My OperaSECOND RESEARCH
Sunday, May 24, 2009 6:32:30 PM
hi to all viewers
recently I did a new research and It was about marriage
I sent a lot of Email to my friends all over the world
and ask them to write for me some Informations about this title in their country
at the first my Question was:
In the name of GOD
Hi dear.
I hope you have a lot of good time in your life.
For the second time I manage to do a new research in this site (BUSUU.com) from my friends all around the world.
This time the subject is {MARRIAGE},
I want to ask you to write me back and tell me about MARRIAGE in your country or city .
What’s your etiquette (or mores) about MARRIAGE?
This time I want to know, what do you do in your wedding ceremonies?
What kind of foods and drinks do you serve in your wedding ceremonies?
What do the couples (grooms and brides) do to amuse the guests?
What do the couples do after ceremony?
And a personal question I want to know, what did you do in your wedding ceremony? Was there any especial event in your wedding ceremony (if you are married)?
And at the end:
EXCUSE ME BECAUSE OF MY LONG REQUEST
AND TELL ME MY MISTAKES IN WRITTING AND GRAMMAR.
THANK'S AGAIN.
Sincerely,
JAMAL MASHAYEKHI
and for the second the answers:
Meli Switzerland:
Hi. Yes I have a good time, and you? I’m not married. (I’m only 16.5 years old.) I don’t know exactly the difference of the marriage in Switzerland to other countries. Here in Switzerland the church is not obligatory, but the civil registry office already. For food we eat at first, an aperitif (example sparkling wine, champagne and sometimes with snacks), then an appetizer (example: salads, soup, pastry.) then the main dish (example: steaks, French fries and veg.) After the main dish we eat the wedding cake (the cake is made with ice cream, meringue), some people eat after them a cheese plate. And then coffee with hard liquor. I have nothing against weddings, but I don’t want to marry, I haven’t a particular reason, and I don’t know exactly, why I don’t want to marry. (I know it sounds strange). That was no problem; it was a pleasure
I don’t see any mistakes, and I can’t speak English well. (We learn English in the school). My msn address is m-eli92@hotmail.com
Bye
Senorita Hammy England:
Well the thing is that I am not married and I have never been to a wedding so this is a little hard but what I think they drink just wine and alcohol. The entertainment is normally music and they tell jokes and things like that!
Caroline Scotland
Hello Jamal
Nice to hear from you. First of all, I don't have a messenger account, but would be happy to "chat" with you on busuu.
Weddings - in Scotland there are basically two different ways of getting married. There are religious ceremonies in churches and civil ceremonies, either in register offices or in any location that holds a certificate for hosting civil ceremonies, for example, hotels and restaurants. Couples can actually apply to get married on the top of a mountain, if they wish. Just before you reach the Scottish-English border there is a place called Gretna Green, where a lot of couples still go to get married. This is a famous Scottish location for a wedding, because in Scotland you are able to marry at 16 years old, without your parents' permission. However, in England you are only able to marry at 16 years old if you have your parents' permission. Therefore, a lot of English couples used to elope to marry at Gretna Green, because it was the first place after the border.
In the lead up time to a wedding there is usually the traditional "hen" and "stag" nights (which now seem to extend to a weekend) and the bride's mother usually hosts a "show of presents" which is normally attended by most of the invited female guests, so they may view the gifts that have been bestowed upon the couple.
Whichever type of wedding people opt for, it is usually followed by either an informal or formal reception. At a formal reception there is usually a toastmaster who arranges the bridal party (bride, groom, both sets of parents, best man and bridesmaids) into a welcoming party for all the guests. Your name is announced as you approach the bride and groom. You then sit down for a meal, which is usually of the bride and groom's choice, and can be any type of food, usually a starter, a main course and a dessert. Ladies who are wearing hats are expected to keep their hats on during the meal and should only remove them after the speeches. There are traditionally three speeches followed by three toasts, by the groom, the best man and the bride's father. This is normally followed by the cutting of the cake by the bride and groom. After this there is usually some kind of entertainment with music and the bride and groom usually take to the dance floor for their first dance as man and wife. They are then joined on the dance floor by the bride's father and the groom's mother, the groom's father and the bride's mother and then the best man and chief bridesmaid. Eventually everyone joins in the dancing. If there are to be evening reception guests only, there usually a buffet served in the evening. At some point in the evening the bride and groom usually change into their "going away" outfits and everyone gathers to see them off. The bride then stands with her back to the assembled guests and tosses her bridal bouquet backwards over her head. The female guest who catches the bouquet is traditionally said to be the next one to get married.
I have been married for over 26 years and our initial wedding was a civil ceremony attended only by ourselves and couple of witnesses, followed by a meal in a restaurant. Ten years after our original wedding we had our marriage blessed by the Catholic Church, prior to the baptism of our eldest child. We originally married in 1982 and celebrated our silver wedding (25 years) in 2007 with a large party in a hotel for family and friends.
Hope this information is of use to you.
Kind regards
Caroline
Claudia Germany:
Hello Jamal
You asked me for the MARRIAGE, do you mind wedding?
