G/I... GANG OF INSTRUMENTALS
Tuesday, 24. April 2007, 07:45:33
Simply one of my favourite SA tunes at the moment!!!
"My Number One" by Gang of Instrumentals
"My Number One" by Gang of Instrumentals
Posts tagged with "South Africa"
Some SA Tunes to Wake You Up!!!
Wednesday, 25. October 2006, 06:26:29
1st Vid... Mandoza & Danny K - Music,
2nd Vid... DJ Cleo - Goodbye,
3rd Vid... Jae - I like It,
4th Vid... Malaika - Destiny
I guess it's all about the beat
2nd Vid... DJ Cleo - Goodbye,
3rd Vid... Jae - I like It,
4th Vid... Malaika - Destiny
I guess it's all about the beat
South African Legends
Wednesday, 6. September 2006, 11:59:18
I've always been intrigued by legends, myths and tales that have been passed on from generation to generation.
Every country, land and all kinds of people have their own stories to tell.
Sometimes these stories transcend geographical, ethnical and cultural barriers.
Some of these stories have travelled across the globe by explorers who share them by means of word or writing.
These stories are sometimes taken from real events or simply just plain myths.
Still...
We should take pride in these stories and share them with others, so that, they are never forgotten and always remain a part of who we are, what we know and where we come from.
I'd like to share two of my favorite South African Legends.
The first one, Van Hunks and the Devil, I've always found amusing; and the second, The Witch of The Hex River Valley, has always intrigued me.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
~ Van Hunks and the Devil ~
As the story goes Jan van Hunks, a Dutch pirate in the early 18th century, retired from his eventful life at sea to live on the slopes of Devil's Peak, South Africa.
To escape from his wife's sharp tongue he often walked up the mountain where he
settled down to smoke his pipe.
One day a mysterious stranger approached him and asked the retired pirate to borrow some tobacco.
After a bit of bragging, a smoking contest ensued, with the winner's prize a ship full of gold. After several days, Van Hunks finally defeated the stranger, who unfortunately turned out to be the devil.
Suddenly, thunder rolled, the clouds closed in and Van Hunks disappeared, leaving behind only a scorched patch of ground.
Legend has it that the cloud of tobacco smoke they left became the "table-cloth" - the famous white cloud that spills over Table Mountain when the south-easter blows in summer. When that happens, it is said that Van Hunks and the Devil are at it again.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
~The Witch of The Hex River Valley ~
The Hex Valley is surrounded by high mountains. The highest peak is Matroosberg, where, on the lower crags a lovely young woman makes her appearance on certain moonlit nights, crying and wringing her hands. But she has been dead for many long years.
She was Eliza Meiring, daughter of a farmer whose homestead was not far from the foothills where Matroosberg rises from the vineyards. She lived in the middle years of the 19th century.
She had many suitors because she was very beautiful. But she was also a bit spoilt and self-centred.
She fell in love with a young man (some say his name was Frans but no more is known about him). To satisfy her pride she demanded that, to marry her, Frans must first go and pick her a red disa in the kloofs of the Matroosberg.
The disa is a beautiful flower, but unfortunately it grows only in the most inaccessible places: against steep, mossy cliffs in shady ravines and gorges.
So to pick a disa is an almost impossible task without mountaineering equipment, which did not exist in those days.
Frans promised to bring her a red disa, for he loved Eliza with all his heart too.
He went into the Groothoek kloof alone, saw the disas where they glowed in their beauty against a wet and mossy cliff, and tried to reach it. But as he reached for a precious flower he slipped and fell to his death.
When they brought Eliza the news that her lover had fallen to his death with a disa in his hand, she was beside herself with grief and remorse. In fact, she was so overcome because she had caused the death of her only love with her demand that she became mentally ill, and her parents kept her locked in her bedroom to watch over her. She scratched her name on the wooden windowsill: "Eliza. 1868".
But one moonlit night she broke out and escaped. Wearing only her long white nightgown, she went into the foothills and then up the trail Frans had taken.
There, somewhere on a rocky outcrop, she sat down and sobbed. But the outcrop crumbled beneath her and she, too, fell to her death.
Now Eliza still wanders the crags of the Matroosberg when the moon is full: a pale ghost in her long white dress. She is known in Afrikaans as the "Heks van Hexrivier" (witch of the Hex River). A few decades ago the old farmstead was demolished. Eliza's name and the date were still on one of the windowsills.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The importance of these legends are that we should always try and find the meaning or teaching behind them.
For example, The tale of "Van Hunks and The Devil" reminds us never to brag or we might just find ourselves the victims of our own boastful attitude.
And the legend of "The Witch of the Hex River Valley" warns us that we should never think so much of ourselves that we let worthwile things pass us by. By demanding too much, we might just be the true losers in the end. Our own worth should be counted by how we treat others.
By following this link, you can read some more South African Myths and Legends.
If you have any that you would like to share...
Feel free to leave a comment or a link. I'd love reading it
Every country, land and all kinds of people have their own stories to tell.
Sometimes these stories transcend geographical, ethnical and cultural barriers.
Some of these stories have travelled across the globe by explorers who share them by means of word or writing.
