Last letters from Iraq
Thursday, 12. April 2007, 12:15:37
Quote
Wednesday, 11. April 2007, 17:48:07
"Some ex-Stasi became taxi drivers, and very good ones, too: you just had to give your name and they knew the address." - Alex Latotzky
Happy Easter
Saturday, 7. April 2007, 15:40:35
Three Canadian blondes died and found themselves standing before St. Peter. He told them that before they could enter the Kingdom, they had to tell him what Easter represented.
The first blonde said, "Easter is a holiday where they have a big feast, and we give thanks and eat turkey." St. Peter said, "Noooooo," and he banished her to Hell.
The second blonde said, "Easter is when we celebrate Jesus' birth and exchange gifts. St. Peter said, "Noooooo," and he banished her to Hell.
The third blonde said she knew what Easter was, and St. Peter said, "So, tell me.” She said, "Easter is a Christian holiday that coincides with the Jewish
Festival of Passover. Jesus was having the Passover feast with His disciples when He was betrayed by Judas, and the Romans arrested Him. The Romans hung Him on the cross and eventually He died. Then they buried Him in a tomb behind a very large boulder ..." St. Peter said, "Verrrrrry good.
Then the blonde continued, "Now, every year they roll away the boulder. And Jesus comes out. If he sees his shadow, we have six more weeks of hockey."
The first blonde said, "Easter is a holiday where they have a big feast, and we give thanks and eat turkey." St. Peter said, "Noooooo," and he banished her to Hell.
The second blonde said, "Easter is when we celebrate Jesus' birth and exchange gifts. St. Peter said, "Noooooo," and he banished her to Hell.
The third blonde said she knew what Easter was, and St. Peter said, "So, tell me.” She said, "Easter is a Christian holiday that coincides with the Jewish
Festival of Passover. Jesus was having the Passover feast with His disciples when He was betrayed by Judas, and the Romans arrested Him. The Romans hung Him on the cross and eventually He died. Then they buried Him in a tomb behind a very large boulder ..." St. Peter said, "Verrrrrry good.
Then the blonde continued, "Now, every year they roll away the boulder. And Jesus comes out. If he sees his shadow, we have six more weeks of hockey."
Where is God?
Friday, 6. April 2007, 10:51:47
A couple had two little boys, ages eight and ten, who were excessively mischievous.
The two were always getting into trouble and their parents could be confident that if any mischief occurred in their town, their two young sons were involved in some capacity. The parents were at their wit's end as to what to do about their sons' behavior.
The parents had heard that a clergyman in town had been successful in disciplining children in the past, so they contacted him, and he agreed to give it his best shot. He asked to see the boys individually, so the eight-year-old was sent to meet with him first. The clergyman sat the boy down and asked him sternly, "Where is God?"
The boy made no response, so the clergyman repeated the question in an even sterner tone, "Where is God?"
Again the boy made no attempt to answer, so the clergyman raised his voice even more and shook his finger in the boy's face, "WHERE IS GOD?"
At that, the boy bolted from the room, ran directly home, and slammed himself in his closet. His older brother followed him into the closet and said, "What happened?"
The younger brother replied, "We are in BIG trouble this time. God is missing and they think we did it!"
The two were always getting into trouble and their parents could be confident that if any mischief occurred in their town, their two young sons were involved in some capacity. The parents were at their wit's end as to what to do about their sons' behavior.
The parents had heard that a clergyman in town had been successful in disciplining children in the past, so they contacted him, and he agreed to give it his best shot. He asked to see the boys individually, so the eight-year-old was sent to meet with him first. The clergyman sat the boy down and asked him sternly, "Where is God?"
The boy made no response, so the clergyman repeated the question in an even sterner tone, "Where is God?"
Again the boy made no attempt to answer, so the clergyman raised his voice even more and shook his finger in the boy's face, "WHERE IS GOD?"
At that, the boy bolted from the room, ran directly home, and slammed himself in his closet. His older brother followed him into the closet and said, "What happened?"
The younger brother replied, "We are in BIG trouble this time. God is missing and they think we did it!"
Bedtime story
Thursday, 5. April 2007, 11:50:07
A Husband and wife are in bed together. The wife feels her husband's hand rubbing her shoulder.
"Oh, that feels good," she says. His hand moves to her breast.
"Gee, honey, that feels wonderful," she coos. His hand moves to her leg.
"Oh, honey, don't stop," she pleads, but he stops.
The wife is all hot and bothered. "Why did you stop?"
"Because," he said, "I found the remote."
"Oh, that feels good," she says. His hand moves to her breast.
"Gee, honey, that feels wonderful," she coos. His hand moves to her leg.
"Oh, honey, don't stop," she pleads, but he stops.
The wife is all hot and bothered. "Why did you stop?"
"Because," he said, "I found the remote."
Stable talk
Wednesday, 4. April 2007, 17:10:44
Some race horses were in the stable. One of them started to boast about his track record. "Of the last 15 races, I've won 8 of them!"
Another horse cut in, "Well in the last 27 races, I've won 19!"
"Oh that's good, but of my last 36 races, I've won 28!" said another, flicking his tail.
At this point, they noticed that a greyhound dog has been sitting there listening. "I don't mean to boast," said the greyhound, "but in my last 90 races, I've won 88 of them!"
The horses were clearly amazed. "Wow!" said one, after a hushed silence, "A talking dog."
Another horse cut in, "Well in the last 27 races, I've won 19!"
"Oh that's good, but of my last 36 races, I've won 28!" said another, flicking his tail.
At this point, they noticed that a greyhound dog has been sitting there listening. "I don't mean to boast," said the greyhound, "but in my last 90 races, I've won 88 of them!"
The horses were clearly amazed. "Wow!" said one, after a hushed silence, "A talking dog."
Hiccups
Tuesday, 3. April 2007, 06:15:29
A man went into a chemist's shop and asked the pharmacist if he could give him something for hiccups. The pharmacist promptly reached out and slapped the man's face.
"What did you do that for?" demanded the man.
"Well, you don't have the hiccups anymore do you?" the pharmacist replied, smugly.
The man said, "No, I don't, but my wife out in the car still does."
"What did you do that for?" demanded the man.
"Well, you don't have the hiccups anymore do you?" the pharmacist replied, smugly.
The man said, "No, I don't, but my wife out in the car still does."
on the deathbed
Friday, 30. March 2007, 16:58:19
The old farmer on his deathbed beckoned his wife over. “Mavis,” he gasped. “You were with me through the Great Depression. You were by my side through the war. You were there beside me through the droughts and the landslides. And now you're here at my deathbed. You know, I'm beginning to think you're bad luck.”
the boss
Thursday, 29. March 2007, 19:41:41
The boss was complaining in the staff meeting the other day that he wasn't getting any respect. Later that morning he went to a local card and novelty shop and bought a small sign that read, "I'm the Boss." He then taped it to his office door.
Later that day when he returned from lunch, he found that someone had taped a note to the sign that said. "Your wife called, she wants her sign back!"
Later that day when he returned from lunch, he found that someone had taped a note to the sign that said. "Your wife called, she wants her sign back!"
« Prev 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 ... 17 Next »
Showing posts 31 - 40 of 169.
Shoutbox
| S | M | T | W | T | F | S |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
 November 2009January 2010
| ||||||
| 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | ||
| 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 |
| 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | 19 |
| 20 | 21 | 22 | 23 | 24 | 25 | 26 |
| 27 | 28 | 29 | 30 | 31 | ||
Try a faster and more secure Web browser. Download Opera
WIDGETIZEHelp | Disclaimer | Terms of service | Web analytics powered by HitsLink
