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Through the Eyes of an Insomniac :: A True Story Told

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Nostalgia From a Third World

Just got back from our "vacation" to N.Y. For all the hell my mind has put me through, racing through thoughts of complete uncertainty and confusion, and everything else factored in (the way we travelled, who I travelled with, where we visited, the shear and utter bordem, etc.) it wasn't even worthy of being called "vacation" at all...It was a purgatory.

Monday morn donned faster than any morning of the week. Strangely, I was woken up last and accused of being waited on. The irony in that is thicker than motor oil caked with dirt considering I had my bag packed, waiting in the car as they all raced around the house to make sure everything was alright to be leaving for a few days. Two hours later, still waiting in the car, they were ready. Everyone was in an extremely anti-depressant worthy mood. How I saw this coming must be practice after years of travelling. BUT THEY WEREN'T READY!!! THEY HAD TO RUN MORE SHIT INTO THE HOUSE AND PUT BELLA IN THE DRIVEWAY

First of all, we went in the 4-door Plymouth town car. 5 people. I only can talk to one of them, who sat in front of me, while I was in the back seat with my brother who has no common sense.

Second of all, I hate stupid people. I was stuck with three in a car for a 4 hour trip that was stretched into 7 because the adult male can't hit the friggin gas and he has to stop at the slowest fuggin restaurant to eat lunch.

Third of all, I was pre-upset that I couldn't see Stephanie one last time before hell on wheels.

We stopped by my uncles house on the way through to drop off some The Rat Pack and Dean Martin CD's. NICE TO SEE SOMEONE WHO HAS INTELLIGENCE!!! *glares through wall at location of sister and brother* Mom took advantage of the stop and used the bathroom as my uncle and I talked. The adult male family unit just stood by the door, waiting to leave and the siblings were petting the cat on the counter. Now one thing I loved about my uncle is that he's the type to listen about aaaaanything and not take it out of proportion. Our humor is practically identical too, so we're always rolling with laughter everytime we visit. Well, we started talking about the almighty knows what when the adult male by the door scoffed at one of my comments, which I had solid backing behind. He pulled out his mental book of teenage stereotypes that he practically uses as a bible against me and whips out the "teenagers know all" bullshit. WHILE MOM WAS OUT OF THE ROOM!!! HE NEVER DOES THIS WHEN SHE'S IN AUDIBLE RANGE!!! So that ended up into a calm argument. Something like this.

Adult Male -*scoff*
Me - "What? It's true!" It really was.
Adult Male - "Yeah. You know everything. Sorry."
Me - "Oh yeah, because I'm a teenager, I'm a source of all that is knowledge, right dad?"
Adult Male - "Yep"
Me - "Oh I love your stereotypes."
Adult Male - "You'll grow out of it."
Me - "Oh yes, I will, but will you?"
((HERE COMES HIS HUGE REBUDDLE FOR EVERY ARGUMENT HE LOSES AGAINST ME!!!! BASICALLY USED IN EVERY ARGUMENT!!!))
Adult Male - "How would you like to stay here and we go to your grandpas without you?" ((Of course, it's a modified "threat" each time it's said depending on the situation))
((Dude...if he wasn't looking at is as some sort of punishment, I was all for the idea, so like any smartass, of course I said))
Me - "Yeah! Davey's cool! We'd have many good laughs! At least he doesn't hold stereotypes on me. We get along great!"
At this point, Davey ((my uncles nickname from way back in the day)) looked like he had no problem being a sanctuary for me. The room got silent. (This is our family way of saying that the person who said the last line of the argument won. Our arguments are split second responses. There is no time to think. Either you know or you don't.) About a minute passed and Mom came back from the bathroom. We were all ready to leave. My uncle, knowing our humor, had a comment to say and lightened the air with. "So...Josh! Where do ya wanna sleep tonight?!"
"I'll sleep on the table. Looks comfortable!" *laughing, looking at the "ALL KNOWING ADULT MALE," bringing it down to a chuckle* Mom was very befuddled with the reason behind that. I told her I'll explain the story later. Davey walked us to the door and stood there as we walked to the car. Waiting for it to be unlocked, my uncle and I did our typical greeting and goodbye thing. Jumping around like hoodlums in a mosh pit, in a sense. I got him laughing pretty good before we left. Nobody ever sees us which makes it even more hysterical. Mom drove this time. We were guaranteed now to actually make the last 30 miles within the 5 hours before sundown.

