Friday, 9. May 2008, 09:55:12
life, inspiration, motherhood
If I may, I'd like to begin today's proceedings by addressing the impending holiday. Essentially, I just want to say a few words about my beloved mother - words that she certainly doesn't hear from me as often as she should (I rather suspect that more than a few mothers out there can identify).
It took many years before I was able to even partially grasp what my mom - and my dad, who has been continually supportive and steadfastly reliable - had to sacrifice and set aside in order to raise children. It also goes without saying that I am eternally grateful for my parents' willingness to put so much time and energy into their kids.
My mom is a great example of what anyone can do if she puts her mind to it. A highly intelligent woman of great accomplishments, she chooses not to bask in reflected glory but instead humbly spends her free time helping disadvantaged children or spearheading progress in local political matters. She is an amalgamation of true grit and true class, projecting a caring and optimistic attitude even in the midst of physical or emotional pain.
I've heard it said that no present you give your mother can possibly equal the gift she has bestowed upon you. A touching sentiment, to be sure, and one that I unquestionably agree with. Of course, this doesn't mean we shouldn't try...so Mom, I just wanted to tell you how much I appreciate all that you've done for me. I'm pretty sure that raising me wasn't exactly a picnic, and I thank you for showing me how to be ambitious, courageous, compassionate, responsible, patient, loyal and loving all at the same time. The following quotes will hopefully serve to further sum up my feelings:
"A mother understands what a child does not say." - Jewish proverb
"Mother - that was the bank where we deposited all our hurts and worries." - T. DeWitt Talmage
"My mother had a great deal of trouble with me, but I think she enjoyed it." - Mark Twain
"I remember my mother's prayers and they have always followed me. They have clung to me all my life." - Abraham Lincoln
Thanks for everything, Mom. I'll see you soon...
Now, moving on to other matters, how about a status report from yours truly? (Just in case you really are that bored).
Though I've been in a perpetual state of shock since realizing that it's already May and the year is close to being halfway over, I've managed to keep my wits about me, for now. The heretofore largely untapped and unharnessed "power of positive thinking" has become a dependable source of inspiration in recent weeks. Don't get me wrong, it's not that I was unable to think positively before - I simply wasn't utilizing this celebrated technique in such a dedicated manner. I guess you could say something finally "clicked" for me.
In truth, I consider myself to be a realist; therefore my dreams and expectations are often tempered by a dose of cynicism and (in theory, anyway) common sense. As I've detailed in this blog before, I used to be what you'd call a "big-picture" person, but that simply became too stressful after a while. Allow me to explain: If I spend an inordinate amount of time looking at the big picture, I have a vexing tendency to ignore the "periphery" of human existence. As I see it, life is constructed almost exclusively from those little moments that you're never quite ready for - and I was missing out on a lot of them.
So I switched to a philosophy of "just taking it day-by-day," or to further simplify things, "taking it easy." This, combined with a newfound sense of freedom, has enabled me to remain upbeat and focused even if a particular situation isn't going as well as I would have hoped. I'm at a point in my life right now where I seem to be learning new things about myself every day, and I have to tell you, it feels great.
I'm honestly not trying to brag - there are several cans of worms I could easily open, but I'll kindly spare you the discomfort. Once again, it comes back to staying positive and simply trying to enjoy my life as best I can. The only trap I'll have to watch out for is the potential for closing my eyes to the "big picture" entirely - but I am hoping that a keen awareness of my own mortality will keep me in check. I'll let you know how it goes.
As always, I thank you for reading, and if you've enjoyed today's post, please feel free to comment - because I can't get enough of that wonderful fluff. I wish you nothing but the best as we continue our journey toward the second half of 2008. Hope to hear from you soon...
