Life by the Drop

I wish I could say no regrets

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So I met this boy on Craigs List...under "Casual Encounters"

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OMG. so I called in to work today and told them that my brother died. I'm sorry. I had to get some stress out. And I figured out while I've been at home that H and I go through these cycles:

• 
  He gets an attitude about something and we start arguing.
  

• 
  
  I get all mopey and start feeling like the smallest person in the world. I just want it to end. Please stop yelling, it's scaring me and making me cry. The other night I think I cried harder then I've ever cried before in my life when we were fighting. I don't know sometimes if I'm gonna make it. He makes me feel horrible, like I never should have married him. But I can't leave him and I think it's because Ive never been on my own. That's scary. Esp doing it at almost 30. Leaving the life you've known since you were 16 and going out on your own. Hmmmmmm.
  

• 
  He starts feeling bad b/c Im crying and starts to apologize.
  

• 
  I get so emotional that I get emotionally sick. Headaches, gut rot, sore muscles/joints that I can't even function enough to go to work (TODAY!)
  

So. That's that. I need to call Mom. S (sister) still won't talk to me.
BFF (My best friend) thinks it's funny that I told them at work and now everyone feels sorry for me. I'm so going to hell. Oh well, see ya there. the dieting (no eating out) is going well. It's been It's been 10 days and I am goibg to be eating out for the 2nd time tonight when H gets home from going back to hicksville where we're from with his BFF. So I at least have that on my plate.