Early morning, I get up and prepare the breakfast. Then the rain comes. It looks like today will be sloppy and gloomy. Oapps... gotta leave at 10am for work. It's not pleasant at all to go out in this weather, especially for work.

Check email! The inbox comes up with few unread messages. See, take a glance and there the email I have been waiting in recent weeks. Oh no, rejection again. The message tells me that my research project has failed to approach to top institutions once more time. I know that this bad news will not be able to upset me for long, as I never see doing research the objective of my live, neither my joy or my passion. But it does bring me to a broader thought …

10 am… leave. On the way to work, I can hardly get myself out of the mere thought of an unstable future. Even though I can not find a clear link between this failure and my future, but anyway… when you fail to do sth, you usually worry about the future. That sounds logical to most of us.

This year is my 29 age. And after almost one third of my lifetime, I find myself asking: “Do I know the target I am heading to?”. Not sure, but maybe s-u-c-c-e-s-s. What kind of success? Uhm… success means having reputation, a good job, a lot of money, people admire you, or even being jealous of you, and much more. In a nutshell, success means people thinking that you are successful, and that makes you happy J. Quite a lengthy explanation, but in the end I wonder if I achieve all those things, or even one of them. Sadly, the answer is a big NO.

Yes, the fact that I am not having the success I want, or even will never have it, makes me less happy than I used to feel before. Sometimes I think, maybe at the end of my life, it turns out that I will be just a nobody old man. I am not pessimistic, but once or twice you have to keep your feet on the ground and be realistic.

It’s not the message today that makes me concern about my future, because I have been thinking about this quite a lot recently. OK, it seems to me that I am gradually changing my view about my life. And that means everything needs to be re-viewed and re-planned. When you make a plan, the first question always is: “what is the target?”

~~~~~

Night, it’s a bit cold. It’s a typical weather of Brisbane in this time of the year. Cool, wet, little rain in the day, and colder in the night. Get back home from work, and warm up my hands beside the heater.

It’s only 5 weeks from now until the day I travel back to Danang for a short visit, more precisely to attend my sister’s wedding. Wondering how she and her spouse are doing to prepare for the wedding. And also my dad and mum. Can’t wait to see them. Leaving aside all the worries, I just want to think about the day I come back. I was born with the love for my town and for them.

The dinner is nearly ready in a quarter of an hour. Phh … and I will take advantage of that 15 minutes to do some weightlifting. I have familiarized with this habit and loved to do it everyday. It makes me feel healthier recently… just feeling good.

Now, I know the target: “It’s simply the feeling of being comfortable with everything around you, even when you are a nobody, with no money!” J