- John
Monday, 28. April 2008, 09:19:38
perception, subjectivity, reality
"Death's brother, Sleep." - Virgil
"To perceive is to suffer." - Aristotle
"Illusion is the first of all pleasures." - Voltaire
"Humankind cannot bear very much reality." - T.S. Eliot
"Nothing is as far away as one minute ago." - Jim Bishop
"People see the world not as it is, but as they are." - Al Lee
"Things do not change; we change." - Henry David Thoreau
"Time is an illusion. Lunchtime doubly so." - Douglas Adams
"Reality is not always probable, or likely." - Jorge Luis Borges
"A minute's success pays the failure of years." - Robert Browning
"Your goals, minus your doubts, equal your reality." - Ralph Marston
"Life is an unbroken succession of false situations." - Thornton Wilder
"Life is far too important a thing ever to talk seriously about." - Oscar Wilde
"What may be done at any time will be done at no time." - Scottish Proverb
"To live is so startling it leaves little time for anything else." - Emily Dickinson
"Few people have the imagination for reality." - Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
"The shadow is what we think of it; the tree is the real thing." - Abraham Lincoln
"I believe in looking reality straight in the eye and denying it." - Garrison Keillor
"I hate cameras. They are so much more sure than I am about everything." - John Steinbeck
"Not to be absolutely certain is, I think, one of the essential things in rationality." - Bertrand Russell
"Listening to both sides of a story will convince you that there is more to a story than both sides." - Frank Tyger
"A positive attitude may not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort." - Herm Albright
Wednesday, 23. April 2008, 19:31:55
relationships, life, wisdom
A few random thoughts on a Wednesday afternoon...
Hey, thanks for coming by. How are you today? Good? Great? Fantastic?! I hope so. Personally, I'm in a pretty decent mood, as after tomorrow I'll be enjoying a day or two off from work. You know how things are - we all look forward to the sweet relief of the weekend (in whatever form it may take).
Okay, so let's just go ahead and get it out into the open: Yesterday marked four weeks to the day since my longtime girlfriend and I split up. This is not a plea for sympathy or a ploy for attention; rather, I'm simply trying to be honest about what's going on because, obviously, this event has ramifications for my life and the lives of those friends and family members whom I haven't managed to chase away over the years (yet).
I'm not going to say anything else on the matter, as I don't feel that it's appropriate to continue this discussion at the present time or in this particular format. Long story short, if I seem a bit distracted at times, well, now you know exactly why.
Abraham Lincoln said, "I claim not to have controlled events, but confess plainly that events have controlled me." This quote features a combination of wisdom and humility which is typically a difficult balancing act to pull off - one of the many things I admire about old Abe. Would that I could possess and exhibit said qualities with such ease, but alas, it appears I will have to make do with my sense of humor for now. Some might say I am lacking even that...
At any rate, I should probably get going; however, I am grateful to you for reading through this nonsense. Here's wishing everyone a fun-filled remainder of the workweek, and of course I hope to hear from you soon. Have a nice day, and I shall return in due time...or post-haste, I'm not sure which. It really depends.
See you later.
- John
Monday, 21. April 2008, 20:29:33
spirituality, humanity, introspection, freedom
Does that title make sense to anyone? Probably not; I'll try to explain it later, when I have more time - or maybe I'll just wait a while in the hope that you'll eventually forget about it. For the time being, I'd like to ramble on about a subject very near and dear to my heart (can you guess which one)? Yes, it's yours truly; sorry if you were hoping for something interesting, but that's really your fault for coming here in the first place. Just kidding...
As for me, well, I'm not a bad guy, if I do say so myself - though quite possibly just a tad self-absorbed at times. You know that whole "two sides of the coin" thing? Yeah, that's pretty much me to a T. I live my life in a much different way than you might expect of someone with my upbringing and background. Though I'm proud to say I make my own choices (and am fully aware of the levels of accountability involved), the beliefs and principles with which I was ingrained as a child continue to hold sway over my actions - not always a bad thing, but definitely a source of internal conflict.