Ok, my wedding celebration was in a civil registry office, not in a church. The ceremony by a wedding in Germany is: in the first go the couple ( in front of) and the guest go into the room with the music from Mendelssohn - the wedding march. Then the grooms and brides say yes, change the wedding rings and the grooms give his brides a long kiss. When the couple wants to leave the room, the guests hold a band across the door and the couple must throw pennies (must to buy one’s way out). Sometimes the guests throw rice over the grooms and brides for many children. Then all are happy and the party can begin. After the party the couple go home and the grooms carry the brides over the doorsill. Then they have very beautiful wedding night.
I hope you can understand me and I could help you.
Many greetings
Claudia
Liubis Spain:
Dear friend.
In our wedding ceremony, it's something simple to us. Well, depending on the economy of people. In fact, we make a party with the family and invite some friends, take some pictures with the wedding dress and we dance a lot Cuban music, mainly, son, salsa and so on. For drink people like beer and Cuban Ron, we offer also cake, cold salad, sandwich maybe roast pork or any other dish. According to other countries it isn’t too expensive.
If you are Catholic you make the religious ceremony first, then the guest celebrate at home or rent a club.
I hope I can bring you some information.
Do you want to get marry with a Cuban girl???
Nice meeting you,
Liubis
Jacqueline New Zealand
Hi Jamal, my friend!
So nice to be in contact with you.
I would like to talk to you about marriage in New Zealand.
There are two common forms of marriage.
1. ; the couple take their vows in front of a minister of the church.
2 ; the couple take their vows in front of an appointed community official called the
"Justice of the peace"
each of which hold the same legal power to perform the marriage ceremony.
New Zealand as a young and small country is becoming more and more multicultural,
therefore we are seeing more and more of the traditions of other countries.
Kind regards
Jacqueline
Nicoll U.K:
Hello Jamal,
As promised an e-mail about marriage here in the U.K.
Weddings are still treated as a celebration and are held either in a church, a registry office or a venue such as a hotel. The registry office is used by people who do not wish to have a religious ceremony, as it is a legally recognized center. If the couple choose to marry in a hotel it must be allowed by the law to provide this service. Generally the couple themselves choose the ceremony and reception (wedding feast) they want. They pay for it and choose the gifts they want and give a list to their guest to choose from.
There are different etiquettes depending on where the ceremony is held. A church is much more formal, a registry office is still formal, but with a friendly atmosphere. A hotel based wedding is very much to the design of the couple.
If the couple choose a church or registry office wedding then the 'reception' as it is called is held elsewhere. A hotel wedding covers the ceremony and the reception. The food served varies from wedding to wedding, but most are held in a hotel or restaurant. Some couples choose to have a formal sit-down meal, with three or four courses. Popular food choices would be salmon, or chicken and a simple dessert. Lots of champagne is usually served to toast the couple. There is always a wedding cake, regardless of where the reception is held, it is usually a rich fruit cake, with white icing and layers called tiers, but that is a tradition that is on the decrease now, and couples choose whatever cake they prefer and want at their wedding.
There are toasts after the meal. Usually the 'best-man' a close friend of the groom makes a speech, often trying to embarrass the groom. The father of the bride also makes a speech and then the groom. More often now brides make a speech, but not always. At this point the couple give flowers to the mothers of the bride and groom and thank any bridesmaids or page-boys. After this the couple cut the cake, and then there is often a disco or dance or entertainment for the couple and their guests.
The couple often spend their first night together in a hotel on the first night before traveling on their honeymoon, and that is chosen and paid for by them. They leave before the rest of the guests, often with tin cans tied to the back of the car for luck. Confetti is thrown and this is when the bride throws her bouquet of flowers. Who ever catches it will be the next to marry, or so tradition says.
I hope this has given you an insight into marriage traditions in the U.K. I did get married, it was in a registry office with only my husband's family present. I had prepared a meal at our home and we did not have a honeymoon, and I had no flowers, we did have a cake though. I did not wear a white dress, just a simple dress with flowers on it. Sadly, my marriage did not last. I am divorced and I have a son who will soon be eight years old.
If you want to ask me any questions please reply to this e-mail or use the message service on busuu.
Take care and best wishes, Nicoll
Mithril Poland:
hi. So,in Poland wedding ceremony is rather very offical. First, bride and groom with all of invited guests go to the church for a mess.Then,on front of the church, guests can throw some rice or money (to give a happiness for the new way of life for the couple). And the longest part o wedding is a party in a restaurant for example. People dance, have fun-together:guests and the couple...Sometimes it lasts until the morning:)
Sory for mistakes and for a short notice,but I have taken part in not so much wedding ceremonies.
u.k
In my country a wedding can be very major or very minor. The groom and bride decide where they are going to get married, the priest, the decorations, the guests, after parties, brides maids and other things. They entertain the guests by having music, dancing, food and fun. Where i live you get to pick everything. like the dress you wear and the dresses that the brides maids wear. Normally weddings are very traditional and fancy but you are allowed to do whatever you want cause it is YOUR wedding. There isn’t a lot of rules so basically you are in charge or you can get a wedding planner or friends to help decide things. There isn’t really special events but then again things change. Everyone has a different wedding and different ideas. After the bride and groom get married they have this thing called a honeymoon. A honeymoon ios basiclly the first night you get married you go to a nice romantic place and relax and do what ever you want together.