These stories are sometimes taken from real events or simply just plain myths.
Still...
We should take pride in these stories and share them with others, so that, they are never forgotten and always remain a part of who we are, what we know and where we come from.
I'd like to share two of my favorite South African Legends.
The first one, Van Hunks and the Devil, I've always found amusing; and the second, The Witch of The Hex River Valley, has always intrigued me.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
~ Van Hunks and the Devil ~
As the story goes Jan van Hunks, a Dutch pirate in the early 18th century, retired from his eventful life at sea to live on the slopes of Devil's Peak, South Africa.
To escape from his wife's sharp tongue he often walked up the mountain where he
settled down to smoke his pipe.
One day a mysterious stranger approached him and asked the retired pirate to borrow some tobacco.
After a bit of bragging, a smoking contest ensued, with the winner's prize a ship full of gold. After several days, Van Hunks finally defeated the stranger, who unfortunately turned out to be the devil.
Suddenly, thunder rolled, the clouds closed in and Van Hunks disappeared, leaving behind only a scorched patch of ground.
Legend has it that the cloud of tobacco smoke they left became the "table-cloth" - the famous white cloud that spills over Table Mountain when the south-easter blows in summer. When that happens, it is said that Van Hunks and the Devil are at it again.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
~The Witch of The Hex River Valley ~
The Hex Valley is surrounded by high mountains. The highest peak is Matroosberg, where, on the lower crags a lovely young woman makes her appearance on certain moonlit nights, crying and wringing her hands. But she has been dead for many long years.
She was Eliza Meiring, daughter of a farmer whose homestead was not far from the foothills where Matroosberg rises from the vineyards. She lived in the middle years of the 19th century.
She had many suitors because she was very beautiful. But she was also a bit spoilt and self-centred.
She fell in love with a young man (some say his name was Frans but no more is known about him). To satisfy her pride she demanded that, to marry her, Frans must first go and pick her a red disa in the kloofs of the Matroosberg.
The disa is a beautiful flower, but unfortunately it grows only in the most inaccessible places: against steep, mossy cliffs in shady ravines and gorges.
So to pick a disa is an almost impossible task without mountaineering equipment, which did not exist in those days.
Frans promised to bring her a red disa, for he loved Eliza with all his heart too.
He went into the Groothoek kloof alone, saw the disas where they glowed in their beauty against a wet and mossy cliff, and tried to reach it. But as he reached for a precious flower he slipped and fell to his death.
When they brought Eliza the news that her lover had fallen to his death with a disa in his hand, she was beside herself with grief and remorse. In fact, she was so overcome because she had caused the death of her only love with her demand that she became mentally ill, and her parents kept her locked in her bedroom to watch over her. She scratched her name on the wooden windowsill: "Eliza. 1868".
But one moonlit night she broke out and escaped. Wearing only her long white nightgown, she went into the foothills and then up the trail Frans had taken.
There, somewhere on a rocky outcrop, she sat down and sobbed. But the outcrop crumbled beneath her and she, too, fell to her death.
Now Eliza still wanders the crags of the Matroosberg when the moon is full: a pale ghost in her long white dress. She is known in Afrikaans as the "Heks van Hexrivier" (witch of the Hex River). A few decades ago the old farmstead was demolished. Eliza's name and the date were still on one of the windowsills.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The importance of these legends are that we should always try and find the meaning or teaching behind them.
For example, The tale of "Van Hunks and The Devil" reminds us never to brag or we might just find ourselves the victims of our own boastful attitude.
And the legend of "The Witch of the Hex River Valley" warns us that we should never think so much of ourselves that we let worthwile things pass us by. By demanding too much, we might just be the true losers in the end. Our own worth should be counted by how we treat others.
By following this link, you can read some more South African Myths and Legends.
If you have any that you would like to share...
Feel free to leave a comment or a link. I'd love reading it
ONLY IN SOUTH AFRICA!!!!
Thursday, 27. July 2006, 07:24:00
(Apparently, it's not only in South Africa!!! 
Well, it's still funny and it still has a familiar SA notion to it )
Actual writings on Mpumalanga (Northern Transvaal - S.A.) hospital charts:
1. She has no rigors or shaking chills, but her husband states she was very hot in bed last night.
2. Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year.
3. On the second day the knee was better, and on the third day it disappeared.
4. The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also appears to be depressed.
5. The patient has been depressed since she began seeing me in 1993.
6. Discharge status: Alive but without my permission.
7. Healthy appearing decrepit 69 year old male, mentally alert but forgetful.
8. The patient refused autopsy.
9. The patient has no previous history of suicides.
10. Patient has left white blood cells at another hospital.
11.Patient's medical history has been remarkably insignificant with only a 40 pound weight gain in the past three days.
12. Patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch.
13. She is numb from her toes down.
14. While in ER, she was examined, x-rated and sent home.
15. The skin was moist and dry.
16. Occasional, constant infrequent headaches.
17. Patient was alert and unresponsive.
18. Rectal examination revealed a normal size thyroid.
19. She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life, until she got a divorce.
20. I saw your patient today, who is still under our car for physical therapy.
21. Both breasts are equal and reactive to light and accommodation.
22. Examination of genitalia reveals that he is circus sized.
23. The lab test indicated abnormal lover function.
24. The patient was to have a bowel resection. However, he took a job as a stock broker instead.
25. Skin: somewhat pale but present.
26. The pelvic exam will be done later on the floor.
27. Patient was seen in consultation by Dr. Blank, who felt we should sit on the abdomen and I agree.
28. Large brown stool ambulating in the hall.
29.Patient has two teenage children, but no other abnormalities.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
An example of future math examination questions?
Examination Instructions:
1. Please write all answers between the lines.
2. No part of this answer book may be rolled and smoked.
3. No children of students are allowed to participate.
4. Please leave all firearms in the possession of parole officers.
5. Bribes will be accepted at a minimum of R300.00
6. If this exam does not match the one that you bought in advance notify the examiner.
QUESTION 1
Elias has an AK 47 with 2 magazines taped together, each holding 30 rounds.
If he misses 8 out of 10 shots, how many drive-by taxi shootings can he attend before having to reload?
QUESTION 2
Phineas has a 12-seater minibus, to avoid discomfort he never carries more than 23 people. Assuming each passenger weighs 85kg, and piles 35kg of luggage on the roof, he drives at 140 km/hr and that his brakes are 25% efficient, what would his stopping distance be?
a) 300 m
b) 600 m
c) 10 m
d) Depends if there is another passenger to pick up.
Seeing you only need 35% to pass these days, two questions should do it!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Duties of Wives
Three men were sitting together bragging about how they had given their new wives duties. Terry had married a woman from America, and bragged that he had told his wife she was going to do all the dishes and house cleaning that needed to be done at their house. He said that it took a couple days but on the third day he came home to a clean house and the dishes were all washed and put away.
Jimmie had married a woman from Canada. He bragged that he had given his wife orders that she was to do all the cleaning, dishes, and the cooking. He told them that the first day he didn't see any results, but the next day it was better. By the third day, his house was clean, the dishes were done, and he had a huge dinner on the table.
The third man had married a South African girl. He boasted that he told her that her duties were to keep the house cleaned, dishes washed, lawn mowed, laundry washed and hot meals on the table for every meal. He said the first day he didn't see anything, the second day he didn't see anything, but by the third day most of the swelling had gone down and he could see a little out of his left eye. Enough to fix himself a bite to eat, load the dishwasher, and call a landscaper.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Affirmative Action EMPLOYMENT APPLICATION
- Department of Labour
GENERAL KNOWLEDGE ENTRANCE EXAM
Name: _____________________________ (optional)
1. What language does a Zulu Warrior speak? _______________
2. Give a dissertation on the ancient Babylonian Empire with particular
reference to architecture, literature, law and social conditions, OR
give the first or last name of Scot Scott. ________
3. Would you ask William Shakespeare to
___ (a) Plow a field
___ (b) Build a boat
___ (c) Cook a meal
___ (d) WRITE A PLAY?
4. What religion is the Pope?
___ (a) Catholic
___ (b) Other
(check only one)
5. Metric conversion. How many feet is 0.0 meters?
6. What time is the news at ten on, when the big hand is on the 12 and
the little hand is on the 10? ___
7. How many commandments was Moses given? (approximately) ___
8. What are people in Africa's far north called?
___ (a) Westerners
___ (b) Southerners
___ (c) Northerners
___ (d) Italians
9. Spell: one, two and three -
one: __________________________________________
two: __________________________________________
three: __________________________________________
10. Six kings of England have been called George, the last one being
George the Sixth. Name the previous five:
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
11. Where does rain come from?
___ (a) The Spar
___ (b) a 7-11
___ (c) Canada
___ (d) the sky
12. Can you explain Einstein's Theory of Relativity?
___ (a) yes
___ (b) no
13. What are coat hangers used for?
14. Nkosi Sikelel' iAfrica is the National Anthem of what country?
15. Explain Le Chateliers Principle of Dynamic Equilibrium -OR-
give your age at birth: _____________________________
16. Where is the basement in a three-story building located?
17. Which Town in South Africa produces the most oranges?
___ (a) Laingsburg
___ (b) Beaufort West
___ (c) Colesburg
___ (d) CERES
18. Advanced math: If you have three apples, how many apples do you
have? ____
19. What does S.A.B.C (South African Broadcasting Corporation)
stand for? ________________________________________
20. Computers were invented when? (approximately)?
___ (a) B.C.
___ (b) A.D.
21. What is a gold coin made of? _______
22. Which of the following is NOT made from metal?
___ (a) An Anvil
___ (b) An electrical pylon
___ (c) A locomotive
___ (d) A pair of woollen socks
23. Who won World War 2? -OR- who came second? ________________________
24. What colour are the White Cliffs Of Dover? ________________________
25. How many lunch times are there in a four day working week? ___
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
These are excuse notes from parents (including original spelling)collected by schools from all over the country (SA).
1. My son is under a doctor's care and should not take P.E. today. Please execute him.
2. Please excuse Lisa for being absent. She was sick and I had her shot.
3. Dear School: Please ekscuse John being absent on Jan. 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, and also 33.
