My OperaWhat I Want
Saturday, December 18, 2010 8:33:45 AM
Sometimes I look at my life and I say, 'WTF, why me?'. The answer comes rushing in like an excited child with his first frog, screaming, 
. Very impatient the answer is. Only the answer isn't as cute and fun as the child with his first frog. It is rather annoying and as inconsiderate as a daycare full of screaming, crying children. The answer is always, 'Why not me?'.
So I have learned not to ask the question but instead look at my world and dig deep and watch a show 2 years after the series has ended. Mostly NCIS but lately it is LOST, and think about what it is I really want.
What I really want is, is to look behind that, elusive, curtain that hides all of the answers to tomorrow. I want to know that my world will not be totally turned upside down and we all are left wondering, ' When is the other shoe going to fall? When can we advance to the next stage? O WOW it's Friday already?'
Another thing I want is...To be paid fairly for the work that I do and not to be taken advantage of, no matter the circumstance. I want my family to feel secure and not have to wonder if they will go to school in the morning or have to pack and move because the landlords up and left, soon after they stopped making the mortgage payments. They packed up everything, including the rose bushes, and were gone, leaving no forwarding address. The house has gone on the auction block once and is headed there again. In the meantime, they have to live day in and day out with a Dad who is in, an extraordinary amount of, pain due to getting injured at work. He can no longer spend the time doing the things he used to do with ease. There are no more family outings, every other day or every weekend. No more bike rides with the dogs, when Dad was the one they really wanted to keep up with. They boys would laugh and holler with delight as those dogs raced passed them with me in tow, yelling ' MOVE OUTTA DA WAY!!' . We would ride for about 30 minutes, then the dogs would slow down enough for all of us to ride as a family with no races. Giving us all time to comment on how one dog laughs and the other is just to busy smiling and bouncing to laugh. The dogs happiness was contagious and we all laughed.
What I really want...is for that time back. I want my family to smile and laugh, together, again.
But for now we will walk through each and every painful moment of every day, praying that we will all see that day, that time again. That he will do that again.
. Very impatient the answer is. Only the answer isn't as cute and fun as the child with his first frog. It is rather annoying and as inconsiderate as a daycare full of screaming, crying children. The answer is always, 'Why not me?'.So I have learned not to ask the question but instead look at my world and dig deep and watch a show 2 years after the series has ended. Mostly NCIS but lately it is LOST, and think about what it is I really want.
What I really want is, is to look behind that, elusive, curtain that hides all of the answers to tomorrow. I want to know that my world will not be totally turned upside down and we all are left wondering, ' When is the other shoe going to fall? When can we advance to the next stage? O WOW it's Friday already?'
Another thing I want is...To be paid fairly for the work that I do and not to be taken advantage of, no matter the circumstance. I want my family to feel secure and not have to wonder if they will go to school in the morning or have to pack and move because the landlords up and left, soon after they stopped making the mortgage payments. They packed up everything, including the rose bushes, and were gone, leaving no forwarding address. The house has gone on the auction block once and is headed there again. In the meantime, they have to live day in and day out with a Dad who is in, an extraordinary amount of, pain due to getting injured at work. He can no longer spend the time doing the things he used to do with ease. There are no more family outings, every other day or every weekend. No more bike rides with the dogs, when Dad was the one they really wanted to keep up with. They boys would laugh and holler with delight as those dogs raced passed them with me in tow, yelling ' MOVE OUTTA DA WAY!!' . We would ride for about 30 minutes, then the dogs would slow down enough for all of us to ride as a family with no races. Giving us all time to comment on how one dog laughs and the other is just to busy smiling and bouncing to laugh. The dogs happiness was contagious and we all laughed.
What I really want...is for that time back. I want my family to smile and laugh, together, again.
But for now we will walk through each and every painful moment of every day, praying that we will all see that day, that time again. That he will do that again.