Jacqueline New Zealand
Hello Jamal!
here is some more information about marriage in New Zealand.
Traditionally there are parties the night before the wedding to celebrate the last night of single life.
The ladies have a party for the bride to be which is called a "Hen" party.
The men have a party for the groom to be which is called a "Stag" party.
Usually the men think up pranks to play on their groom to be.
Sometimes these pranks get out of hand.
Yesterday I was shown a heavy chain attatched to a heavy concrete block which was made to be a "ball and chain" for one groom.
These men were going to a stag party last night and were trying to decide what prank to play.
One person suggested that they take the groom up to a local deer farm and paint him all over with the female scent.
Here is Petes' story: It had been raining for a few weeks and miraculously the day of the wedding was lovely and sunny.
Unfortunately Pete had been in the emergency surgery for some time the night before. He was in a lot of pain and barely able to move while he took his vows.
At the stag party his mates had tied him to a chair with a lot of Tape so that he could not move or escape.
What they were planning to do with Pete I do not know, but, four of them picked up the chair with Pete in and decided to run him outside.
At some point someone tripped and as a result the four of them fell and Pete [trapped of course] hurtled forward chair and all where his friends fell on top of him.
Pete sustained 6 broken ribs and his bride was not a happy lady!
The bride loved her wedding dress so much she was still wearing it the day after the wedding!
Here is Brents' story: It was a lovely wedding. Very successful and a happy time was being had by all. Brent and his new wife decided it would be ok to leave their reception and their friends as they had been invited to another wedding. Their friends had been married for 50 yrs and decided to have another wedding to renew their vows. [this is also common in New Zealand] Brent and his wife turned up in their full wedding regalia, the tuxedo and the beautiful dress. They danced the night away at someone elses wedding while their own guests carried on their party without the couple!
One more tradition I can think of right now is the "honeymoon"
This is a holiday usually taken straight after the wedding. This holiday represents what may be the last holiday together before children are born.
Some lucky people have an overseas holiday. Most people go away somewhere just to have some quiet time together.
I hope this is helpful. My email is jacqm@slingshot.co.nz
Have a great day!
kind regards
Jacqueline
Indonesia
Count yourself fortunate if you've had the opportunity to attend an Indonesian wedding. The fascinating wedding ceremonies and festivities give expatriates a unique opportunity to gain insight into Indonesian culture and social mores.
Given the broad diversity of ethnic groups in Indonesia, it stands to reason that wedding customs will reflect this diversity. Each ethnic group has different wedding dress and different marriage ceremonies and customs. Within ethnic groups, those of different religious backgrounds will have different practices as well.
As a expatriate living in Indonesia you may on occasion receive a wedding invitation. You may not know how to act, what to bring or what your role as a guest in the wedding should be. We'd like to outline what happens at most weddings in Indonesia to help prepare you. If in doubt, consult colleagues or friends that you know have been invited or ask colleagues or your secretary to determine what appropriate dress and gift would be.
Attendance is Important
One of the most important concepts at Indonesian weddings seems to be 'the more the merrier'. Literally every relative, acquaintance, colleague or business partner could be invited to the wedding. Joining a group of others that are invited, even if you did not receive an invitation personally addressed to you, is also okay (as long as it's not a sit down dinner -in which case the limit is clearly stated on the invitation).
Indonesians are truly honored by your attendance at a wedding. Attending shows that you care, that you respect the people involved and your relationship with them, that you honor the family and want to show your support of the newlyweds. Don't question the intent of colleagues or subordinates who, upon short acquaintance, invite you to their daughter's or son's wedding. They really do want you to come!
On the other hand, not responding to the invitation, or not attending can cause a significant insult and slight to the giver, which can cause problems in your relationship in the future. Having said that. You are not obligated to attend every wedding that you receive an invitation for.
The Invitation
Wedding invitations in Jakarta and other urban centers can be very extravagant. The date on the outside of the envelope is very practical if you receive many wedding invitations. In rural areas, the invitation is done via visits from the family to neighbors and friends.
The sincere welcome extended to guests is noted on the invitation with wording such as “Merupakan suatu kehormatan & kebahagiaan bagi kami apabila Bapak/Ibu/Saudara/i berkenan hadir untuk memberikan doa restu kepada kedua mempelai” or “Tiada yang dapat kami ungkapkan selain ucapan terima kasih dari hati yang tulus atas kehairan serta pemberian do. a restu Bapak/Ibu/Saudara/i kepada putra-putri kami”. Both of these phrases mean that you do the family great honor by attending and extending blessings upon the bride and groom.
On the invitation will be noted the date, time and place for the Akad Nikah, which is the actual wedding ceremony,as well as the Resepsi Pernikahan, which is the wedding reception. Even though both ceremonies are noted on the invitation, the majority of people will only attend the reception.
If you would like to attend the wedding ceremony, as this is when most of the cultural ceremonies take place, be sure to ask the person who gave you the invitation if this would be okay. They will probably say yes, but it's best to clear it first as usually a much smaller crowd or just close family members are expected to witness the actual exchange of marriage vows.