4. Please excuse Gloria from Jim today. She is administrating.
5. Please excuse Roland from P.E. for a few days. Yesterday he fell out of a tree and misplaced his hip.
6. John has been absent because he had two teeth taken out of his face.
7. Carlos was absent yesterday because he was playing football. He was hurt in the growing part.
8. Megan could not come to school today because she has been bothered by very close veins.
9. Chris will not be in school cus he has an acre in his side.
10. Please excuse Ray Friday from school. He has very loose vowels.
11. Please excuse Pedro from being absent yesterday. He had (diahre) (dyrea) (direathe) the sh1ts. [words in ()'s were crossed out.]
12. Please excuse Tommy for being absent yesterday. He had diarrhea and his boots leak.
13. Irving was absent yesterday because he missed his bust.
14. Please excuse Jimmy for being. It was his father's fault.
15. I kept Billie home because she had to go Christmas shopping because I don't know what size she wear.
16. Please excuse Jennifer for missing school yesterday. We forgot to get the Sunday paper off the porch, and when we found it Monday, we thought it was Sunday.
17. Sally won't be in school a week from Friday. We have to attend her funeral.
18. My daughter was absent yesterday because she was tired. She spent a weekend with the Marines.
19. Please excuse Jason for being absent yesterday. He had a cold and could not breed well.
20.Please excuse Mary for being absent yesterday. She was in bed with gramps.
21. Gloria was absent yesterday as she was having a gang-over.
22. Please excuse Burma, she has been sick and under the doctor.
23. Maryann was absent December 11-16, because she had a fever, sore throat, headache and upset stomach.
Her sister was also sick, fever and sore throat, her brother had a low grade fever and ached all over. I wasn't the best either, sore throat and fever. There must be something going around, her father even got hot last night.
24. Please excuse little Jimmy for not being in school yesterday. His father is gone and I could not get him ready because I was in bed with the doctor.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Well, what can I say, I LOVE SA!!!
These are just a few humorous jokes and stories I've taken from a very, very funny site...
For more, have a look at GPSA South African Jokes Index
Well, it's still funny and it still has a familiar SA notion to it )Actual writings on Mpumalanga (Northern Transvaal - S.A.) hospital charts:
1. She has no rigors or shaking chills, but her husband states she was very hot in bed last night.
2. Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year.
3. On the second day the knee was better, and on the third day it disappeared.
4. The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also appears to be depressed.
5. The patient has been depressed since she began seeing me in 1993.
6. Discharge status: Alive but without my permission.
7. Healthy appearing decrepit 69 year old male, mentally alert but forgetful.
8. The patient refused autopsy.
9. The patient has no previous history of suicides.
10. Patient has left white blood cells at another hospital.
11.Patient's medical history has been remarkably insignificant with only a 40 pound weight gain in the past three days.
12. Patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch.
13. She is numb from her toes down.
14. While in ER, she was examined, x-rated and sent home.
15. The skin was moist and dry.
16. Occasional, constant infrequent headaches.
17. Patient was alert and unresponsive.
18. Rectal examination revealed a normal size thyroid.
19. She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life, until she got a divorce.
20. I saw your patient today, who is still under our car for physical therapy.
21. Both breasts are equal and reactive to light and accommodation.
22. Examination of genitalia reveals that he is circus sized.
23. The lab test indicated abnormal lover function.
24. The patient was to have a bowel resection. However, he took a job as a stock broker instead.
25. Skin: somewhat pale but present.
26. The pelvic exam will be done later on the floor.
27. Patient was seen in consultation by Dr. Blank, who felt we should sit on the abdomen and I agree.
28. Large brown stool ambulating in the hall.
29.Patient has two teenage children, but no other abnormalities.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
An example of future math examination questions?
Examination Instructions:
1. Please write all answers between the lines.
2. No part of this answer book may be rolled and smoked.
3. No children of students are allowed to participate.
4. Please leave all firearms in the possession of parole officers.
5. Bribes will be accepted at a minimum of R300.00
6. If this exam does not match the one that you bought in advance notify the examiner.
QUESTION 1
Elias has an AK 47 with 2 magazines taped together, each holding 30 rounds.
If he misses 8 out of 10 shots, how many drive-by taxi shootings can he attend before having to reload?
QUESTION 2
Phineas has a 12-seater minibus, to avoid discomfort he never carries more than 23 people. Assuming each passenger weighs 85kg, and piles 35kg of luggage on the roof, he drives at 140 km/hr and that his brakes are 25% efficient, what would his stopping distance be?
a) 300 m
b) 600 m
c) 10 m
d) Depends if there is another passenger to pick up.
Seeing you only need 35% to pass these days, two questions should do it!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Duties of Wives
Three men were sitting together bragging about how they had given their new wives duties. Terry had married a woman from America, and bragged that he had told his wife she was going to do all the dishes and house cleaning that needed to be done at their house. He said that it took a couple days but on the third day he came home to a clean house and the dishes were all washed and put away.
Jimmie had married a woman from Canada. He bragged that he had given his wife orders that she was to do all the cleaning, dishes, and the cooking. He told them that the first day he didn't see any results, but the next day it was better. By the third day, his house was clean, the dishes were done, and he had a huge dinner on the table.
