Recently liberated from the shackles of self-confinement
Monday, 21. April 2008, 20:29:33
Does that title make sense to anyone? Probably not; I'll try to explain it later, when I have more time - or maybe I'll just wait a while in the hope that you'll eventually forget about it. For the time being, I'd like to ramble on about a subject very near and dear to my heart (can you guess which one)? Yes, it's yours truly; sorry if you were hoping for something interesting, but that's really your fault for coming here in the first place. Just kidding...
As for me, well, I'm not a bad guy, if I do say so myself - though quite possibly just a tad self-absorbed at times. You know that whole "two sides of the coin" thing? Yeah, that's pretty much me to a T. I live my life in a somewhat different way than you might expect of someone with my upbringing and background. Though I'm proud to say I make my own choices (and am fully aware of the levels of accountability involved), the beliefs and principles with which I was ingrained as a child continue to hold sway over my actions - not a bad thing, but definitely a source of internal conflict.
At the very least, my early experiences with spirituality kicked my conscience into a higher gear (temporarily, anyway), to the point where, to paraphrase Mick Foley in his autobiography, "I carried around enough guilt to start my own religion." Apologies to all concerned if that comes across as slightly blasphemous - certainly not my intent.
All I'm saying is, I have slowly and painfully discovered over the years that rationalization and justification (the two gifts man gives himself, remember) will only get you so far. The ever-present shadow of a looming guilt pang is enough to prevent me from doing most of the things I probably shouldn't be doing...but not everything.
I am sure that many of you can sympathize, as we (and I'm speaking in very general terms here) are raised to adhere to the practices of various religions, then turned loose into a frighteningly unstable world which is rife with incredible temptation and fraught with unimaginable personal peril. Though to be fair, I suppose that's just the way things are, and have been for a long time indeed.
No one ever promised that life would be easy, but with precious few "good examples" to be found in popular culture or politics, and in an existence where routine and stability do not necessarily coincide, how does one know what to believe in, or even how to feel? Are these questions that each individual must answer for him or herself? Should I silence my prattling and just get over myself already?
These are issues that weigh very heavily on my mind, but I try hard not to let them affect my day-to-day life in a disproportionate manner. "If life is a buffet, I'm just trying to sample as much of it as I can before it closes;" this admittedly juvenile philosophy has actually become a source of inspiration (and no, I'm not going to make any "soul comfort food" jokes).
After a quarter-century of trying to comprehend and master the various nuances of the human experience, I find that while I have more questions than ever, I seem to finally be getting closer to some of the answers. Of course, I still have a long way to go, as I suspect most people might be inclined to admit. Perhaps when I get a little older, it will all make sense to me. I'm sure of it.
Thanks for reading...
- John
As for me, well, I'm not a bad guy, if I do say so myself - though quite possibly just a tad self-absorbed at times. You know that whole "two sides of the coin" thing? Yeah, that's pretty much me to a T. I live my life in a somewhat different way than you might expect of someone with my upbringing and background. Though I'm proud to say I make my own choices (and am fully aware of the levels of accountability involved), the beliefs and principles with which I was ingrained as a child continue to hold sway over my actions - not a bad thing, but definitely a source of internal conflict.
At the very least, my early experiences with spirituality kicked my conscience into a higher gear (temporarily, anyway), to the point where, to paraphrase Mick Foley in his autobiography, "I carried around enough guilt to start my own religion." Apologies to all concerned if that comes across as slightly blasphemous - certainly not my intent.
All I'm saying is, I have slowly and painfully discovered over the years that rationalization and justification (the two gifts man gives himself, remember) will only get you so far. The ever-present shadow of a looming guilt pang is enough to prevent me from doing most of the things I probably shouldn't be doing...but not everything.
I am sure that many of you can sympathize, as we (and I'm speaking in very general terms here) are raised to adhere to the practices of various religions, then turned loose into a frighteningly unstable world which is rife with incredible temptation and fraught with unimaginable personal peril. Though to be fair, I suppose that's just the way things are, and have been for a long time indeed.
No one ever promised that life would be easy, but with precious few "good examples" to be found in popular culture or politics, and in an existence where routine and stability do not necessarily coincide, how does one know what to believe in, or even how to feel? Are these questions that each individual must answer for him or herself? Should I silence my prattling and just get over myself already?
These are issues that weigh very heavily on my mind, but I try hard not to let them affect my day-to-day life in a disproportionate manner. "If life is a buffet, I'm just trying to sample as much of it as I can before it closes;" this admittedly juvenile philosophy has actually become a source of inspiration (and no, I'm not going to make any "soul comfort food" jokes).
After a quarter-century of trying to comprehend and master the various nuances of the human experience, I find that while I have more questions than ever, I seem to finally be getting closer to some of the answers. Of course, I still have a long way to go, as I suspect most people might be inclined to admit. Perhaps when I get a little older, it will all make sense to me. I'm sure of it.
Thanks for reading...
- John