Appropriate Dress
For women, nice dresses, much as you would wear to a wedding at home. For men, a business suit or a long-sleeved batik shirt with slacks.
It would be appropriate to wear a long sleeved dress to a Muslim wedding reception. It is not necessary for an expatriate woman to cover her head, though many of the Indonesian attendees may do so.
The Gift
In the past (as in the mid-90s before the economic crisis), the grand, glorious, conspicuously extravagant weddings in Jakarta were gifted with large floral displays, which were placed outside the reception hall. Or, wedding guests brought a wide variety of household goods as gifts. In a large wedding, to which thousands of people may be invited, there would be many duplications of gifts. It would not be unusual at a very large wedding for the wedding couple to receive, for example, 15 blenders, 20 mixers, 10 toasters, 25 rice cookers, 5 refrigerators, 3 cars, etc.
Therefore, a relatively new practice arose in the mid-90s whereby the wedding couple asks the attendees not to bring gifts or floral displays by the inclusion of additional wording on the invitation “Dengan tidak mengurangi rasa hormat dan terima kasih, akan lebih bermanfaat seandainya ungkapan kasih sayang yang mungkin akan diberikan kepada kami tidak berupa cendera mata atau karangan bunga” or “Dengan tidak mengurangi rasa hormat kami, akan sangat berterima kasih apabila tanda kasih yang akan diberikan tidak berupa cenderamata atau karangan bunga”. This translates as, Without belittling your generosity, we'd appreciate it if you didn't give us flowers or a gift.
This is a nice way of asking for money instead of gifts. At the reception desk there will be a beautifully decorated box with a slit in the top into which you can insert an envelope with money. If you choose to give money and are uncertain of an appropriate amount to give, ask your secretary or Indonesian colleagues for their suggestions. Sometimes the hostesses will number your envelope as well as next to your signature in the guest book, so that the bride and groom know how much money you gave.
Having said this, you are not obligated to bring a gift to the wedding.
Thank You
Don't expect a thank you note after the wedding for your gift. In many weddings attendees are given a small token upon their arrival, a fan, key chain or other item. Attached to this item will be a thank you for your attendance.
Wedding Receptions
The difference in the income level of the individuals will, needless to say, have a great bearing on the extent of the wedding celebrations. Weddings in Jakarta range from simple meals in the family home, to small receptions in community centers to grand extravagant affairs in the Jakarta Convention Center or 5-star hotel ballrooms.
At most wedding receptions, the guests arrive, sign the guest book, accept their thank you token, deposit their gift and enter the reception hall.
The path into the reception hall will be flanked left and right with members of the extended families, often dressed in similar traditional dress. A smile and nod to some of these people would be appropriate. Following the family members may be young men and women holding a chain of flowers. This is called the pagar ayu or 'fence of beauty'.
If you arrive on time you will be able to witness the procession of the wedding couple into the reception hall. Depending on the wealth, social standing or ethnic group, this procession can be quite impressive. The bride and groom may be proceeded by dancers who give a traditional dance performance before the wedding couple goes on stage. Or the performance may come after the bride and groom are seated. The parents of the bride and groom and other senior family members will follow the couple in procession into the room.
Then come the speeches! A representative of each family will address the crowd to thank them for their attendance and to give long, complex expressions of regret if any arrangements for the reception are lacking or found wanting. Depending on whether or not you have one or two representatives speak (thank goodness at some weddings there is only one person representing both families), the speeches can take up to half an hour.
After the speeches, the guests are invited to come to the stage and shake the hands of the bride and groom and their parents. Depending on the number of guests this receiving line can go on for hours. Traditional music may be played throughout the reception.
After going through the receiving line, the guests are invited to eat. The feast can be quite extensive and is a good opportunity to try cuisine from different regions. It could be as simple as nasi goreng or bakmi goreng, ikan asem-manis to the more elaborate where there will be food stalls with sushi, tempura, kambing guling, dim sum, beef Wellington and other western dishes. Once the speeches are complete, it is also acceptable to eat first and then join the receiving line after your meal if the line is quite long.
When should you arrive and how long should you stay?
While some attendees will arrive early, the timing of your arrival should be determined by whether or not you want to see the procession and hear the speeches. If you do want to, you should come on time. If you. d rather miss the grand entrance and speeches, you can come 30-60 minutes after the time noted on the invitation. Then you can enter immediately into the reception hall, shake hands and proceed to the buffet tables.
The length of time you spend at the reception is entirely up to you. Many Indonesians may only stay 15-30 minutes to eat a small snack after shaking hands, especially if they have another invitation to attend that night. Some people can even have up to 5 or 6 wedding invitations for one evening! If you are enjoying the splendor and the food, know lots of the attendees and enjoy the chance to chat, stick around and enjoy yourself. If, on the other hand, you don't know anyone who is there, it is acceptable to shake hands, eat and leave promptly (SMP-sudah makan pulang-when you've finished eating you can go home. In a small wedding you will shake hands again before leaving.
