Incarnadine

Yes, it's quote time once again. Forgive me...

"Thought and being are the same." - Parmenides

"Confine yourself to the present." - Marcus Aurelius

"Nothing is more real than nothing." - Samuel Beckett

"Every clarification breeds new questions." - Arthur Bloch

"Man knows much more than he understands." - Alfred Adler

"Our expenses are all for conformity." - Ralph Waldo Emerson

"Reality, if rightly interpreted, is grander than fiction." - Thomas Carlyle

"The intellect is always fooled by the heart." - François de La Rochefoucauld

"Never ignore a gut feeling, but never believe that it's enough." - Robert Heller

"By asking for the impossible, we obtain the best possible." - Giovanni Niccolini

"Most folks are about as happy as they make up their minds to be." - Abraham Lincoln

"There is no cure for birth and death save to enjoy the interval." - George Santayana

"Grab a chance and you won't be sorry for a might have been." - Arthur Mitchell Ransome

"Listen to life, and you will hear the voice of life crying, Be!" - James Dillet Freeman

"Make the most of your regrets; to regret deeply is to live afresh." - Henry David Thoreau

"I may not be better than other people, but at least I'm different." - Jean-Jacques Rousseau

"Success is relative. It is what we can make of the mess we have made of things." - T. S. Eliot

"The soul without imagination is what an observatory would be without a telescope." - Henry Ward Beecher

"The first need of being is endurance; to endure with gladness if we can, with fortitude in any event." - Bliss Carman

"You must learn from the mistakes of others. You can't possibly live long enough to make them all yourself." - Sam Levenson

"The subconscious is ceaselessly murmuring, and it is by listening to these murmurs that one hears the truth." - Gaston Bachelard

"There is one thing certain, namely, that we can have nothing certain; therefore it is not certain that we can have nothing certain." - Samuel Butler

"Words are made for a certain exactness of thought, as tears are for a certain degree of pain. What is least distinct cannot be named; what is clearest is unutterable." - René Daumal

"Still on it creeps; Each little moment at another's heels; Till hours, days, years, and ages are made up of such small parts as these, and men look back Worn and bewilder'd, wondering how it is." - Joanna Baillie

If I may, I'd like to begin today's proceedings by addressing the impending holiday. Essentially, I just want to say a few words about my beloved mother - words that she certainly doesn't hear from me as often as she should (I rather suspect that more than a few mothers out there can identify).

It took many years before I was able to even partially grasp what my mom - and my dad, who has been continually supportive and steadfastly reliable - had to sacrifice and set aside in order to raise children. It also goes without saying that I am eternally grateful for my parents' willingness to put so much time and energy into their kids.

My mom is a great example of what anyone can do if she puts her mind to it. A highly intelligent woman of great accomplishments, she chooses not to bask in reflected glory but instead humbly spends her free time helping disadvantaged children or spearheading progress in local political matters. She is an amalgamation of true grit and true class, projecting a caring and optimistic attitude even in the midst of physical or emotional pain.

I've heard it said that no present you give your mother can possibly equal the gift she has bestowed upon you. A touching sentiment, to be sure, and one that I unquestionably agree with. Of course, this doesn't mean we shouldn't try...so Mom, I just wanted to tell you how much I appreciate all that you've done for me. I'm pretty sure that raising me wasn't exactly a picnic, and I thank you for showing me how to be ambitious, courageous, compassionate, responsible, patient, loyal and loving all at the same time. The following quotes will hopefully serve to further sum up my feelings:

"A mother understands what a child does not say." - Jewish proverb

"Mother - that was the bank where we deposited all our hurts and worries." - T. DeWitt Talmage

"My mother had a great deal of trouble with me, but I think she enjoyed it." - Mark Twain

"I remember my mother's prayers and they have always followed me. They have clung to me all my life." - Abraham Lincoln

Thanks for everything, Mom. I'll see you soon...

Now, moving on to other matters, how about a status report from yours truly? (Just in case you really are that bored).

Though I've been in a perpetual state of shock since realizing that it's already May and the year is close to being halfway over, I've managed to keep my wits about me, for now. The heretofore largely untapped and unharnessed "power of positive thinking" has become a dependable source of inspiration in recent weeks. Don't get me wrong, it's not that I was unable to think positively before - I simply wasn't utilizing this celebrated technique in such a dedicated manner. I guess you could say something finally "clicked" for me.

In truth, I consider myself to be a realist; therefore my dreams and expectations are often tempered by a dose of cynicism and (in theory, anyway) common sense. As I've detailed in this blog before, I used to be what you'd call a "big-picture" person, but that simply became too stressful after a while. Allow me to explain: If I spend an inordinate amount of time looking at the big picture, I have a vexing tendency to ignore the "periphery" of human existence. As I see it, life is constructed almost exclusively from those little moments that you're never quite ready for - and I was missing out on a lot of them.

