Mannequin Zone

Well to all of you who are not me, I am back. For the past week I've had some technical issues with computer technology. Simple fix was all it needed while I was going crazy with all of this extreme stuff. I am happy it is working good now because I thought I would have to take drastic measures.

I am sure you have all been wondering about what has been going on in my head, just go with it. Surprisingly, it has been a slow week. The sad part is I will sit all day and have these great things to write about than forget about them. It is a sad feeling because I cannot spread my joy and greatness to all of you. I did learn something this week though, sophmore students can be, how to put this nicely, harlets. There was a trip for a club at my school for three days and apparently these students were doing some non-curricular activities (hence the chocolate frog). I guess I am just shocked that they would be involved in such activities when you have teachers supervising you. It just seems stupid to do since they all got in trouble for it. I guess that is the price you pay when you are not me.

Also I've found myself caught in situations where I see something so funny but just cannot laugh out of kindness. The other day I saw this girl's hairstyle and found it to be the funniest thing. Problem was I was walking directly behind this girl so I could not let out the hearty laugh something like that deserves. I wish I had a picture to show you all. Another thing that got me was when I was walking down the hall at school and saw a girl trip while running up the stairs. The actual fall was not that funny but the way she tried to play it off had me cracking up. The bad part about that was I had to walk directly past her and try not to laugh. I guess what I am asking is, in a given situation, is it appropriate to laugh at a person's shortcomings?

Finally, I want to talk about an awesome album. The guitarist from 'Rage Against The Machine' and 'Audioslave', Tom Morello has released a solo album titled 'One Man Revolution' with the alias of 'The Nightwatchman'. It is basically Morello with an acoustic guitar singing songs with political concepts. I usually tend to try and stay away from those ablums but this one is awesome (like a Mr. Abe Vigoda). The album has been in my mp3 player for a while now and I am loving every song. I enjoy albums that have the artist writing from the heart and that is what this album does. Seriously, check it out because it awesome and it is what all of the cool kids do.

The other day, while I was watching ESPNEWS when they had a female golfer on the show. Before they went to commercial break, they had the camera directly on her. It remained on her for a couple of seconds. She was smiling, but it wasn't a true smile. It was the forced smile. You can tell from the eyes (eyes are the key to everything). The look in her eyes totally said "I don't want to have this camera on me. I really want a hot pocket and some jelly beans". It is an awkward situation for me, the precious viewer. It annoys me when people do that, but I myself am very guilty. I think we all are. It is just something that we all do, like breathe or cartwheels in the rain.

I also want to talk about this song I heard a little while ago. It is a song by the band 'Sprites' titled 'George Romero'. The songs gets its name from director/writer best known for his 'Dead Series' of films 'Night of the Living Dead', 'Dawn of the Dead', 'Day of the Dead', 'Land of the Dead', and the upcoming 'Diary of the Dead'. The song talks about how they would want to live in a mall like the characters do in the movie 'Dawn of the Dead'. The song just has a catch tune that will stay with you (like referencing Abe Vigoda in every post will stay with me). Here is a link to the song 'George Romero' - Sprites. Kudos to the band for having downloads of their song on their website, sprites.org.uk

Another song I want to talk about is the 'Ben Folds' cover of the 'Dr. Dre' song 'B*tches Ain't Sh*t'. It is really fun to hear a piano with a soft voice sing those lyrics. I laugh and then stop in amazement of the vulgar lyrics in this form. This song really has put what rappers are trying to say. I wish that Ben Folds would introduce more covers of rap songs to the world to help me understand the messages of rappers. On a completely different note I did hear an acoustic cover of 'Hey Ya' by 'Outkast'. That was cool since I really dig acoustic songs.

Finally, I have a bone to pick with a Mr. Spike Lee. I was flipping around on TV the other day when I see the movie 'Summer of Sam' was on. I am sitting there thinking I was going to get a movie about the 'Son of Sam' killer David Berkowitz. The film, although it did have some 'Son of Sam' in it, was mainly about the summer of '77 in an Italian area of the Bronx. I am not saying it was a bad film, but the title is very misleading. Instead of a straight film about the murderer, I get a story of befriending those around you, the heat of '77, people changing, and the New York Yankees run to the World Series (the year Reggie Jackson hit three homeruns in one World Series game). Anyway, I just feel Spike Lee lied to me. I don't need a national apology, just a little something that says 'My Bad - Spike', maybe a box of Trix yogurt would do.

