Jonathan's Corner

It's true what they say, you learn something new about yourself everyday. This weekend I learned what might be some of the most important things about myself. I am me, I can't change that. I am me, no one will make me change. I am me, I am my own hero. I am me, no one can put me down. The things I do, the friends I have, and the way I am, are all reflections of me, the person that I am, or rather, was. Call it self-discovery, a realization, an epiphany, or whatever, I know me now. Before, every aspect of my life was inconceivably wrong and jaded, now, I believe I am changing for the better. Part of that process is apologizing to the people I have wronged and forgiving the many people that have wronged me. First and foremost, I want to apologize to my family for all the hurt I have caused them. For choosing friends over them. For letting them down. I failed to recognize the fact that my family will always be there for me no matter what. I failed to recognize that there is no love like a mother's love. For that, I am sorry. Now I feel your pain and worry, for that you have my regrets. I was wrong, you were right.

My mother once told me that when you start to run with rabid wolves you learn to howl like them, and eventually, even louder. When she told me this, I had no idea what it meant, or how it pertained to my situation. I see clearly now. I know exactly what it means. I came close to being someone I never imagined, but thankfully I did not.

It's been a long time coming but, I feel like I can finally be true to my being. I have found my calling, and now I know I won't stray from the path. I am finally ridding myself of the negative aspects in my life and, once and for all, living my life with a purpose. Living for me.

I've also decided to become entuned with my faith, which, for a long time, has been neglected. I used to question if God really existed, all of this because of the bad experiences I had growing up. Now I see His purpose. I see they were all just tests, and regrettably I failed most of them. I believe, however, that I have passed at least one, or part of one: Effectively changing the way I perceived life. Before, I looked at life as if it was one huge party. Now, the veil has been lifted from my eyes and I now I must celebrate life by thanking the one who gave me the precious gift.

I am confident that I will prevail through this endeavour. I know it will be difficult. I see now that temptation is always just around the corner. This time, however, I will neither be fooled nor lured by it.