By the time we got there, I almost kissed the driveway, but I remembered my oath of lip devotion and thought otherwise. (don't ask)

Grandma came out first to greet us, followed by Grandpa. It was nice to see people who had at least a brain. (If you haven't guessed, I think 3 of the 4 others in my family are extremely idiotic as it were and it's always been my thing to avoid stupid people.) They set up a tray of hot dogs and hamburgers and we ate on their sun room, where my brother and I slept. The food was terrible, but since I already started it, I sucked it in and finished it. Grabbed me Palm, went to the first couch and picked up where I left off on The Da Vinci Code. (which is a GREAT book, by the way) Soon, we cleaned up all the dinner shit, got in two different vehicles and went to a very shitty car show. It wasn't near a quarter as good as the one we had...Not to mention I love the company at the one we had. smile After a while of standing around and reading The Da Vinci Code (there really was nothing to do...honest), we took off to the lakeside. It was a photographers dream. Considering I have a habit of doing stock photo bullshit, I Mommas new digital camera and snapped beautiful pics of the lake, the sunset through trees, and almost had a picture of what would look like a promising Norman Rockwell picture...had he done photography. It wasn't until Mom had to change the batteries did I find out that my near 15-20 beautiful one-chance pictures didn't save. Man was I pissed. One fuggin shot made it through.

We took off, leaving my art with the lake. (runs to empty, quiet room, screams, comes back) The youngest sibling and adult male rode with the grandparents, so I had somewhat a chance to regain my sanity. Came back to the house and pretty much degraded the night into bed time, reading the whole time because I try my best not to turn into my pessimistic family and adult male family unit, which I noticed is failing miserably... It scares me so much that it might ruin my relationship with Steph...

Well, like always, sleep didn't last long. I crashed on the couch at around 11:30 and woke up at 2, pitch black outside. Wide friggin awake. Pulled out my Palm after a half hour of trying to sleep and pulled up The Da Vinci Code again. I read until the low battery notice popped up. Around 4:30, I think it was. The battery didn't do too bad for a whole days use. I put it on the charger and laid on the couch looking out the windows of the sun room into the pitch black night. Thoughts were racing through my mind. It was incredible what I conjured...The sun was slowly, but surely rising, illuminating the back yard. I didn't fall back asleep until about 11...and then was waken back up at 11:30. Why do I bother? I ignored all the thoughts and spurred through my mind and got off the couch. Nostalgia was already getting to me. ((I miss you Steph))

It was no sooner after I got up than I was sitting in the back seat of the Plymouth again, riding to the gas station to get coffee and Combos. (A healthy way to start your day!) We got back to the house, then I found myself carrying coolers to Grandpas car...A picnic?! My cynical mind made me shuddered at the thought. Photography is one thing...family happy moments was another.

Well, we crossed the Canadian border and went to the boat canal. This was no ordinary boat canal. This was for mammoth ships, not what I was used to seeing at home. At first, I was bored. It made no sense to come here. Who cares?! Then the ship rose. That caught my attention. Photo opportunities sprouted everywhere. I had to get the camera. BUT since it's not over three years old yet (brand new in fact) Mom wouldn't let me have it. I had to hunch over her shoulder and move her arms to where I wanted the crosshair at. Snapped a few shots. It was so irritating. Stupid ass zoom screwed it all up. I prefer the viewfinder instead of that battery-sucking waste of LCD technology. After the ship dun left the canal, we went to the park next to it and hauled the coolers out of the trunk. Set it all up, grabbed Mom's camera and took every damn shot I saw. after a good three seconds, the adult male was being a bitch and decided to complain to the other adults so they can call me in to eat. (Yes I did hear him complain about how he'd like to eat and wish I would just come sit down to Grandpa a second before Grandpa called me over) WTF. I didn't eat. They wasted their time pleasing their treasured son in law. Should've left me capture the world on film. I did manage to get one good shot. I have plans to modify it, but keep the original in Photoshop. I'm so very upset by all my missed opportunities. Photography is addicting. My one and only narcotic.

We packed up and left. I badly fought the urge to throw a heavy blunt object at that man. Never again am I travelling anywhere with anymore than one family member. Don't matter how many friends. Shit, I'll bring a convoy LONG before I travel with anyone more than Mom from this family. (Bella is considered part of my own little family, but my own little family does not apply.)

Lost art again. *Runs back to that same room, screams...aplogizes to the person shrieking in bath tub, runs out, comes back*...oops. We also visited the floral clock...ask me for a photo. I'm not explaining. Also visited the Niagra Project. Ask me about that. I'm not explaining in here. Got back to the house and ordered pure New York pizza. Now...here's where the irony and the WTF kicks in most. I live off of pizza. It is the breakfast, lunch, brunch, dinner, midnight snack, quarter after midnight snack, snack, morning snack, on the go food of choice, etc. of CHAMPIONS! Recall the events of the visit to Davey's house? If not, read up.

