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Personal Bits & Pieces

From the Mind of Me

Trip to Alps, a metaphysical journey

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For those who live in the UK, or Switzerland, or even France herself, my trip to the Alps may be "nothing much," or simply a weekend get away. For one, such as myself, living in Los Angeles, California, USA, it's a big deal. This will be the first time in many years that I've been back to the UK or the continent, and I am ecstatic. I'm also realizing what this trip means.

I wanted to say that this trip has done something to my consciousness, but, it's my consciousness that has changed to create this trip. The change is internal, the trip is the out picturing of my idea. The trip began with my friend inviting me to visit him while the concert tour he's on is between concerts. The most time in between gigs is between Birmingham then Manchester, UK. That then is my entry point.

It's from there that my personal expansion has simply exploded. The evolution of my consciousness came from the thought that if I'm over in the UK around the 28th of December, it would be stupid to NOT spend New Years either in London or Paris (or some other cool place). After all, one of my contexts is that I live in Los Angeles. I've lived here now the longest I've lived anyplace, including childhood.

While I'm sure that LA has great things going on for New Years, in my mind, it wouldn't match the being over in London or Paris for a new beginning. I hemmed and hawed at the decision of what to do after seeing my friend. My lack of decision making told me I wasn't clear. A decision after all, will be clear, and actions will follow, but not if the decision is still a sense being created, in its pre decision form of pondering, wondering or figuring things out.

Then I had a conversation with someone and the conversation turned to snow skiing, which I hadn't done for years and really couldn't relate to his current love of skiing. That conversation ended, but it was that conversation that kept coming into my consciousness. Over and over, the thoughts kept coming from within asking if I should go skiing. Skiing...Skiing. That's kinda "crazy" isn't it? The Swiss Alps? Ski the Swiss Alps? France, oh I love France. The French Alps? The French Alps? Can I? Skiing? Oh, this is crazy. I haven't done that in YEARS. Ski the French Alps? Are you kidding? I don't even like the cold!

These thoughts kept coming when finally I read an Essay by Ralph Waldo Emerson which clarified everything for me. The essay was CIRCLES. It talks about the expansion of ourselves in our own beings, how when we end one circle, necessarily, we must begin another. We must grow from within ourselves to a greater expression of ourselves. After reading this, and talking about it in a class, actually, I was clear.

Something inside of me was calling, like I had heard so many years before, a Calling that I should just do something. Now that Calling was calling me to go skiing. The Calling came in the form of persistent thinking about it and from out of nowhere. Recognizing that this was a larger part of me that was doing the Calling, that was speaking the message, that night after the class I took on Emerson, I called the hotel via SKYPE, and booked the hotel. The next day, I booked the train down to the Alps, two days ago, received the train tickets. The actions followed from the clarity that my Greater Self was the guide here. It was now clear.

This whole experience has been an evolvement in my consciousness. I realize also that this being a "big deal," doesn't mean that it is. As I continue to embody the idea, the concept, I expand inwards, into myself, into a deeper level of confidence and sense of self, I realize that this trip may not be so "crazy," after all, but could simply be my new "normal." So, while on the surface, I'm just going skiing. That's it. Look what this has all come from, though, it's come from an idea, and that's the real journey, the journey in my consciousness. The actual trip is the out picturing and the EXPERIENCE of the idea, and you can BET that I won't be thinking on this journey to the degree that I am here. I will be experiencing and living fully. After all, if I DARE to dream the last part of the Dream, and I'm genuinely not really attached to this, but I may be at an outdoor dance party at midnight at Courchevel 1850 on December 31st/January 1st, 2010.

Polarities

In this life, the human experience, the human life as we understand it, we have polarities. The metaphysician in me knows that polarities are of this Universe because that's just how this universe has to work. We have up, we have down. We have over here, we have over there. The big one, and it's where I believe most of us get mixed up a bit, is the famous, Right, and Wrong.

People get stuck in these polarities, these positions to such a degree that it cascades, wildly, uncontrollably into a loss of perspective. Suddenly, upon being entrenched in my new position (that may actually not BE my position, but the position of my father, my brother, my mother, or someone else), it becomes a we, or an us, and a them.

Then, from that entrenchment, I've lost. I haven't lost all of the Wes, as we are all together. I haven't even lost the Thems as they are, well, them, they are over there, of course (and by the way, they're wrong, that's why they're over there). What I've lost is my connection, my TRUE connection to the universe itself. I've forgotten that the thems...well, one of them used to be my friend, but, he's believing in another polarity, so he's no longer an us, used to be one of the us-es.

Stop the madness. You. I. We. Them. They. Are. All. Human. We are breathing, breath in (pause), breath out (shoulders down). What's it LIKE to breathe? To have this thing called our body, in which or around which, or through which, we call, "ourselves." We are on this planet, and what a cool planet to be on, not to say I know of another, and we are, most of the time for many, oh too many, feeling disconnected.

I don't matter. I don't exist in their eyes. I'm not this. I'm not that. Yes. You. Are. We are everything that we know ourselves to be, and what we don't know ourselves to be. We are the beauty that people tell us, and yes, we are the ugly that we never in the world thought we would ever do or be. We have a little of them, in us. They. Have. A. Little. Us. In them. We all are, and we all aren't. Now outside of the human scope of things, I'd proffer that these polarities, well, they don't exist. For for some unknown to me reason, which is accepted by me, we must have the duality of Polarity while we're here. This is why, in general, I don't get pissed off when someone cuts me off while I'm driving. Why? Because I KNOW that I cut people off myself. I see them, in me.

My control over this situation? My own thoughts. My own emotions. My own beliefs. My own actions. I cannot control the them...and I know that in the past I've oh-so-wanted to. Well they'd be better off if they did this. That may be. But that's for them. Not you. And this concludes my effervescent idea of the duality of our existence, so, signing off for the all of me that's present as I am now done writing this, it's time for dinner. I'm making spaghetti.

My Alps 2010 Trip

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What started as a "Hey do you want to hang for a couple of days in between gigs?" Has turned into a full blown adventure, a dream daring to be accomplished, a crazy making turn of events and an evolvement of a simple trip to visit my friend, to a deeper, more profound expression of myself.
December 2009
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