The third man had married a South African girl. He boasted that he told her that her duties were to keep the house cleaned, dishes washed, lawn mowed, laundry washed and hot meals on the table for every meal. He said the first day he didn't see anything, the second day he didn't see anything, but by the third day most of the swelling had gone down and he could see a little out of his left eye. Enough to fix himself a bite to eat, load the dishwasher, and call a landscaper.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Affirmative Action EMPLOYMENT APPLICATION
- Department of Labour
GENERAL KNOWLEDGE ENTRANCE EXAM
Name: _____________________________ (optional)
1. What language does a Zulu Warrior speak? _______________
2. Give a dissertation on the ancient Babylonian Empire with particular
reference to architecture, literature, law and social conditions, OR
give the first or last name of Scot Scott. ________
3. Would you ask William Shakespeare to
___ (a) Plow a field
___ (b) Build a boat
___ (c) Cook a meal
___ (d) WRITE A PLAY?
4. What religion is the Pope?
___ (a) Catholic
___ (b) Other
(check only one)
5. Metric conversion. How many feet is 0.0 meters?
6. What time is the news at ten on, when the big hand is on the 12 and
the little hand is on the 10? ___
7. How many commandments was Moses given? (approximately) ___
8. What are people in Africa's far north called?
___ (a) Westerners
___ (b) Southerners
___ (c) Northerners
___ (d) Italians
9. Spell: one, two and three -
one: __________________________________________
two: __________________________________________
three: __________________________________________
10. Six kings of England have been called George, the last one being
George the Sixth. Name the previous five:
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
11. Where does rain come from?
___ (a) The Spar
___ (b) a 7-11
___ (c) Canada
___ (d) the sky
12. Can you explain Einstein's Theory of Relativity?
___ (a) yes
___ (b) no
13. What are coat hangers used for?
14. Nkosi Sikelel' iAfrica is the National Anthem of what country?
15. Explain Le Chateliers Principle of Dynamic Equilibrium -OR-
give your age at birth: _____________________________
16. Where is the basement in a three-story building located?
17. Which Town in South Africa produces the most oranges?
___ (a) Laingsburg
___ (b) Beaufort West
___ (c) Colesburg
___ (d) CERES
18. Advanced math: If you have three apples, how many apples do you
have? ____
19. What does S.A.B.C (South African Broadcasting Corporation)
stand for? ________________________________________
20. Computers were invented when? (approximately)?
___ (a) B.C.
___ (b) A.D.
21. What is a gold coin made of? _______
22. Which of the following is NOT made from metal?
___ (a) An Anvil
___ (b) An electrical pylon
___ (c) A locomotive
___ (d) A pair of woollen socks
23. Who won World War 2? -OR- who came second? ________________________
24. What colour are the White Cliffs Of Dover? ________________________
25. How many lunch times are there in a four day working week? ___
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
These are excuse notes from parents (including original spelling)collected by schools from all over the country (SA).
1. My son is under a doctor's care and should not take P.E. today. Please execute him.
2. Please excuse Lisa for being absent. She was sick and I had her shot.
3. Dear School: Please ekscuse John being absent on Jan. 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, and also 33.
4. Please excuse Gloria from Jim today. She is administrating.
5. Please excuse Roland from P.E. for a few days. Yesterday he fell out of a tree and misplaced his hip.
6. John has been absent because he had two teeth taken out of his face.
7. Carlos was absent yesterday because he was playing football. He was hurt in the growing part.
8. Megan could not come to school today because she has been bothered by very close veins.
9. Chris will not be in school cus he has an acre in his side.
10. Please excuse Ray Friday from school. He has very loose vowels.
11. Please excuse Pedro from being absent yesterday. He had (diahre) (dyrea) (direathe) the sh1ts. [words in ()'s were crossed out.]
12. Please excuse Tommy for being absent yesterday. He had diarrhea and his boots leak.
13. Irving was absent yesterday because he missed his bust.
14. Please excuse Jimmy for being. It was his father's fault.
15. I kept Billie home because she had to go Christmas shopping because I don't know what size she wear.
16. Please excuse Jennifer for missing school yesterday. We forgot to get the Sunday paper off the porch, and when we found it Monday, we thought it was Sunday.
17. Sally won't be in school a week from Friday. We have to attend her funeral.
18. My daughter was absent yesterday because she was tired. She spent a weekend with the Marines.
19. Please excuse Jason for being absent yesterday. He had a cold and could not breed well.
20.Please excuse Mary for being absent yesterday. She was in bed with gramps.
21. Gloria was absent yesterday as she was having a gang-over.
22. Please excuse Burma, she has been sick and under the doctor.
23. Maryann was absent December 11-16, because she had a fever, sore throat, headache and upset stomach.
Her sister was also sick, fever and sore throat, her brother had a low grade fever and ached all over. I wasn't the best either, sore throat and fever. There must be something going around, her father even got hot last night.
24. Please excuse little Jimmy for not being in school yesterday. His father is gone and I could not get him ready because I was in bed with the doctor.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Well, what can I say, I LOVE SA!!!
These are just a few humorous jokes and stories I've taken from a very, very funny site...