We all ate in the sun room again. They have this circular table with a lazy susan in the middle. The lazy susan and table is perfect for pizza as the box sat on susan and you could just spin her and grab your piece. (love my play on words?) Well, everyone fit around the table perfectly. Enough elbow room, the plates and cups had the perfect amount of room between the tables edge and the lazy susan. Everyone but my sis was able to reach it perfectly fine with no effort what so ever. The seating was four benches that fit two people on each. I shared one with Mom and the adult male had his own on the other side of me. As you might already guess, my mind was already thinking the best way to clock him and run. Like always, I finished my initial two pieces of God's miracle food first. Grandpa offered seconds, taking notice of my empty plate. I happily accepted and Grandpa spun 'susan' in my direction. JUST BEFORE IT GOT TO ME, a hand shot out of nowhere next to me and put the box to a dead stop, the lid lifted and the spatula (who the hell uses a spatula on pizza?!) was already serving ready when the voice next to me said in the most child-like voice, "Which piece would you like, buddy?" Can I just...shove that spatula up yer ass and get my own damn piece?! "Uh...ooookay....doesn't matter...o_O...What happened to me being able to get it myself?" After Davey's house, babying me like I was a fuggin 3 year old was going to send him off his bench. Two-faced SOB... I played along, purposely missing the drop, letting the pizza hit the table, rightside up. Why I did this, I'm not certain. Maybe it was just to hear the bullshit from the man who dropped it. I played it all very cool. Since the table was clean, I picked the pizza up and put it on my plate, had it in my hand, ready to eat when the man makes another blow with the babying bullshit with, "You can have my piece if you like, and I can take yours!" *so help me God* "Uhm...this piece...is fine...considering the table was cleanedandI'm15notthree I will live, you know...o_O" I looked over at Mom who had this really dumbstruck look on her face. She didn't understand the babying thing, asking me after dinner what the hell that was about.

Another nigh deteriorated and lost into the memory recesses of my mind, but did not go by without me finally getting a moment to tell mom of all the bullshit the adult male pulls behind her back to me.

Yet another night spent lying awake, but this time it was different. I had a mind to pick tonight. My bro decided to stay awake. I found out that the adult male talks a lot of bullshit about me. First off, he doesn't realize I'm turning 16 with what would be considered a vocabulary of an educated 40-year-old and I am nothing like him at all. He complains about how he doesn't like my attitude and how I act. From everything my brother told me, he doesn't like me at all because my attitude and how I act is me. It isn't a special show I put on for his benefit. It hasn't changed for 16 years and it won't change now. Not for him. Not for anyone. Okay...He expects you to be smiling and happy every time you see him. Doesn't matter. If you're thinking about how to install Linux on a Windows XP HDD and keep conversation short, he will ask you what's wrong...with a babying voice. This man has accused me for doing drugs, smoking, having sex...like I said from the paragraph about Davey's house, a book of teenage stereotypes. He holds every single one of them against me. He's a two-faced SOB. Don't let him fool you.

Anyhoo, that night came and went. Today came, finally. It started off extremely slow with more babying from the adult male. I shot a look of irritation at Mom and she told me to go make sure I had everything packed, keeping me away from him. (She understands me pretty well.) Got all my shtuff together and threw it in the trunk next to the body. ((lol)) A few hours past and I found myself riding a very basic moped at 30 mph around Grandpas yard. Although it ain't fast, I managed some pretty sweet shtuff with it. Also was given the opportunity to watch my brother attempt to show off and clear the moped, falling straight into the swampy part of the yard. A good laugh.

We left just after that as the adult male commanded and headed home. Mom told me how irritating the other three are and told me that I am to sit up front with her and the other three are to be in the back. She made it very clear and I followed through.

We're home now. My nostalgia has died down. My racing thoughts haven't...The mind was such a stupid creation. It's the Windows of biology. So many bugs and yet God still sticks with the release date regardless on what it's like when released.

Damn, this one is long. Sorry if you actually read all of this.

Megamedia got a remarkable 29 hits since Monday. CAD forum goers do not Pixel Pimp at. all. Which is perfectly fine. It's only staying around until other comics come along. I'm not ghetto enough to do this comic anymore. First Megamedia meeting with our current team is coming soon. Luckily, Brian called it, so I don't have to work around their Swing Band schedule. Him, Greg and Paul can all do that. Jason and I can work of everything else.

Well...I'm going to think of where to take my beautiful Stephanie when she comes back, then read some more of The Da Vinci Code.

c-ya
February 2014
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