Don't expect that alcohol will be served at the wedding reception or that there would be dancing , this is highly unlikely. Likewise, coming to a wedding after drinking would be considered very rude. Even if the groom is your drinking buddy, weddings are not an appropriate venue in which to be drunk.
recently I did a new research and It was about marriage
I sent a lot of Email to my friends all over the world
and ask them to write for me some Informations about this title in their country
at the first my Question was:
In the name of GOD
Hi dear.
I hope you have a lot of good time in your life.
For the second time I manage to do a new research in this site (BUSUU.com) from my friends all around the world.
This time the subject is {MARRIAGE},
I want to ask you to write me back and tell me about MARRIAGE in your country or city .
What’s your etiquette (or mores) about MARRIAGE?
This time I want to know, what do you do in your wedding ceremonies?
What kind of foods and drinks do you serve in your wedding ceremonies?
What do the couples (grooms and brides) do to amuse the guests?
What do the couples do after ceremony?
And a personal question I want to know, what did you do in your wedding ceremony? Was there any especial event in your wedding ceremony (if you are married)?
And at the end:
EXCUSE ME BECAUSE OF MY LONG REQUEST
AND TELL ME MY MISTAKES IN WRITTING AND GRAMMAR.
THANK'S AGAIN.
Sincerely,
JAMAL MASHAYEKHI
and for the second the answers:
Meli Switzerland:
Hi. Yes I have a good time, and you? I’m not married. (I’m only 16.5 years old.) I don’t know exactly the difference of the marriage in Switzerland to other countries. Here in Switzerland the church is not obligatory, but the civil registry office already. For food we eat at first, an aperitif (example sparkling wine, champagne and sometimes with snacks), then an appetizer (example: salads, soup, pastry.) then the main dish (example: steaks, French fries and veg.) After the main dish we eat the wedding cake (the cake is made with ice cream, meringue), some people eat after them a cheese plate. And then coffee with hard liquor. I have nothing against weddings, but I don’t want to marry, I haven’t a particular reason, and I don’t know exactly, why I don’t want to marry. (I know it sounds strange). That was no problem; it was a pleasure
I don’t see any mistakes, and I can’t speak English well. (We learn English in the school). My msn address is m-eli92@hotmail.comBye
Senorita Hammy England:
Well the thing is that I am not married and I have never been to a wedding so this is a little hard but what I think they drink just wine and alcohol. The entertainment is normally music and they tell jokes and things like that!
Caroline Scotland
Hello Jamal
Nice to hear from you. First of all, I don't have a messenger account, but would be happy to "chat" with you on busuu.
Weddings - in Scotland there are basically two different ways of getting married. There are religious ceremonies in churches and civil ceremonies, either in register offices or in any location that holds a certificate for hosting civil ceremonies, for example, hotels and restaurants. Couples can actually apply to get married on the top of a mountain, if they wish. Just before you reach the Scottish-English border there is a place called Gretna Green, where a lot of couples still go to get married. This is a famous Scottish location for a wedding, because in Scotland you are able to marry at 16 years old, without your parents' permission. However, in England you are only able to marry at 16 years old if you have your parents' permission. Therefore, a lot of English couples used to elope to marry at Gretna Green, because it was the first place after the border.
In the lead up time to a wedding there is usually the traditional "hen" and "stag" nights (which now seem to extend to a weekend) and the bride's mother usually hosts a "show of presents" which is normally attended by most of the invited female guests, so they may view the gifts that have been bestowed upon the couple.
Whichever type of wedding people opt for, it is usually followed by either an informal or formal reception. At a formal reception there is usually a toastmaster who arranges the bridal party (bride, groom, both sets of parents, best man and bridesmaids) into a welcoming party for all the guests. Your name is announced as you approach the bride and groom. You then sit down for a meal, which is usually of the bride and groom's choice, and can be any type of food, usually a starter, a main course and a dessert. Ladies who are wearing hats are expected to keep their hats on during the meal and should only remove them after the speeches. There are traditionally three speeches followed by three toasts, by the groom, the best man and the bride's father. This is normally followed by the cutting of the cake by the bride and groom. After this there is usually some kind of entertainment with music and the bride and groom usually take to the dance floor for their first dance as man and wife. They are then joined on the dance floor by the bride's father and the groom's mother, the groom's father and the bride's mother and then the best man and chief bridesmaid. Eventually everyone joins in the dancing. If there are to be evening reception guests only, there usually a buffet served in the evening. At some point in the evening the bride and groom usually change into their "going away" outfits and everyone gathers to see them off. The bride then stands with her back to the assembled guests and tosses her bridal bouquet backwards over her head. The female guest who catches the bouquet is traditionally said to be the next one to get married.
I have been married for over 26 years and our initial wedding was a civil ceremony attended only by ourselves and couple of witnesses, followed by a meal in a restaurant. Ten years after our original wedding we had our marriage blessed by the Catholic Church, prior to the baptism of our eldest child. We originally married in 1982 and celebrated our silver wedding (25 years) in 2007 with a large party in a hotel for family and friends.
Hope this information is of use to you.
Kind regards
Caroline
Claudia Germany:
Hello Jamal
You asked me for the MARRIAGE, do you mind wedding?
