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Jim Thinks

Just Random Thoughts

Some questions worth asking

,

These were sent to my wife by her mother, of all people. I think they are funny. Enjoy.

QUESTIONS THAT HAUNT ME!
If you force a prostitute to have sex, is it considered rape or shoplifting?

Can you cry under water?

How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?

Why do you have to "put your two cents in"... but it's only a "penny for your thoughts"? Where's that extra penny going to?

Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity?

Why does a round pizza come in a square box?

What disease did cured ham actually have?

How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?

Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up every two hours?

If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?

Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV?

Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?

Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They're going to see you naked anyway.

Why is "bra" singular and "panties" plural?

Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?

Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane ?

If Wile E.. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME crap, why didn't he just buy dinner?

If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from?

If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?

Why did you just try singing the two songs above?

Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the atmosphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your butt?

Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?

Just some silliness for a Wednesday. You will need a little U.S. pop culture for a few of these.

Wedding BellsLeonard Cohen at the Fabulous Fox

Comments

L2D2 10. September 2009, 02:35

Jim 10. September 2009, 13:52

That's funny. My list must have been edited down as it passed from hand to hand.

Growing Arms Back is Handy! 14. September 2009, 10:24

:lol: I was part of a jury where one of the witnesses was deaf ...

Jim 14. September 2009, 12:06

Huh?

Growing Arms Back is Handy! 14. September 2009, 12:13

If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?



I was part of a jury where one of the witnesses was deaf. I thought the coincidence was amusing ...

Denis Edward Chesney 14. September 2009, 15:08

Hey JC the answer to the last Q is that the dog prefers to put his head outta the car window bcause he does'nt want to inhale bad breath.. Loved this post. keep em coming Amigo, por favor and good luck with the Spanish lessons
Denis

Jim 15. September 2009, 17:26

Originally posted by clean:

If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?




I was part of a jury where one of the witnesses was deaf. I thought the coincidence was amusing ...




I know. I was being silly. Deaf Person...... Huh?

Glad I was trying for silly instead of funny. I think I misfired.

Growing Arms Back is Handy! 15. September 2009, 21:28

I thought that might have been the case with the 'Huh?', but I wasn't 100% sure ... :lol:

Denis Edward Chesney 21. September 2009, 13:43

Did you read 'The Dumb Witness' by Dame Agatha Christie ?

Jim 22. September 2009, 17:41

No, but I like Agatha Christie. I'll check it out next time I am in the library.

Denis Edward Chesney 29. September 2009, 17:07

Hi JC Post some more Americana stuff, I just love it. :D: Denis

Denis Edward Chesney 29. September 2009, 17:26

Q. What disease did the ham have
before it was cured?
Ans. Swine flu !.

act2bmp 26. October 2009, 05:34

:lol: :lol: love it Jim but to late and drunk to think of a quick come back :drunk:

Denis Edward Chesney 29. October 2009, 17:25

Best of luck & safe journey JC. Have a ball. Denis

act2bmp 1. November 2009, 02:08

If nobody is perfect and I am nobody does that make me.... :confused:

Jim 2. November 2009, 03:33

I think maybe it does. Good one.

act2bmp 2. November 2009, 05:07

:D Hi Jim just me having a bit of fun, I like it when you put your new page on guess you remember the first time I made a comment on a photo of yours seems like long ago now anywho see you for now keep me laughing mate John. :smile:

Jim 5. November 2009, 03:13

Good to hear from you. I'll probably put up some new stuff this weekend. I've had to fill in for other volunteers three days this week and go to class two more.

act2bmp 5. November 2009, 21:08

look forward to it Jim :yes:

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