At the very least, my early experiences with spirituality kicked my conscience into a higher gear (temporarily, anyway), to the point where, to paraphrase Mick Foley in his autobiography, "I carried around enough guilt to start my own religion." Apologies to all concerned if that comes across as slightly blasphemous - certainly not my intent.
All I'm saying is, I have slowly and painfully discovered over the years that rationalization and justification (the two gifts man gives himself, remember) will only get you so far. The ever-present shadow of a looming guilt pang is enough to prevent me from doing most of the things I probably shouldn't be doing...but not everything.
I am sure that many of you can sympathize, as we (and I'm speaking in very general terms here) are raised to adhere to the practices of various religions, then turned loose into a frighteningly unstable world which is rife with incredible temptation and fraught with unimaginable personal peril. Though to be fair, I suppose that's just the way things are, and have been for a long time indeed.
No one ever promised that life would be easy, but with precious few "good examples" to be found in popular culture or politics, and in an existence where routine and stability do not necessarily coincide, how does one know what to believe in, or even how to feel? Are these questions that each individual must answer for him or herself? Should I silence my prattling and just get over myself already?
These are issues that weigh very heavily on my mind, but I try hard not to let them affect my day-to-day life in a disproportionate manner. "If life is a buffet, I'm just trying to sample as much of it as I can before it closes;" this admittedly juvenile philosophy has actually become a source of inspiration (and no, I'm not going to make any "soul comfort food" jokes).
After a quarter-century of trying to comprehend and master the various nuances of the human experience, I find that while I have more questions than ever, I seem to finally be getting closer to some of the answers. Of course, I still have a long way to go, as I suspect most people might be inclined to admit. Perhaps when I get a little older, it will all make sense to me. I'm sure of it.
Thanks for reading...
- John
Monday, 7. April 2008, 10:09:00
quotes, wit, humor
As I pondered potential themes for this, my latest contribution to the (ugh) "blogosphere," I suddenly thought to myself, "You know, it's about time we had a little bit of levity around here." Exact words! To be honest, though, I really don't have it in me right now, and I know better than to try and force humor - the results are generally quite disastrous. So, I'm afraid we'll have to make do with what I promise will be the last batch of famous quotes for a while. Enjoy...
"The superfluous is very necessary." - Voltaire
"I really didn't say everything I said." - Yogi Berra
"He had decided to live forever or die in the attempt." - J. Heller
"The surest way to be late is to have plenty of time." - Leo Kennedy
"Procrastination gives you something to look forward to." - Joan Konner
"If you die in an elevator, be sure to push the Up button." - Sam Levenson
"I couldn't wait for success, so I went ahead without it." - Jonathan Winters
"If you can't annoy somebody, there's little point in writing." - Kingsley Amis
"The ability to quote is a serviceable substitute for wit." - Somerset Maugham
"The secret to creativity is knowing how to hide your sources." - Albert Einstein
"Whenever people agree with me, I always think I must be wrong." - Oscar Wilde
"When having my portrait painted I don't want justice, I want mercy." - Billy Hughes
"Ever wonder if illiterate people get the full effect of alphabet soup?" - John Mendosa
"If all else fails, immortality can always be assured by spectacular error." - John Galbraith
"It is better for civilization to be going down the drain than to be coming up it." - Henry Allen
"All my life I wanted to be someone; I guess I should have been more specific." - Jane Wagner
"Ninety percent of the politicians give the other ten percent a bad reputation." - Henry Kissinger
"If absolute power corrupts absolutely, does absolute powerlessness make you pure?" - Harry Shearer
"Don't worry about the world coming to an end today. It's already tomorrow in Australia." - Charles Schultz
"An expert is a person who has made all the mistakes that can be made in a very narrow field." - Niels Bohr
"Anyone can do any amount of work provided it isn't the work he is supposed to be doing at the moment." - Robert Benchley
"Every morning, I get up and look through the 'Forbes' list of the richest people in America. If I'm not there, I go to work." - Robert Orben
Monday, 31. March 2008, 12:04:50
life, time, lessons
Every so often, I’m faced with an undeniable urge to commit my thoughts to paper; this is one of those occasions.