For more, have a look at GPSA South African Jokes Index
South African Folk Songs
Tuesday, 30. May 2006, 11:34:50
I found some really nice South African folk songs on this site Scout Campfire Song Book - South African Songs
I hope you enjoy it as much as we South African's do.....
(I just copied these ones from the site above)
SHOSHOLOZA
Shosholoza was originally a sad song sung by people during hard labour, sometimes far away from home. It has become one of South Africa's most popular songs, especially as an anthem at sporting events. Rough English translation: Move faster, You are meandering on those mountains, The train is from South Africa. You accelerate, on those mountains, The train is from South Africa. "Shosholoza" means "Go forward" or "Make way for the next man". The word also sounds like the noise of a steam train. ("Stimela" is the Zulu word for a steam train).
Shosholoza, shosholoza
Kulezontaba
Stimela Sphuma South Africa
Wenu Yabaleka
Wenu Yabaleka,
Kulezontaba
Stimela Sphuma South Africa
SARIE MARAIS
A traditional Afrikaans folk song, created during the Anglo-Boer war around 1900. The tune was taken from a song called "Ellie Rhee" from the American Civil War, and the words translated into Afrikaans. The translation begins "My Sarie Marais is so far from my heart, but I hope to see her again. She lived near the Mooi River before this war began..." and the chorus goes "O take me back to the old Transvaal where my Sarie lives, Down among the maize fields near the green thorn tree, there lives my Sarie Marais". The title is pronounced "May SAH-ree muh-REH"
My Sarie Marais is so ver van my hart,
Maar'k hoop om haar weer te sien.
Sy het in die wyk van die Mooi Rivier gewoon,
Nog voor die oorlog het begin.
O bring my trug na die ou Transvaal,
Daar waar my Sarie woon.
Daar onder in die mielies
By die groen doringboom,
Daar woon my Sarie Marais.
Chorus: O bring my trug na die ou Transvaal,
Daar waar my Sarie woon.
Daar onder in die mielies
By die groen doringboom,
Daar woon my Sarie Marais.
Ek was so bang dat die Kakies my sou vang
En ver oor die see wegstuur;
Toe vlug ek na die kant van die Upington se sand
Daar onder langs die Grootrivier.
O bring my trug na die ou Transvaal,
Daar waar my Sarie woon.
Daar onder in die mielies
By die groen doringboom,
Daar woon my Sarie Marais.
Chorus
Die Kakies is mos net soos 'n krokodille pes,
Hulle sleep jou altyd water toe;
Hul gooi jou op n skip vir 'n lange, lange trip,
Die josie weet waarnatoe.
O bring my trug na die ou Transvaal,
Daar waar my Sarie woon.
Daar onder in die mielies
By die groen doringboom,
Daar woon my Sarie Marais.
Chorus
Verlossing die kom en die huis toe gaan was daar,
Terug na die ou Transvaal;
My lieflingspersoon sal seker ook daar wees
Om my met 'n kus te beloon.
O bring my trug na die ou Transvaal,
Daar waar my Sarie woon.
Daar onder in die mielies
By die groen doringboom,
Daar woon my Sarie Marais.
Chorus
DIE ALIBAMA
This is a traditional Afrikaans song, especially popular among the Cape Malays in Cape Town. It is translated into English as "There comes the Alabama, the Alabama comes over the sea. Girl, girl, the reed bed is made, the reed bed is made for me to sleep on." There are two stories about its origin: one is that the song was composed about the US Confederate raiding ship Alabama which called in Cape Town during the American Civil War in 1863 after capturing the Federal ship Sea Bride in Table Bay, leading to a huge party on the beach where the captain, Admiral Semmes, handed out provisions seized during raids. Another theory is that there was a local boat called Alabama that brought thatching reads to Cape Town from St Helena Bay on the West Coast of South Africa.
Daar kom die Alibama,
Die Alibama die kom oor die see
Daar kom die Alibama,
Die Alibama die kom oor die see.
Nooi, nooi, die rietkooi, nooi,
Die rietkooi is gemaak,
Die rietkooi is vir my gemaak
Om daarop te slaap.
Nooi, nooi, die rietkooi, nooi,
Die rietkooi is gemaak,
Die rietkooi is vir my gemaak
Om daarop te slaap.
Die Alibama, die Alibama,
Die Alibama kom oor die see.
Die Alibama, die Alibama,
Die Alibama kom oor die see.
AG PLEEZ DEDDY
Words and Music by Jeremy Taylor. This is a South African comedy classic from the 1960s, sung with a strong accent. The single sold more copies in South Africa than any of Elvis Presley's. The words have been updated slightly for this website, with apologies...
