What Was She Thinking?!

I'm sitting here counting my blessings this morning. I've got three really great friends.

1. One of them (the one I'm married to), I've known over half my life, known longer than I knew my mother. He has stood by me when I had my cancer and surgery in 1990, followed me to Houston because he realized, almost too late, that he couldn't live without me, showed me the ocean, taught me to love myself first. But he's sitting in his hospital room right now stewing because I fell asleep and didn't go up to see him tonight. Nevermind the fact that the three times I called him this evening, he hurried me off the phone because he was playing poker on line. He'll settle down later and I'll probaby drop by on my way to work. Tonight I'll come up and bring him his malted milk balls (or "moth balls" as we call them) and all will be forgiven. And then we can sit there and talk about the great house we are buying together. And I will love him until one of us dies.

A soulmate is someone who has locks that fit our keys, and keys to fit our locks. When we feel safe enough to open the locks, our truest selves step out and we can be completely and honestly who we are; we can be loved for who we are and not for who we're pretending to be.

~~ Richard Bach (The Bridge Across Forever)

2. My other friend, my Fuzzy Bear, lives across the sea. That doesn't matter. He's always in my heart and my thoughts. I would go to the mat, the moon and back and the Earth's core for him. And he knows it. We've had some rocky times and mostly it's been me reacting badly and incorrectly to something he's said. I have a literal mind and there is a bit of a culture difference. He has a fine and brilliant mind, a gentle soul wise beyond its years, a passion that cannot be quenched, and a resoluteness that breaks my heart sometimes. The one thing I can count on from my wonderful friend is absolute and brutal honesty. But I'm hooked. As I said the other night in response to his "Just beep me if you need me or want to talk," "I always need you and want to talk to you!" And, yes, of course, I love you.

What does your sorrow do while you're sleeping? It is awake and waiting. And, when it loses patience, it wakes me up.

~~ Ivo Andric

3. Finally, there's my PLWS. My Precious Link With Sanity. The one who fields my tearful calls, who always makes me laugh through those tears. The one who shares my love, appreciation and frustration over web design and damn web standards. We cry as much over life's little setbacks as we do over why our stylesheets won't validate or why our pages won't render properly in (pick one or more) IE, Firefox and Opera. She knows what to say to make me smile and I make sure her Starbucks Gift Card never wanes. Just so you don't think it's all one-sided, she'll be the first to tell you that I've helped her work through situations and relationships, we've plotted, planned and giggled together and spend as much time on the telephone as me and Friend #2 do in chat. She is one half of the Idiot Girl's Action Adventure Club 2. And she is loved.

Good communication is as stimulating as black coffee, and just as hard to sleep after.

~~ Anne Morrow Lindberg

Whatever did I do to deserve these precious friends of mine?

I want you to know how important you are to me,
how you can be the creator of the person that is me if you choose to.
Please choose to. You alone can break down the wall
behind which I tremble, you alone can remove my mask.
You alone can release me from my shadowworld of panic and uncertainty;
From my lonely person.

~~ Jill Zevallos-Solak, 1974