So I switched to a philosophy of "just taking it day-by-day," or to further simplify things, "taking it easy." This, combined with a newfound sense of freedom, has enabled me to remain upbeat and focused even if a particular situation isn't going as well as I would have hoped. I'm at a point in my life right now where I seem to be learning new things about myself every day, and I have to tell you, it feels great.

I'm honestly not trying to brag - there are several cans of worms I could easily open, but I'll kindly spare you the discomfort. Once again, it comes back to staying positive and simply trying to enjoy my life as best I can. The only trap I'll have to watch out for is the potential for closing my eyes to the "big picture" entirely - but I am hoping that a keen awareness of my own mortality will keep me in check. I'll let you know how it goes.

As always, I thank you for reading, and if you've enjoyed today's post, please feel free to comment - because I can't get enough of that wonderful fluff. I wish you nothing but the best as we continue our journey toward the second half of 2008. Hope to hear from you soon...

- John

Every so often, I’m faced with an undeniable urge to commit my thoughts to paper; this is one of those occasions.

I’ve heard that you shouldn’t tell people about your problems, because eighty percent don’t care and the other twenty percent are glad you have them. While this is an extremely jaded point of view (and a bit too cynical, even for me), it’s still somewhat accurate, in my opinion. Thus, I will do my best to eschew any excessive allusions to personal issues in this particular blog post.

There are two reasons for this course of action: One, I have a fair amount of mental "sorting and filing" to do before I can put much of what I’d like to say into coherently structured sentences. Two, I’m confident that most of the people who end up reading this post will be aware of alternate means for contacting yours truly, so if for some reason you really want to know more, well, I’m not quite as hard to get in contact with as I used to be.

You know something? Forget all that. Blogging is narcissism, pure and simple; why fight it? Actually, I just want to say one or two things and then I’ll let you go, I promise. So now that I’ve rambled on about nothing in particular for far too long, let us dispense with the preliminary pleasantries and get down to business.

Whilst the month of March fades to reveal springtime showers and, most likely, an alarming resurgence of insect life, I find myself wishing the best for my friends and family (and yours truly, of course...sorry), as well as reflecting upon events both current and recent. When I was a little younger, back when I still thought I was invincible, I rather ignorantly assumed that I had a decent understanding of life and its complexities. Years later, I realize more every day just how wrong I was.

Ah, well. In any case, I firmly believe - in fact, I have to believe - that there is no such thing as "wasted time" as long as you manage to learn a lesson or two from a given experience (and APPLY said lesson; that’s where it gets tricky for me). Whether I end up gaining knowledge about my own personality or humanity in general, the important thing is that I pick up something useful along the way.

With everything that life throws at us on a daily basis, it can be easy to get overwhelmed, depressed or burned-out, and sometimes one might neglect to show the proper amount of appreciation to the friends and family members in one’s life. Allowing this to happen, however innocently, will certainly result in waves of self-doubt and regret, two emotions with which I am very familiar - but in my defense, "hey, I’m only human." At all times I will attempt to do what I think is best, and that is really all I can do. I’m fully prepared to deal with the consequences of my decisions and actions, and I am not afraid of looking in the mirror.

My point is that I’m not the kind of guy who says, "I have no regrets;" honestly, I don’t see how anyone can say that, but to each his own. Instead, I’m the kind of guy who says, "I have many regrets, but they are an important part of me, just like my sense of humor or my taste in music. They are engraved upon my soul, and will not be released until I'm in the ground." Heavy stuff, huh?

I’m reminded of the chorus from a Nothingface song (you knew it was coming, didn’t you?), "Dead Like Me," to be exact:

"I realize
Time’s ticking by
Change what I am
This way I feel it
Like me now
Like you now
Like me now."

Good song, by the way; you should check it out. Perhaps a tad cryptic in spots, but I enjoy it when the artist leaves room for interpretation. Anyhow, I’d like to switch topics one more time before hitting the road; it’s just that I’m having trouble coming up with an effective segue - though come to think of it, I suppose this sentence would work nicely.

Spring can be considered a season of new beginnings and drastic changes, but it may also be viewed as a sort of reward for making it through the cold, dark, seemingly endless winter months. For me, this year at least, it’s a little from both columns. As I wait for the rain to fall, I sit and ponder my life so far and the choices I’ve made. Where will I be in five years? Even I don’t know. Alive, hopefully - but regardless of what happens next, I will live with a renewed vigor and a zest for life that has been sorely lacking for a long time.

I thank you for reading, and hope to hear from you soon.

- John