Ok, my wedding celebration was in a civil registry office, not in a church. The ceremony by a wedding in Germany is: in the first go the couple ( in front of) and the guest go into the room with the music from Mendelssohn - the wedding march. Then the grooms and brides say yes, change the wedding rings and the grooms give his brides a long kiss. When the couple wants to leave the room, the guests hold a band across the door and the couple must throw pennies (must to buy one’s way out). Sometimes the guests throw rice over the grooms and brides for many children. Then all are happy and the party can begin. After the party the couple go home and the grooms carry the brides over the doorsill. Then they have very beautiful wedding night.
I hope you can understand me and I could help you.
Many greetings
Claudia
Liubis Spain:
Dear friend.
In our wedding ceremony, it's something simple to us. Well, depending on the economy of people. In fact, we make a party with the family and invite some friends, take some pictures with the wedding dress and we dance a lot Cuban music, mainly, son, salsa and so on. For drink people like beer and Cuban Ron, we offer also cake, cold salad, sandwich maybe roast pork or any other dish. According to other countries it isn’t too expensive.
If you are Catholic you make the religious ceremony first, then the guest celebrate at home or rent a club.
I hope I can bring you some information.
Do you want to get marry with a Cuban girl???
Nice meeting you,
Liubis
Jacqueline New Zealand
Hi Jamal, my friend!
So nice to be in contact with you.
I would like to talk to you about marriage in New Zealand.
There are two common forms of marriage.
1. ; the couple take their vows in front of a minister of the church.
2 ; the couple take their vows in front of an appointed community official called the
"Justice of the peace"
each of which hold the same legal power to perform the marriage ceremony.
New Zealand as a young and small country is becoming more and more multicultural,
therefore we are seeing more and more of the traditions of other countries.
Kind regards
Jacqueline
Nicoll U.K:
Hello Jamal,
As promised an e-mail about marriage here in the U.K.
Weddings are still treated as a celebration and are held either in a church, a registry office or a venue such as a hotel. The registry office is used by people who do not wish to have a religious ceremony, as it is a legally recognized center. If the couple choose to marry in a hotel it must be allowed by the law to provide this service. Generally the couple themselves choose the ceremony and reception (wedding feast) they want. They pay for it and choose the gifts they want and give a list to their guest to choose from.
There are different etiquettes depending on where the ceremony is held. A church is much more formal, a registry office is still formal, but with a friendly atmosphere. A hotel based wedding is very much to the design of the couple.
If the couple choose a church or registry office wedding then the 'reception' as it is called is held elsewhere. A hotel wedding covers the ceremony and the reception. The food served varies from wedding to wedding, but most are held in a hotel or restaurant. Some couples choose to have a formal sit-down meal, with three or four courses. Popular food choices would be salmon, or chicken and a simple dessert. Lots of champagne is usually served to toast the couple. There is always a wedding cake, regardless of where the reception is held, it is usually a rich fruit cake, with white icing and layers called tiers, but that is a tradition that is on the decrease now, and couples choose whatever cake they prefer and want at their wedding.
There are toasts after the meal. Usually the 'best-man' a close friend of the groom makes a speech, often trying to embarrass the groom. The father of the bride also makes a speech and then the groom. More often now brides make a speech, but not always. At this point the couple give flowers to the mothers of the bride and groom and thank any bridesmaids or page-boys. After this the couple cut the cake, and then there is often a disco or dance or entertainment for the couple and their guests.
The couple often spend their first night together in a hotel on the first night before traveling on their honeymoon, and that is chosen and paid for by them. They leave before the rest of the guests, often with tin cans tied to the back of the car for luck. Confetti is thrown and this is when the bride throws her bouquet of flowers. Who ever catches it will be the next to marry, or so tradition says.
I hope this has given you an insight into marriage traditions in the U.K. I did get married, it was in a registry office with only my husband's family present. I had prepared a meal at our home and we did not have a honeymoon, and I had no flowers, we did have a cake though. I did not wear a white dress, just a simple dress with flowers on it. Sadly, my marriage did not last. I am divorced and I have a son who will soon be eight years old.
If you want to ask me any questions please reply to this e-mail or use the message service on busuu.
Take care and best wishes, Nicoll
Mithril Poland:
hi. So,in Poland wedding ceremony is rather very offical. First, bride and groom with all of invited guests go to the church for a mess.Then,on front of the church, guests can throw some rice or money (to give a happiness for the new way of life for the couple). And the longest part o wedding is a party in a restaurant for example. People dance, have fun-together:guests and the couple...Sometimes it lasts until the morning:)
Sory for mistakes and for a short notice,but I have taken part in not so much wedding ceremonies.
u.k
In my country a wedding can be very major or very minor. The groom and bride decide where they are going to get married, the priest, the decorations, the guests, after parties, brides maids and other things. They entertain the guests by having music, dancing, food and fun. Where i live you get to pick everything. like the dress you wear and the dresses that the brides maids wear. Normally weddings are very traditional and fancy but you are allowed to do whatever you want cause it is YOUR wedding. There isn’t a lot of rules so basically you are in charge or you can get a wedding planner or friends to help decide things. There isn’t really special events but then again things change. Everyone has a different wedding and different ideas. After the bride and groom get married they have this thing called a honeymoon. A honeymoon ios basiclly the first night you get married you go to a nice romantic place and relax and do what ever you want together.
