Incarnadine

No, not that kind of rave. Do they even have those anymore, or was that just a '90s thing?

Well, I'm glad you decided to stop by. As a special bonus, just for you, tonight's "random thoughts" will be my very own! Yes, there will be little of that copied-and-pasted nonsense which seems to dominate the majority of my posts. Let's not beat around the bush: I'm a little scared, and I know you are too. Just remember, they're only words, and words can never hurt anyone. Ever! Besides, words don't kill people; the government does.

So anyhow, St. Patrick's Day is coming up...when I was younger, my grandmother (on my mom's side) used to make corned beef and cabbage, a traditional Irish dish, every March 17th without fail. Little did I know that in the future, I would discover even more creative ways of inducing nausea and vomiting on St. Patty's Day.

Thankfully, despite also being of Scottish descent, I have never been faced with the task of eating haggis. Nothing like a steaming plateful of sheep intestines...ach! This year, March 17th means little to me, as I will be working through the night - a pity, but considering what happened on Halloween '07 (definitely a story for another time), perhaps not all bad.

You know, I'd really like to grow a beard (or at least a goatee) again, but my job prevents me from doing so. I guess I'm stuck with the pork chops for now - at least I can still make lame "third-degree sideburn" jokes. I need to get out more...

Undoubtedly you've seen those crazy Chuck Norris sayings floating around the Web, such as "Chuck Norris can divide by zero" and my favorite, "Years ago, someone had the idea to sell Chuck Norris' urine as a beverage. Today, we know this drink as Red Bull." What's up with that? I mean, who sits around and comes up with those things? Well, whoever it is, I'm glad they take the time to do so.

Ahh, Daylight Saving (or "Savings") Time - you never fail to sneak up from behind and leave me in a dazed pile on the floor. I don't always get much sleep during the work week to begin with, so having to set my clocks forward an hour before going to bed can really wreak havoc the following day. I assume you can sympathize; regardless, while I'm not looking forward to tomorrow, I'm sure I'll live.

Of course, I certainly hope that all of you, my true-blue buddies, can say the same. It's best if I take my leave for now, but in parting, please know that your time and consideration are very much appreciated. Thanks for reading, and have a great day!

There will be more...much more...

- John