What Was She Thinking?!

You Know You're From Texas When...

* You only know five spices: Salt, pepper, Ranch dressing, barbecue sauce and ketchup.

* You have ten favorite recipes for deer meat.

* You think sexy lingerie is tube-socks and a flannel nightie with only eight buttons.

* The local paper covers national and international headlines on a quarter page, but requires six pages for local sports.

* You can write a check at Dairy Queen for two Hunger-Busters and fries.

* At least twice a year, the kitchen doubles as a meat processing plant.

* You think the start of deer season is a national holiday.

* You know which leaves make good toilet paper.

* You know four seasons: Almost Summer, Summer, Still Summer and Deer Season.

* You actually understand these jokes and forward them to all your Texan friends.

Ten Things a Texan Would NEVER Say!

1. Oh I just couldn't. Hell, she's only sixteen.

2. I'll take Shakespeare for 1000, Alex.

3. Duct tape won't fix that.

4. We don't keep firearms in this house.

5. You can't feed that to the dog.

6. I thought Graceland was tacky.

7. No kids in the back of the pickup, it's just not safe.

8. Wrestling's fake.

9. Too many deer heads detract from the decor.

10. I've got two cases of Zima for the Super Bowl.