My OperaProjection
Thursday, March 17, 2011 12:26:12 AM
I think, some times, that my biggest failure in this life, is the complete lack of understanding. I just seem not to get a whole lot that goes on around me, but lately I have started enforcing boundaries, that have been long established, but seen to have crumbled without warning or notice. I just can't, no matter how hard I try, grasp the reasoning behind the disrepair? Was I not strong enough, determined enough, consistent enough? I just don't understand how things can spin so rapidly, out of control with out awareness, then all of a sudden, it is like the dirt is cleaned from a window and the sunlight invades, once dark and shadowy places, and it reveals the truth.
The truth of what was and how the boundary lines began to fade. Or were they ever really there? Did they even exsist outside of my own mind? Did I not make them clear enough? What did I do wrong?
As more sunlight fills the once darkened spaces of my life, I begin to see that it was not only just me, but others I allowed into the ever so sacred circle that surrounds our hearts, where we hold the most precious of things as close to us as we can possibly get them, without changing them.
My failure was not from enforcing my boundaries strong enough, as I am a formidable force to be reckoned with, especially if I am in the right. It comes from my lack of understanding as to why people project themselves and their selfish desires and hurts on to some one else. How can one person be so hateful as to do project all of life's ills and wrongs on to a single person? Well, it is done everyday.
We human beings walk this earth and we are charged with it's welfare, we are also human, therefore, we want all control over all things. One religion is right and the other is wrong so kill all the wrong ones like we are culling a herd of elephants. They have no spirit and therefore they are only animal in the basic form...unless of course we take a fancy to one of them,then we get to enslave them and make them do our bidding. We are constantly forcing our will and desires on to other people and projecting onto them our evils and hurts as well, making them the bad guy, when all along they were minding their own business and doing what they knew to be the right thing, not hurting anyone, but just trying to get through this horrible life, with as much joy and peace as possible, because we have hearts full of love and charity. We people, like that, have no desire to harm anyone, we want to help, laugh, bring good cheer and joy and peace to those we love and our neighbors. We do what we are mandated to do by our Lord and Savior, and yet others,just don't seem to like that much.
I guess our charitable hearts make us prime targets for the proverbial dumping grounds for the angry and ever depressed. I don't understand why they insist upon projecting themselves onto us and expect us to continue to smile. I am not strong enough to take all of their ills and angers and deal with everyday life that is never easy to navigate through in the first place. Who said I had to be so strong as to take all of the world's evil onto my shoulders? My name is NOT Y'shua, it is idrwhat, it is who I am, and only one person in this earth's entire history, has ever been that strong and he hung on a cross for it. I am not that person, I can never hope to be that strong in the first place, I am but human and I have my limits.
I don't want hatred projected at me from another human being. I don't want to pay for anyone else's sins, I just want to be allowed to be me and stand my ground.
You can beat me
you can tear me down
call me names that aren't true
accuse me falsely
and imprison me...
the simple truth of the matter is, I am who I am and I am not strong enough to take your burdens and blames. There has only been one person in history who ever did that, and that was not me.
The truth of what was and how the boundary lines began to fade. Or were they ever really there? Did they even exsist outside of my own mind? Did I not make them clear enough? What did I do wrong?
As more sunlight fills the once darkened spaces of my life, I begin to see that it was not only just me, but others I allowed into the ever so sacred circle that surrounds our hearts, where we hold the most precious of things as close to us as we can possibly get them, without changing them.
My failure was not from enforcing my boundaries strong enough, as I am a formidable force to be reckoned with, especially if I am in the right. It comes from my lack of understanding as to why people project themselves and their selfish desires and hurts on to some one else. How can one person be so hateful as to do project all of life's ills and wrongs on to a single person? Well, it is done everyday.
We human beings walk this earth and we are charged with it's welfare, we are also human, therefore, we want all control over all things. One religion is right and the other is wrong so kill all the wrong ones like we are culling a herd of elephants. They have no spirit and therefore they are only animal in the basic form...unless of course we take a fancy to one of them,then we get to enslave them and make them do our bidding. We are constantly forcing our will and desires on to other people and projecting onto them our evils and hurts as well, making them the bad guy, when all along they were minding their own business and doing what they knew to be the right thing, not hurting anyone, but just trying to get through this horrible life, with as much joy and peace as possible, because we have hearts full of love and charity. We people, like that, have no desire to harm anyone, we want to help, laugh, bring good cheer and joy and peace to those we love and our neighbors. We do what we are mandated to do by our Lord and Savior, and yet others,just don't seem to like that much.
I guess our charitable hearts make us prime targets for the proverbial dumping grounds for the angry and ever depressed. I don't understand why they insist upon projecting themselves onto us and expect us to continue to smile. I am not strong enough to take all of their ills and angers and deal with everyday life that is never easy to navigate through in the first place. Who said I had to be so strong as to take all of the world's evil onto my shoulders? My name is NOT Y'shua, it is idrwhat, it is who I am, and only one person in this earth's entire history, has ever been that strong and he hung on a cross for it. I am not that person, I can never hope to be that strong in the first place, I am but human and I have my limits.
I don't want hatred projected at me from another human being. I don't want to pay for anyone else's sins, I just want to be allowed to be me and stand my ground.
You can beat me
you can tear me down
call me names that aren't true
accuse me falsely
and imprison me...
the simple truth of the matter is, I am who I am and I am not strong enough to take your burdens and blames. There has only been one person in history who ever did that, and that was not me.