I’ve heard that you shouldn’t tell people about your problems, because eighty percent don’t care and the other twenty percent are glad you have them. While this is an extremely jaded point of view (and a bit too cynical, even for me), it’s still somewhat accurate, in my opinion. Thus, I will do my best to eschew any excessive allusions to personal issues in this particular blog post.
There are two reasons for this course of action: One, I have a fair amount of mental "sorting and filing" to do before I can put much of what I’d like to say into coherently structured sentences. Two, I’m confident that most of the people who end up reading this post will be aware of alternate means for contacting yours truly, so if for some reason you really want to know more, well, I’m not quite as hard to get in contact with as I used to be.
You know something? Forget all that. Blogging is narcissism, pure and simple; why fight it? Actually, I just want to say one or two things and then I’ll let you go, I promise. So now that I’ve rambled on about nothing in particular for far too long, let us dispense with the preliminary pleasantries and get down to business.
Whilst the month of March fades to reveal springtime showers and, most likely, an alarming resurgence of insect life, I find myself wishing the best for my friends and family (and yours truly, of course...sorry), as well as reflecting upon events both current and recent. When I was a little younger, back when I still thought I was invincible, I rather ignorantly assumed that I had a decent understanding of life and its complexities. Years later, I realize more every day just how wrong I was.
Ah, well. In any case, I firmly believe - in fact, I have to believe - that there is no such thing as "wasted time" as long as you manage to learn a lesson or two from a given experience (and APPLY said lesson; that’s where it gets tricky for me). Whether I end up gaining knowledge about my own personality or humanity in general, the important thing is that I pick up something useful along the way.
With everything that life throws at us on a daily basis, it can be easy to get overwhelmed, depressed or burned-out, and sometimes one might neglect to show the proper amount of appreciation to the friends and family members in one’s life. Allowing this to happen, however innocently, will certainly result in waves of self-doubt and regret, two emotions with which I am very familiar - but in my defense, "hey, I’m only human." At all times I will attempt to do what I think is best, and that is really all I can do. I’m fully prepared to deal with the consequences of my decisions and actions, and I am not afraid of looking in the mirror.
My point is that I’m not the kind of guy who says, "I have no regrets;" honestly, I don’t see how anyone can say that, but to each his own. Instead, I’m the kind of guy who says, "I have many regrets, but they are an important part of me, just like my sense of humor or my taste in music. They are engraved upon my soul, and will not be released until I'm in the ground." Heavy stuff, huh?
I’m reminded of the chorus from a Nothingface song (you knew it was coming, didn’t you?), "Dead Like Me," to be exact:
"I realize
Time’s ticking by
Change what I am
This way I feel it
Like me now
Like you now
Like me now."
Good song, by the way; you should check it out. Perhaps a tad cryptic in spots, but I enjoy it when the artist leaves room for interpretation. Anyhow, I’d like to switch topics one more time before hitting the road; it’s just that I’m having trouble coming up with an effective segue - though come to think of it, I suppose this sentence would work nicely.
Spring can be considered a season of new beginnings and drastic changes, but it may also be viewed as a sort of reward for making it through the cold, dark, seemingly endless winter months. For me, this year at least, it’s a little from both columns. As I wait for the rain to fall, I sit and ponder my life so far and the choices I’ve made. Where will I be in five years? Even I don’t know. Alive, hopefully - but regardless of what happens next, I will live with a renewed vigor and a zest for life that has been sorely lacking for a long time.
I thank you for reading, and hope to hear from you soon.