It was awesome. You know what I am talking about. Not all of the Don Imus stuff, but the amazing NHL playoff games yesterday. It once again proves my point that hockey is awesome. I feel I have to show the world that. Back to the point, their where two games that saw overtime action. The first saw a double overtime affair. The best though saw the game hit four overtimes. You just can't beat that people. I suggest you all watch the rest of the games during these playoffs (I was going to demand you to but then it would sound like we were in a cult. I had to mention the cult because I saw it on a 'Strangers With Candy' episode today).

Also, I want to commend the guys behind 'South Park'. The episode that aired last night (D-Yikes!) was just great. It mainly parodied the movie '300'. That alone I thought was funny but Ms. Garrison becoming a lesbian was just amazing. I don't know where these guys think of some of these things but it is funny. Plus everyone using the 'day laborers' to do their work was pretty funny. It wasn't the best episode from this season, but it was good. Scissor me timbers! (I just had to.)

I also want to give one last highlight to Scottish rock band 'The Fratellis'. I got their album 'Costello Music' after hearing them perform in the one IPod commercial (the song was 'Flathead'). I didn't think I would keep it in my mp3 player long but it has remained there. The songs just seem to get stuck in my head. I think my favorite is 'Vince The Lovable Stoner'. It is a pretty dumb song but yet I am really into it. I have to say though, this rock from other countries seems to keep me more intersted than most of the new stuff that surfaces here in America (where we're awesome). Another band that got me interested was 'Mando Diao' out of Sweden. I am thinking the different sound just amazes me, or maybe most new music is crap in America. That is another argument though that I don't care to have because it is playoff hockey time! Abe Vigoda for life. (I will mention him in every post now.) Poor guy. Many people think he is dead.

While watching the news today, there was a report on the obesity problem facing this country. I for one have a problem with these reports. The camera always seems to zoom in on the mid-section of a person to prove that they are overweight. Honestly, can't we tell if a person has a weight problem by seeing their neck and up? It is not that the fat all goes entirely to that region of their body. Maybe I am just missing the point of it all.

I also must say I am very excited that it is Easter. I will get one of my favorite treats. You guessed it (so you didn't), Easter pie. It is a pie with the best filling ever, cheese and meat. If you don't like one of those two things, there is something wrong. I can see meat, but cheese is so very awesome. Anyway, the pie is great. It tastes so good. You should really try it.

Finally, I want to share one of the weirdest dreams I have ever had with you all. Basically, my phone was going off during an important speech that George Busth was giving. Well, this was a terrible thing. My punishment had me sent to a room with movie critic Gene Shalit where he did his best to put his moves on me. It was very disturbing. I really don't even know what made me think of him. Although, now I know to never disrupt the President because the aftermath can be very bad.

It has been a few days since my last post, but the world still finds a way to keep coming up with amazing and odd people. There never seems to be a shortage of characters. Well, this past weekend, I think I have heard of one of the craziest. A 20-year-old man has received a sentence of probation for having sex with a dead deer. Let that one sink in. Yes, disgusting. Was it a deer that was killed in a car accident and was on the side of the road? Also, who found out about this? If someone caught him, I am sure it had to be really awkward. What exactly do you say to him?

The best part about this story is that it was not the first time this man has been in trouble for sex with an animal. A few years ago, this man killed a horse for the purpose of having sex with the corpse. Now they placed him in prison. See, that is where they went wrong. This man must be locked in a room with a ton of adult films to help him understand that living people might give you some more enjoyable pleasure.

Also, I was shocked to learn the new 'Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles' movie was the top grossing at the box office this weekend. I can honestly say I am shocked. I didn't think there were that many kids out there who hit the movies. Maybe I am wrong though. There may be a large group of older teens out there who still think it is really cool. You all know who these people are. They are the people who are in love with the crazy anime fighting cartoons. They have all of the video games, DVD's, magazines, etc. But don't call them childish for this, they don't like that. I was once told by one of these people, who will remain nameless, that these are "adult" cartoons for "adult" fans. (Yes, your vision of this person is correct. Large with glasses and a heavy weeze.)

Finally, I've been thinking about my life. I need a sidekick. It would be awesome to have. They can bail me out in a tough situation and they can be the punchline of a good amount of jokes. My sidekick can also provide comic relief when I am in a very serious situation. I also want the sidekick to be easily abductable so I can look like an awesome hero when I go save him from that predator that will pick him up. I think I have narrowed my sidekick down to two people, either an older version of Hadji Quest or that drunk guy at the bar from 'The Wedding Singer'. (The old guy who goes to punch the guy in the face but wasn't strong enough.)