Ag pleez Deddy won't you take us to the drive-in
All six, seven of us, eight, nine, ten
We wanna see a flick about
Tarzan an' the Ape-men
An' when the show is over you can bring us back again
Chorus:
Popcorn, chewing gum, peanuts an' bubble gum
Ice cream, candy floss an' Eskimo Pie
Ag Deddy how we miss
Lekker balls an' licorice
Pepsi Cola, ginger beer
and Canada Dry
Ag Pleez Deddy won't you take us to the fun-fair
We wanna have a ride on the bumper-cars
We'll buy a stick of candy floss
And eat it on the Octopus
Then we'll take the rocket ship that goes to Mars
Chorus
Ag pleez Deddy won't you take us to the wrestling
We wanna see an ou called Sky High Lee
When he fights Willie Liebenberg
There's gonna be a murder
He's gonna catch a klap from Willie's knobkierrie
Chorus
Ag pleez Deddy won't you take us off to Durban
It's only eight hours in the Chevro-lay
There's spans of sea an' sand an' sun
And fish in the aquari-yum
That's a lekker place for a holi-day
Chorus
Ag Pleez Deddy - VOETSEK!
Ag sis Deddy if we can't kraak to bioscope
Or go off to Durban, life's a heng of a bore
If you won't take us to the zoo
Then what the heck else can we do
But go on out and moere all the oukies next door
Chorus
The History of the National Anthem of South Africa
Nkosi Sikelel' iAfrika (God Bless Africa) is the National Anthem of South Africa. There are no standard versions of the first two stanzas, so the words vary from region to region depending on the language of those singing it. The four stanzas are usually in the four main language groups of the country: Xhosa/Zulu, Sesotho/Setswana, Afrikaans, and English.In the version above, the first stanza is in Xhosa and the second in Sesotho.
The hymn Nkosi Sikelel' iAfrika was written by Reverend Enoch Sontonga, and became a song of the struggle for freedom in South Africa. Translated into many different languages, it is also the national anthem of several other countries in Southern and East Africa.
The final two verses come from Die Stem van Suid-Afrika, (the Call of South Africa) written by the poet and author C J Langenhoven. Until 1994, Die Stem was the anthem of South Africa, but many saw it to represent the white apartheid system.
In the past, Nkosi Sikelel' iAfrika and Die Stem represented the two sides in our divided country. Between 1994 and 1996 they served as joint anthems, but in 1996, the two anthems were combined to form the new National Anthem, a powerful symbol of national unity.
Nkosi Sikelel' iAfrika (God Bless Africa)
Nkosi sikelel' iAfrika
Maluphakanyisw' uphondo lwayo,
Yizwa imithandazo yethu,
Nkosi sikelela, thina lusapho lwayo.
Morena boloka setjhaba sa heso,
O fedise dintwa la matshwenyeho,
O se boloke, O se boloke setjhaba sa heso,
Setjhaba sa South Afrika - South Afrika.
Uit die blou van onse hemel
Uit die diepte van ons see
Oor ons ewige gebergtes
Waar die kranse antwoord gee,
Sounds the call to come together
And united we shall stand
Let us live and strive for freedom
In South Africa our land
There's more, so have a look Scout Campfire Song Book
I hope you enjoy it as much as we South African's do.....
(I just copied these ones from the site above)
SHOSHOLOZA
Shosholoza was originally a sad song sung by people during hard labour, sometimes far away from home. It has become one of South Africa's most popular songs, especially as an anthem at sporting events. Rough English translation: Move faster, You are meandering on those mountains, The train is from South Africa. You accelerate, on those mountains, The train is from South Africa. "Shosholoza" means "Go forward" or "Make way for the next man". The word also sounds like the noise of a steam train. ("Stimela" is the Zulu word for a steam train).
Shosholoza, shosholoza
Kulezontaba
Stimela Sphuma South Africa
Wenu Yabaleka
Wenu Yabaleka,
Kulezontaba
Stimela Sphuma South Africa
SARIE MARAIS
A traditional Afrikaans folk song, created during the Anglo-Boer war around 1900. The tune was taken from a song called "Ellie Rhee" from the American Civil War, and the words translated into Afrikaans. The translation begins "My Sarie Marais is so far from my heart, but I hope to see her again. She lived near the Mooi River before this war began..." and the chorus goes "O take me back to the old Transvaal where my Sarie lives, Down among the maize fields near the green thorn tree, there lives my Sarie Marais". The title is pronounced "May SAH-ree muh-REH"
My Sarie Marais is so ver van my hart,
Maar'k hoop om haar weer te sien.
Sy het in die wyk van die Mooi Rivier gewoon,
Nog voor die oorlog het begin.
O bring my trug na die ou Transvaal,
Daar waar my Sarie woon.
Daar onder in die mielies
By die groen doringboom,
Daar woon my Sarie Marais.
Chorus: O bring my trug na die ou Transvaal,
Daar waar my Sarie woon.
Daar onder in die mielies
By die groen doringboom,
Daar woon my Sarie Marais.
Ek was so bang dat die Kakies my sou vang
En ver oor die see wegstuur;
Toe vlug ek na die kant van die Upington se sand
Daar onder langs die Grootrivier.
O bring my trug na die ou Transvaal,
Daar waar my Sarie woon.
Daar onder in die mielies
By die groen doringboom,
Daar woon my Sarie Marais.
Chorus
Die Kakies is mos net soos 'n krokodille pes,
Hulle sleep jou altyd water toe;
Hul gooi jou op n skip vir 'n lange, lange trip,
Die josie weet waarnatoe.
O bring my trug na die ou Transvaal,
Daar waar my Sarie woon.
Daar onder in die mielies
By die groen doringboom,
Daar woon my Sarie Marais.
