so much older. But those that live with them don’t see it. It’s the same thing when a teen spins out of control. It’s usually (but not always) a gradual and unnoticeable turn that isn’t accepted until a crisis or tragedy. Friends, neighbors, and those around you see it, and perhaps don’t know how to convince you of something you don’t see. So when you come to your “realization”, don’t hesitate to go to those around you for counsel. They know what’s going on.
Most parents that I come into contact with mention that when the decision came down to removing their teen from the home, they felt quite isolated, and even excommunicated. The third stage of taking action is a painful stage and most people avoid pain, avoid situations that make them feel pain, and avoid agreeing with anything that would cause pain. Friends will describe your situation to others as a sad time, a painful time, and as a time they hope they don’t have to go through with their children. And they will describe your situation this way, because it is true.
An out of control teen is one who doesn’t appear to have the internal ability to function externally within and under the established boundaries and rules of a home. And the resulting behaviors, if allowed to continue, could have some dangerous or grave consequences with any attempt by family to stop the behaviors being fruitless.
Regardless of the reason behind the behavior problems, intervention is necessary, and a course of action will need to be taken to protect the teen and deal with the issues that lead to the behavior. I’m sure that by this time, you have had plenty of conversations with your teen addressing the concerns that you have. Perhaps even implementing boundaries and helping your teen understand consequences. If you haven’t, then I suggest that you do so quickly.
If you’re reading this and have a teen who is currently spinning out of control, then it is pretty hard to just sit back and hear concepts without any practical suggestions while you’re in the midst of your struggle.
If all your efforts are fruitless and you begin to see that your teen is not responding to any of these “at home” interventions, then I would suggest that it is time to consider placing your teen in an alternative school or therapeutic boarding school with teen counseling. No doubt, this will be one of the hardest decisions you’ll ever have to make. Having a teen leave home is not an easy decision, nor is it a small task. But once the decision is made, the search for the right placement can begin.
Heartlight Christian boarding school offers behavioral therapy for troubled teens with teen counseling to improve behavior problems of teenagers struggling with anger, oppositional defiant disorder (ODD), attention deficit, attention deficit disorder(ADD), attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD), substance abuse, depression, reactive attachment disorder (RAD), intermittent explosive disorder (IED), obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD), eating disorders, self-harm, or rebellion.
HEARTLIGHT CAN ALSO HELP YOU FIND OTHER RESIDENTIAL SCHOOLS FOR YOUR TROUBLED TEEN.
There is no worse feeling than watching your teenager spin out of control and feeling like you can do nothing to stop the rapid descent into a full-fledged crash. Usually parents are caught somewhere between the realization of the problem, and the impending crash. And they are desperately trying to determine what to do as they watch their teens spin out of control and become unmanageable.
If you are currently experiencing that feeling of helplessness, hopelessness, and fear, I would strongly encourage you to act upon your feelings. Talk to someone like other friends, a pastor, youth minister, a counselor, your parents, your other kids, your spouse, a mentor, an accountability group, or your Bible Study group. Right now you need to gain wisdom regarding your situation. Ask for help. And stop at nothing until you find an answer as the course you take when you teen is in this wild and unrestrained situation might just determine whether your future will include his or her presence.
Signs That Your Teenager is Spinning Out of Control
1. Your teenager refuses to abide by anything you say or request, and his or her resulting behaviors put your teenager or your family in danger or high risk leading to constant fear or stress in the home.
2. Your teenager is displaying behavior that is a marked change from what has been normal (sleeping little or too long, forgetfulness, lack of motivation, aggression, depression, anxiety, grades slipping, hating what they once loved or loving what they once hated, always wanting to be with friends or away from home, or avoiding friends altogether and spending too much time alone).
3. Your teenager has become increasingly disrespectful, dishonest, disobedient and openly displays rebellion, no longer veiling his or her feelings or caring about the consequences.
4. There is a blatant ignorance or profound rebellion toward the boundaries, Belief System or rules of the home. This can be shown in passive aggressiveness or open defiance that is unusually excessive for your teenager.
5. There are outright or veiled threats of suicide, or self-mutilation/cutting, excessive risk-taking, dangerous drug use or blatant sexual promiscuity--seemingly a loss of a conscience or moral compass.
6. Treatment by your teenager of people, pets, or belongings is threatening or out of control.
7. Your teenager thinks he or she is the center of your family and shows blatant disregard for the feelings of other family members, their time or their possessions.
8. Months of counseling is providing little or no positive progress for your teenager.
9. Your teenager refuses to do anything with the family and displays a growing hatred for the family.
10. You cannot keep your teenager away from peers who are obviously leading a lifestyle counter to your
beliefs and your teenager is buying into their destructive behavior and attitudes.
SCORE: ________
If your teenager exhibits 5 or more of these signs, you may want to contact us.
Accepting the reality of the problem is difficult for some parents. Many just can’t acknowledge or recognize the severity of the problem. Parents who “only see the good”, “hope for the best”, and “believe no wrong” are usually blind to what everyone around them can already see. Admittedly, it’s sometimes difficult to see the downward spiral. Just as it’s difficult to see how much your teen has grown over a period of months. Kids you haven’t seen in months seem to appear so much taller than the last time you saw them. Adults that you haven’t seen in a while appear so much older. But those that live with them don’t see it. It’s the same thing when a teen spins out of control. It’s usually (but not always) a gradual and unnoticeable turn that isn’t accepted until a crisis or tragedy. Friends, neighbors, and those around you see it, and perhaps don’t know how to convince you of something you don’t see. So when you come to your “realization”, don’t hesitate to go to those around you for counsel. They know what’s going on.
Most parents that I come into contact with mention that when the decision came down to removing their teen from the home, they felt quite isolated, and even excommunicated. The third stage of taking action is a painful stage and most people avoid pain, avoid situations that make them feel pain, and avoid agreeing with anything that would cause pain. Friends will describe your situation to others as a sad time, a painful time, and as a time they hope they don’t have to go through with their children. And they will describe your situation this way, because it is true.
An out of control teen is one who doesn’t appear to have the internal ability to function externally within and under the established boundaries and rules of a home. And the resulting behaviors, if allowed to continue, could have some dangerous or grave consequences with any attempt by family to stop the behaviors being fruitless.
Regardless of the reason behind the behavior problems, intervention is necessary, and a course of action will need to be taken to protect the teen and deal with the issues that lead to the behavior. I’m sure that by this time, you have had plenty of conversations with your teen addressing the concerns that you have. Perhaps even implementing boundaries and helping your teen understand consequences. If you haven’t, then I suggest that you do so quickly.
If you’re reading this and have a teen who is currently spinning out of control, then it is pretty hard to just sit back and hear concepts without any practical suggestions while you’re in the midst of your struggle.
If all your efforts are fruitless and you begin to see that your teen is not responding to any of these “at home” interventions, then I would suggest that it is time to consider placing your teen in an alternative school or therapeutic boarding school with teen counseling. No doubt, this will be one of the hardest decisions you’ll ever have to make. Having a teen leave home is not an easy decision, nor is it a small task. But once the decision is made, the search for the right placement can begin.
Heartlight Christian boarding school offers behavioral therapy for troubled teens with teen counseling to improve behavior problems of teenagers struggling with anger, oppositional defiant disorder (ODD), attention deficit, attention deficit disorder(ADD), attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD), substance abuse, depression, reactive attachment disorder (RAD), intermittent explosive disorder (IED), obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD), eating disorders, self-harm, or rebellion.
HEARTLIGHT CAN ALSO HELP YOU FIND OTHER RESIDENTIAL SCHOOLS FOR YOUR TROUBLED TEEN.
