Skip navigation.

30 SECRETS u would have never Known without Hollywood movies

1. It`s easy for anyone to land a plane, providing there is someone in the control tower to talk you down.


2. Once applied, lipstick will never rub off - even while scuba diving.


3. During all police investigations, it will be necessary to visit a strip club at least once.


4. All beds have special L-shaped cover sheets which reach up to the armpit level on a woman but only to waist level on the man lying beside her.


5. The ventilation system of any building is the perfect hiding place. No one will ever think of looking for you in there and you can travel to any other part of the building you want without difficulty.


6. If your town is threatened by an imminent natural disaster or killer beast, the mayor`s first concern will be the tourist trade or his forthcoming art exhibition.


7. When paying for a taxi, don`t look at your wallet as you take out a bill - just grab one at random and hand it over. It will always be the exact fare.


8. Kitchens don`t have light switches. When entering a kitchen at night, you should open the fridge door and use that light instead.


9. Television news bulletins usually contain a story that affects you personally at that precise moment.


10. A single match will be sufficient to light up a room the size of Wembley Stadium.


11. Medieval peasants had perfect teeth.


12. It is always possible to park directly outside the building you are visiting, even in New York or London.


13. A detective can only solve a case once he / she has been suspended from duty.


14. It does not matter if you are heavily outnumbered in a fight involving martial arts - your enemies will wait patiently to attack you one by one by dancing around in a threatening manner until you have knocked out their predecessors.


15. Police Departments give their officers personality tests to make sure they are deliberately assigned a partner who is their total opposite.


16. An electric fence powerful enough to kill a dinosaur will cause no lasting damage to an eight-year-old child.


17. If staying in a haunted house, women should investigate any strange noises in their most revealing underwear.


18. It is not necessary to say hello or goodbye when beginning or ending phone conversations.


19. Should you wish to pass yourself off as a German officer, it will not be necessary to speak the language. A German accent will do.


20. Even when driving down a perfectly straight road it is necessary to turn the steering wheel vigorously from left to right every few moments.


21. The Eiffel Tower can be seen from any window in Paris.


22. You`re very likely to survive any battle in any war - unless you make the mistake of showing someone a picture of your sweetheart back home.


23. A man will show no pain while taking the most ferocious beating but will wince when a woman tries to clean his wounds.


24. If being chased through town, you can usually take cover in a passing St. Patrick`s Day parade -- at any time of the year.


25. Your arch enemy will always tell you exactly how he plans to kill you when captured and leave you with some sort of escape route


26. SWAT Teams and trained snipers will never hit their targets first time.


27. Anyone with no computer education or training is capable of *****ing complex encryption algorithms, ...... inside 60 seconds.


28. Another user on a network is capable of wiping out the contents of your DOS edit buffer, while you have the document in front of you on a monitor and the monitor will instantly respond to this.


29. Top Secret confidential information can be downloaded from the Internet because Top Secret agencies have no firewalls to stop hackers.


30. Whenever a computer malfunctions, smoke will pour and sparks will always fly from the keyboard, monitor and any LED in the same room.

daddy,how was i born?

A little boy goes to his father and asks "Daddy, how was I born?"

The father answers, "Well, son, I guess one day you will need to find out anyway! Your Mom and I first got together in a chat room on Yahoo. Then I set up a date via e-mail with your Mom and we met at a cyber-cafe. We sneaked into a secluded room, where your mother agreed to a download from my hard drive. As soon as I was ready to upload, we discovered that neither one of us had used a firewall, and since it was too late to hit the delete button, nine months later a little Pop-Up appeared that said:


Scroll down...You'll love this...





"You got Male!"

Silly Wishes of Lovers

1. I wish I was one of your tears, so I could be born in your eye, run down your cheek, and die on your lips. Reply : I don't mind where you die.. as long as you do!


2. Did you know they changed the alphabet? They put U and I together.
Reply : So, how many times did you fail kinder garten?


3. Are your legs tired? Because you been running through my mind ALL day long.
Reply : Yes, they are. I've been running away from you!


4. Are you lost? Because it's so strange to see an angel so far from heaven.
Reply : How many times have you been to heaven, anyway?


5. Do you believe in love at first sight, or do I have to walk by you again?
Reply : Yeah.. why don't you walk by and just keep walking!


6. What's that in your eye? Oh...it's a sparkle.
Reply : What are you on? ***** or cocaine?


7. Do you have a map? I just got lost in your eyes.
Reply : (too corny.. maybe a disgusted look would be enough)


8. You can forget about going to heaven because it's sin to look that good.
Reply : You can be sure of going to hell.. your stupidity will assure you of a place!


9. if I had eleven roses and you, I'd have a dozen.
Reply : So, that's your problem.. simple algebra!

12 signs you LOVE someone,

12 signs you LOVE someone,


TWELVE:
When you're on the phone with them late at night and they hang up, you still miss them even when it was just two minutes ago.




ELEVEN:
You walk really slow when you're with them.




TEN:
You feel shy whenever they're around.




NINE:
You smile when you hear their voice.


EIGHT:
When you look at them, you can't see the other people around you, you just see him/her.



SIX:
They're all you think about.




FIVE:
You realize you're always smiling when you're looking at them.




FOUR:
You would do anything for them, just to see them.




THREE:
While reading this, there was one person on your mind this whole time.




TWO:
You were so busy thinking about that person, you didn't notice number seven was missing




ONE:
You just scrolled up to check & are now silently laughing at yourselfDon't take a man shopping....

a boring day!!

Today is SUCH a boring day!!! i woke up at 11:10 am and started browsing web!!
in the middle of it i came upon this site and became a member and made some friends :wink:!!
after sometime, our transmitter blasted and the voltage of the electricity bacame sooooooooooooooooooo low :frown:!!

Never take a man shopping.......Must read for females

Don't take a man shopping....

Proof of what can happen if a wife or girlfriend drags her husband or boyfriend along shopping. This letter was sent by a leading super market's Head Office to a customer in Oxford.

Dear Mrs. Murray,

While we thank you for your valued custom and use of the T3$co Loyalty Card, the Manager of our store in Banbury is considering banning you and your family from shopping with us, unless your husband stops his antics.

Below is a list of offences over the past few months all verified by our surveillance cameras:-

1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's trolleys when they weren't looking.

2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in House wares to go off at 5-minute intervals.

3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to feminine products aisle.

4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official tone, "Code 3" in house wares..... and watched what happened.

5. August 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

6. September 15: Set up a tent in the outdoor clothing department and told shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring sausages and a Calor gas stove.

7. September 23: When the Deputy Manager asked if she could help him, he began to cry and asked, "Why can't you people just leave me alone?"

8. October 4: Looked right into the security camera; used it as a mirror, picked his nose, and ate it.

9. November 10: While appearing to be choosing kitchen knives in the House wares aisle asked an assistant if he knew where the antidepressants were.

10. December 3: Darted around the store suspiciously, loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.

11. December 6: In the kitchenware aisle, practiced the "Madonna look" using different size funnels.

12. December 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed, yelled "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"

13. December 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, assumed the foetal position and screamed "NO! NO! It's those voices again."


And; last, but not least:-

14. December 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited a while; then yelled, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here".
Download Opera, the fastest and most secure browser
January 2010
S M T W T F S
December 2009February 2010
1 2
3 4 5 6 7 8 9
10 11 12 13 14 15 16
17 18 19 20 21 22 23
24 25 26 27 28 29 30