- John
Wednesday, 26. March 2008, 06:38:59
notable, quotations, aphorisms
"Life is the sum of all your choices." - Albert Camus
"Hope is the physician of each misery." - Irish Proverb
"Nothing is as simple as we hope it will be." - Jim Horning
"If you don't risk anything, you risk even more." - Erica Jong
"Words are the physicians of a mind diseased." - Aeschylus
"Strong reasons make strong actions." - William Shakespeare
"A goal without a plan is just a wish." - Antoine de Saint-Exupery
"Energy and persistence conquer all things." - Benjamin Franklin
"I know how men in exile feed on dreams of hope." - Aeschylus
"Always laugh when you can. It is cheap medicine." - Lord Byron
"Be careful how you interpret the world: It is like that." - Erich Heller
"The strongest principle of growth lies in human choice." - George Eliot
"Beware lest you lose the substance by grasping at the shadow." - Aesop
"Courage is the price that Life exacts for granting peace." - Amelia Earhart
"People only see what they are prepared to see." - Ralph Waldo Emerson
"Change your thoughts and you change your world." - Norman Vincent Peale
"Nothing is a waste of time if you use the experience wisely." - Auguste Rodin
"The only difference between a rut and a grave is their dimensions." - Ellen Glasgow
"The price of anything is the amount of life you exchange for it." - Henry David Thoreau
"In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life. It goes on." - Robert Frost
"Take care of the minutes, for the hours will take care of themselves." - Lord Chesterfield
"Quotations will tell the full measure of meaning, if you have enough of them." - James Murray
"They always say time changes things, but you actually have to change them yourself." - Andy Warhol
"Man cannot remake himself without suffering, for he is both the marble and the sculptor." - Dr. Alexis Carrel
"No matter where you go or what you do, you live your entire life within the confines of your head." - Terry Josephson
Tuesday, 11. March 2008, 15:05:17
opinion, obsessive, dedication
Greetings! I hope you are well. Today we find ourselves expanding upon the topic of my intense (some would say obsessive) devotion and dedication to the Washington, D.C.-based metal/rock band Nothingface. This communique was written and is intended to be read in a slightly tongue-in-cheek manner and, as usual, may contain an overabundance of cliches and/or breathless superlatives. Now, on to business:
I'm inclined to believe that you (yes, you) ought to check out the CDs "Pacifier," "An Audio Guide to Everyday Atrocity," "Violence" and "Skeletons" by Nothingface as soon as possible, if you have not already done so. In fact, why not just go out and buy 'em all? That's what I did!
Actually, I first owned - and loved - "Violence" shortly after it came out in September of 2000, thanks to a friend of mine who always had an ear for good music. We later went to see Nothingface play in our hometown - I believe they were touring in support of the new CD - and were literally amazed by their performance. I'll never forget that show and the tremendous impact it had on me; seeing the band play live only cemented my dedication to their unique and complex style of music.
Since placing all four of their CDs into regular rotation, I have slowly explored and fallen in love with nearly every song on every album. I listen to Nothingface on a daily basis and have for quite some time; their music has gotten me through many a tough spot. Even "Violence" sounds better and more relevant than it did in my high school days, though that could be due in part to the mind's natural amplification (or abridgement) of memory.
If I had to sum it up in a short sentence, I don't think I could. Or maybe I just did...Seriously, it's very difficult to explain the emotionally and intellectually stimulating effect that a given Nothingface song or CD has on my brain. I suppose that as musicians, they are simply tuned into my particular wavelength - or I into theirs, as it were.
To paraphrase the author of NothingfaceLive.com (whose work I fear may soon be lost), take these four albums with you through life as I and others have, and remember to share them with anyone who has an appreciation for fine, passionate music.
Keep in mind that Nothingface combines many elements to produce their sometimes haunting, sometimes disturbing sound. They are quite unlike any other band and should be approached accordingly. On that same note, each album varies from the next in terms of everything from sound quality to music/vocals ratio. Taste is a matter of personal preference, and some may not be able to enjoy the music of Nothingface on the same level as others.