Jacqueline New Zealand
Hello Jamal!
here is some more information about marriage in New Zealand.
Traditionally there are parties the night before the wedding to celebrate the last night of single life.
The ladies have a party for the bride to be which is called a "Hen" party.
The men have a party for the groom to be which is called a "Stag" party.
Usually the men think up pranks to play on their groom to be.
Sometimes these pranks get out of hand.
Yesterday I was shown a heavy chain attatched to a heavy concrete block which was made to be a "ball and chain" for one groom.
These men were going to a stag party last night and were trying to decide what prank to play.
One person suggested that they take the groom up to a local deer farm and paint him all over with the female scent.
Here is Petes' story: It had been raining for a few weeks and miraculously the day of the wedding was lovely and sunny.
Unfortunately Pete had been in the emergency surgery for some time the night before. He was in a lot of pain and barely able to move while he took his vows.
At the stag party his mates had tied him to a chair with a lot of Tape so that he could not move or escape.
What they were planning to do with Pete I do not know, but, four of them picked up the chair with Pete in and decided to run him outside.
At some point someone tripped and as a result the four of them fell and Pete [trapped of course] hurtled forward chair and all where his friends fell on top of him.
Pete sustained 6 broken ribs and his bride was not a happy lady!
The bride loved her wedding dress so much she was still wearing it the day after the wedding!
Here is Brents' story: It was a lovely wedding. Very successful and a happy time was being had by all. Brent and his new wife decided it would be ok to leave their reception and their friends as they had been invited to another wedding. Their friends had been married for 50 yrs and decided to have another wedding to renew their vows. [this is also common in New Zealand] Brent and his wife turned up in their full wedding regalia, the tuxedo and the beautiful dress. They danced the night away at someone elses wedding while their own guests carried on their party without the couple!
One more tradition I can think of right now is the "honeymoon"
This is a holiday usually taken straight after the wedding. This holiday represents what may be the last holiday together before children are born.
Some lucky people have an overseas holiday. Most people go away somewhere just to have some quiet time together.
I hope this is helpful. My email is jacqm@slingshot.co.nz
Have a great day!
kind regards
Jacqueline
Indonesia
Count yourself fortunate if you've had the opportunity to attend an Indonesian wedding. The fascinating wedding ceremonies and festivities give expatriates a unique opportunity to gain insight into Indonesian culture and social mores.
Given the broad diversity of ethnic groups in Indonesia, it stands to reason that wedding customs will reflect this diversity. Each ethnic group has different wedding dress and different marriage ceremonies and customs. Within ethnic groups, those of different religious backgrounds will have different practices as well.
As a expatriate living in Indonesia you may on occasion receive a wedding invitation. You may not know how to act, what to bring or what your role as a guest in the wedding should be. We'd like to outline what happens at most weddings in Indonesia to help prepare you. If in doubt, consult colleagues or friends that you know have been invited or ask colleagues or your secretary to determine what appropriate dress and gift would be.
Attendance is Important
One of the most important concepts at Indonesian weddings seems to be 'the more the merrier'. Literally every relative, acquaintance, colleague or business partner could be invited to the wedding. Joining a group of others that are invited, even if you did not receive an invitation personally addressed to you, is also okay (as long as it's not a sit down dinner -in which case the limit is clearly stated on the invitation).
Indonesians are truly honored by your attendance at a wedding. Attending shows that you care, that you respect the people involved and your relationship with them, that you honor the family and want to show your support of the newlyweds. Don't question the intent of colleagues or subordinates who, upon short acquaintance, invite you to their daughter's or son's wedding. They really do want you to come!
On the other hand, not responding to the invitation, or not attending can cause a significant insult and slight to the giver, which can cause problems in your relationship in the future. Having said that. You are not obligated to attend every wedding that you receive an invitation for.
The Invitation
Wedding invitations in Jakarta and other urban centers can be very extravagant. The date on the outside of the envelope is very practical if you receive many wedding invitations. In rural areas, the invitation is done via visits from the family to neighbors and friends.
The sincere welcome extended to guests is noted on the invitation with wording such as “Merupakan suatu kehormatan & kebahagiaan bagi kami apabila Bapak/Ibu/Saudara/i berkenan hadir untuk memberikan doa restu kepada kedua mempelai” or “Tiada yang dapat kami ungkapkan selain ucapan terima kasih dari hati yang tulus atas kehairan serta pemberian do. a restu Bapak/Ibu/Saudara/i kepada putra-putri kami”. Both of these phrases mean that you do the family great honor by attending and extending blessings upon the bride and groom.
On the invitation will be noted the date, time and place for the Akad Nikah, which is the actual wedding ceremony,as well as the Resepsi Pernikahan, which is the wedding reception. Even though both ceremonies are noted on the invitation, the majority of people will only attend the reception.
If you would like to attend the wedding ceremony, as this is when most of the cultural ceremonies take place, be sure to ask the person who gave you the invitation if this would be okay. They will probably say yes, but it's best to clear it first as usually a much smaller crowd or just close family members are expected to witness the actual exchange of marriage vows.
