Captain's Logbook

you might be a redneck if you've ever lost a tooth opening a beer bottle.

you might be a redneck if you are allowed to bring your dog to work.

you might be a redneck if bikers back down from your mama

you might be a redneck if your bicycle has a gun rack.

you might be a redneck if after removing the empty beer cans from your car you find you get fifteen more miles to the gallon.

you might be a redneck if directions to your house include "turn off the paved road"

you might be a redneck if you wet the bed and four other people immediately know it.

you actually know what kind of leaves make the best substitute for toilet paper.

you might be a redneck if your father encourages you to quit school because Larry has a opening on the lube rack.

you might be a redneck if the neighbors have ever asked to borrow the light bulb.

you might be a redneck if your wife keeps a can of Vienna sausage in her purse.

you might be a redneck if your wife can climb a tree faster than your cat.

you might be a redneck if you have a rag for a gas cap.

you might be a redneck if you've ever vacationed in a rest area.

you might be a redneck if you hold a frog and it worries about getting warts.

you might be a redneck you have to take the entire day off to get your teeth cleaned.

you might be a redneck you've ever lost your wife in a poker game.

you might be a redneck you offer to give somebody the shirt off your back and they don't want it.