Now that you know all of this, your destiny is clear: you must pass this message along to the downtrodden, the distressed, the anguished and the aggrieved - or as Nothingface themselves affectionately refer to their fans, "The Sick."
Thank you for reading.
- John
Monday, 10. March 2008, 07:10:07
incarnadine, skies, language
(Compiled from various sources)
Incarnadine, \
in-KAR-nuh-dyn\, adjective:
1. Having a fleshy pink color.
2. Red; blood-red; of a general red color.
Transitive verb:
1. To make red or crimson - "to make incarnadine," especially to redden.
From Italian
incarnatino, which came from the Latin
incarnato, something
incarnate, made flesh, from
in +
caro,
carn-, "flesh." It is related to
carnation, etymologically the flesh-colored flower;
incarnate, "in the flesh; made flesh"; and
carnal, "pertaining to the body or its appetites."
"You'll...calmly wash those hands incarnadine." - Lord Byron, "Marino Faliero"
"Repose had again incarnadined her cheeks." - Thomas Hardy, "Far from the Madding Crowd"
"The more he scrubbed it, the more it bled. It made the seas incarnadine, he said." - Judy Driscoll, "Biddy takes pink gin to the country dance," Hecate, May 1, 1993
"'Wine! Wine! Wine!/Red wine!' - the Nightingale cries to the Rose/That yellow cheek of hers to incarnadine." - Edward FitzGerald, "The Rubaiyat of Omar Khayyam"
"Captain Dobo opened the castle's wine cellars and broke open the casks for his men, who greeted the sultan's soldiers without first politely wiping the incarnadine wine from their blood-red lips and bearded chins." - Kevin Keating, "Kilroy Was Here!," International Travel News, October 1, 2001
Sunday, 9. March 2008, 04:53:47
nonsense, work, observations
No, not that kind of rave. Do they even have those anymore, or was that just a '90s thing?
Well, I'm glad you decided to stop by. As a special bonus, just for you, tonight's "random thoughts" will be my very own! Yes, there will be little of that copied-and-pasted nonsense which seems to dominate the majority of my posts. Let's not beat around the bush: I'm a little scared, and I know you are too. Just remember, they're only words, and words can never hurt anyone. Ever! Besides, words don't kill people; the government does.
So anyhow, St. Patrick's Day is coming up...when I was younger, my grandmother (on my mom's side) used to make corned beef and cabbage, a traditional Irish dish, every March 17th without fail. Little did I know that in the future, I would discover even more creative ways of inducing nausea and vomiting on St. Patty's Day.
Thankfully, despite also being of Scottish descent, I have never been faced with the task of eating haggis. Nothing like a steaming plateful of sheep intestines...ach! This year, March 17th means little to me, as I will be working through the night - a pity, but considering what happened on Halloween '07 (definitely a story for another time), perhaps not all bad.
You know, I'd really like to grow a beard (or at least a goatee) again, but my job prevents me from doing so. I guess I'm stuck with the pork chops for now - at least I can still make lame "third-degree sideburn" jokes. I need to get out more...
Undoubtedly you've seen those crazy Chuck Norris sayings floating around the Web, such as "Chuck Norris can divide by zero" and my favorite, "Years ago, someone had the idea to sell Chuck Norris' urine as a beverage. Today, we know this drink as Red Bull." What's up with that? I mean, who sits around and comes up with those things? Well, whoever it is, I'm glad they take the time to do so.
Ahh, Daylight Saving (or "Savings") Time - you never fail to sneak up from behind and leave me in a dazed pile on the floor. I don't always get much sleep during the work week to begin with, so having to set my clocks forward an hour before going to bed can really wreak havoc the following day. I assume you can sympathize; regardless, while I'm not looking forward to tomorrow, I'm sure I'll live.
Of course, I certainly hope that all of you, my true-blue buddies, can say the same. It's best if I take my leave for now, but in parting, please know that your time and consideration are very much appreciated. Thanks for reading, and have a great day!
There will be more...much more...
- John
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