Chorus
Verlossing die kom en die huis toe gaan was daar,
Terug na die ou Transvaal;
My lieflingspersoon sal seker ook daar wees
Om my met 'n kus te beloon.
O bring my trug na die ou Transvaal,
Daar waar my Sarie woon.
Daar onder in die mielies
By die groen doringboom,
Daar woon my Sarie Marais.
Chorus
DIE ALIBAMA
This is a traditional Afrikaans song, especially popular among the Cape Malays in Cape Town. It is translated into English as "There comes the Alabama, the Alabama comes over the sea. Girl, girl, the reed bed is made, the reed bed is made for me to sleep on." There are two stories about its origin: one is that the song was composed about the US Confederate raiding ship Alabama which called in Cape Town during the American Civil War in 1863 after capturing the Federal ship Sea Bride in Table Bay, leading to a huge party on the beach where the captain, Admiral Semmes, handed out provisions seized during raids. Another theory is that there was a local boat called Alabama that brought thatching reads to Cape Town from St Helena Bay on the West Coast of South Africa.
Daar kom die Alibama,
Die Alibama die kom oor die see
Daar kom die Alibama,
Die Alibama die kom oor die see.
Nooi, nooi, die rietkooi, nooi,
Die rietkooi is gemaak,
Die rietkooi is vir my gemaak
Om daarop te slaap.
Nooi, nooi, die rietkooi, nooi,
Die rietkooi is gemaak,
Die rietkooi is vir my gemaak
Om daarop te slaap.
Die Alibama, die Alibama,
Die Alibama kom oor die see.
Die Alibama, die Alibama,
Die Alibama kom oor die see.
AG PLEEZ DEDDY
Words and Music by Jeremy Taylor. This is a South African comedy classic from the 1960s, sung with a strong accent. The single sold more copies in South Africa than any of Elvis Presley's. The words have been updated slightly for this website, with apologies...
Ag pleez Deddy won't you take us to the drive-in
All six, seven of us, eight, nine, ten
We wanna see a flick about
Tarzan an' the Ape-men
An' when the show is over you can bring us back again
Chorus:
Popcorn, chewing gum, peanuts an' bubble gum
Ice cream, candy floss an' Eskimo Pie
Ag Deddy how we miss
Lekker balls an' licorice
Pepsi Cola, ginger beer
and Canada Dry
Ag Pleez Deddy won't you take us to the fun-fair
We wanna have a ride on the bumper-cars
We'll buy a stick of candy floss
And eat it on the Octopus
Then we'll take the rocket ship that goes to Mars
Chorus
Ag pleez Deddy won't you take us to the wrestling
We wanna see an ou called Sky High Lee
When he fights Willie Liebenberg
There's gonna be a murder
He's gonna catch a klap from Willie's knobkierrie
Chorus
Ag pleez Deddy won't you take us off to Durban
It's only eight hours in the Chevro-lay
There's spans of sea an' sand an' sun
And fish in the aquari-yum
That's a lekker place for a holi-day
Chorus
Ag Pleez Deddy - VOETSEK!
Ag sis Deddy if we can't kraak to bioscope
Or go off to Durban, life's a heng of a bore
If you won't take us to the zoo
Then what the heck else can we do
But go on out and moere all the oukies next door
Chorus
The History of the National Anthem of South Africa
Nkosi Sikelel' iAfrika (God Bless Africa) is the National Anthem of South Africa. There are no standard versions of the first two stanzas, so the words vary from region to region depending on the language of those singing it. The four stanzas are usually in the four main language groups of the country: Xhosa/Zulu, Sesotho/Setswana, Afrikaans, and English.In the version above, the first stanza is in Xhosa and the second in Sesotho.
The hymn Nkosi Sikelel' iAfrika was written by Reverend Enoch Sontonga, and became a song of the struggle for freedom in South Africa. Translated into many different languages, it is also the national anthem of several other countries in Southern and East Africa.
The final two verses come from Die Stem van Suid-Afrika, (the Call of South Africa) written by the poet and author C J Langenhoven. Until 1994, Die Stem was the anthem of South Africa, but many saw it to represent the white apartheid system.
In the past, Nkosi Sikelel' iAfrika and Die Stem represented the two sides in our divided country. Between 1994 and 1996 they served as joint anthems, but in 1996, the two anthems were combined to form the new National Anthem, a powerful symbol of national unity.
Nkosi Sikelel' iAfrika (God Bless Africa)
Nkosi sikelel' iAfrika
Maluphakanyisw' uphondo lwayo,
Yizwa imithandazo yethu,
Nkosi sikelela, thina lusapho lwayo.
Morena boloka setjhaba sa heso,
O fedise dintwa la matshwenyeho,
O se boloke, O se boloke setjhaba sa heso,
Setjhaba sa South Afrika - South Afrika.
Uit die blou van onse hemel
Uit die diepte van ons see
Oor ons ewige gebergtes
Waar die kranse antwoord gee,
Sounds the call to come together
And united we shall stand
Let us live and strive for freedom
In South Africa our land
There's more, so have a look
Scout Campfire Song BookShowing posts 1 - 5 of 7.
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