Appropriate Dress
For women, nice dresses, much as you would wear to a wedding at home. For men, a business suit or a long-sleeved batik shirt with slacks.
It would be appropriate to wear a long sleeved dress to a Muslim wedding reception. It is not necessary for an expatriate woman to cover her head, though many of the Indonesian attendees may do so.
The Gift
In the past (as in the mid-90s before the economic crisis), the grand, glorious, conspicuously extravagant weddings in Jakarta were gifted with large floral displays, which were placed outside the reception hall. Or, wedding guests brought a wide variety of household goods as gifts. In a large wedding, to which thousands of people may be invited, there would be many duplications of gifts. It would not be unusual at a very large wedding for the wedding couple to receive, for example, 15 blenders, 20 mixers, 10 toasters, 25 rice cookers, 5 refrigerators, 3 cars, etc.
Therefore, a relatively new practice arose in the mid-90s whereby the wedding couple asks the attendees not to bring gifts or floral displays by the inclusion of additional wording on the invitation “Dengan tidak mengurangi rasa hormat dan terima kasih, akan lebih bermanfaat seandainya ungkapan kasih sayang yang mungkin akan diberikan kepada kami tidak berupa cendera mata atau karangan bunga” or “Dengan tidak mengurangi rasa hormat kami, akan sangat berterima kasih apabila tanda kasih yang akan diberikan tidak berupa cenderamata atau karangan bunga”. This translates as, Without belittling your generosity, we'd appreciate it if you didn't give us flowers or a gift.
This is a nice way of asking for money instead of gifts. At the reception desk there will be a beautifully decorated box with a slit in the top into which you can insert an envelope with money. If you choose to give money and are uncertain of an appropriate amount to give, ask your secretary or Indonesian colleagues for their suggestions. Sometimes the hostesses will number your envelope as well as next to your signature in the guest book, so that the bride and groom know how much money you gave.
Having said this, you are not obligated to bring a gift to the wedding.
Thank You
Don't expect a thank you note after the wedding for your gift. In many weddings attendees are given a small token upon their arrival, a fan, key chain or other item. Attached to this item will be a thank you for your attendance.
Wedding Receptions
The difference in the income level of the individuals will, needless to say, have a great bearing on the extent of the wedding celebrations. Weddings in Jakarta range from simple meals in the family home, to small receptions in community centers to grand extravagant affairs in the Jakarta Convention Center or 5-star hotel ballrooms.
At most wedding receptions, the guests arrive, sign the guest book, accept their thank you token, deposit their gift and enter the reception hall.
The path into the reception hall will be flanked left and right with members of the extended families, often dressed in similar traditional dress. A smile and nod to some of these people would be appropriate. Following the family members may be young men and women holding a chain of flowers. This is called the pagar ayu or 'fence of beauty'.
If you arrive on time you will be able to witness the procession of the wedding couple into the reception hall. Depending on the wealth, social standing or ethnic group, this procession can be quite impressive. The bride and groom may be proceeded by dancers who give a traditional dance performance before the wedding couple goes on stage. Or the performance may come after the bride and groom are seated. The parents of the bride and groom and other senior family members will follow the couple in procession into the room.
Then come the speeches! A representative of each family will address the crowd to thank them for their attendance and to give long, complex expressions of regret if any arrangements for the reception are lacking or found wanting. Depending on whether or not you have one or two representatives speak (thank goodness at some weddings there is only one person representing both families), the speeches can take up to half an hour.
After the speeches, the guests are invited to come to the stage and shake the hands of the bride and groom and their parents. Depending on the number of guests this receiving line can go on for hours. Traditional music may be played throughout the reception.
After going through the receiving line, the guests are invited to eat. The feast can be quite extensive and is a good opportunity to try cuisine from different regions. It could be as simple as nasi goreng or bakmi goreng, ikan asem-manis to the more elaborate where there will be food stalls with sushi, tempura, kambing guling, dim sum, beef Wellington and other western dishes. Once the speeches are complete, it is also acceptable to eat first and then join the receiving line after your meal if the line is quite long.
When should you arrive and how long should you stay?
While some attendees will arrive early, the timing of your arrival should be determined by whether or not you want to see the procession and hear the speeches. If you do want to, you should come on time. If you. d rather miss the grand entrance and speeches, you can come 30-60 minutes after the time noted on the invitation. Then you can enter immediately into the reception hall, shake hands and proceed to the buffet tables.
The length of time you spend at the reception is entirely up to you. Many Indonesians may only stay 15-30 minutes to eat a small snack after shaking hands, especially if they have another invitation to attend that night. Some people can even have up to 5 or 6 wedding invitations for one evening! If you are enjoying the splendor and the food, know lots of the attendees and enjoy the chance to chat, stick around and enjoy yourself. If, on the other hand, you don't know anyone who is there, it is acceptable to shake hands, eat and leave promptly (SMP-sudah makan pulang-when you've finished eating you can go home
. In a small wedding you will shake hands again before leaving.Don't expect that alcohol will be served at the wedding reception or that there would be dancing , this is highly unlikely. Likewise, coming to a wedding after drinking would be considered very rude. Even if the groom is your drinking buddy, weddings are not an appropriate venue in which to be drunk.
