Too much pressure!!! Too much pressure!!!

I am sitting at my desk, reading through the pcos related on-line forum, bringing myself down - instead of exercising, as my doctors told me... I am baaad.

Jacek is fast asleep, I don't even have anyone to talk to...

I am starting second series of clomid tablets, which will probably cause more painful side effects, but I got used to it (geeez, should I get used to it?!?) and I just "prod along" as they say...




I need a plan... to make my existence more interesting... hmmm...

This is how many have been taken within last week.

Both my parents visited me here in England and my dad was getting mental with the paparazzi thing!
I am now spending loads of time going through them and finding the "pearls", that can be posted, so watch this space!

I am really tired now, it was a very intense week, I didn't sleep properly for such a long time now... I need to make it up!

Although diagnosed probably not a good word.
PCOS - a syndrome, that comes from god knows where, differs from woman to woman and they don't have a way to treat it...

At least now we know why I am getting fat so easily and everything is broken in my body and it doean't work well...

I was told to lose a stone and take some more hormones, which never helped me. I will try and lose the excessive weight (it's not that bads with my bmi being 26, there are some girls that are fighting pocos and have got bnmi of 46 and more).

I am angry at my body and I am sad - feeling powerless.
Doctors can help me manage symptoms - and that's it.
If I want to have babies, they may give me loads of hormones - and that's it.

I should be gratefull I don';t have eccesive hair growth, and it's only my acne that adds up to the "other" symptoms, so I can live like an almost normal person...

I don't know what to think.
Basically - it's not bad, it's not cancer, I am not going to die.

I don't understand why it makes me sad...

I am thinking of changing my job. Into something easier, for a bit more money maybe and with people I know from ages ago.

If I did this, I could work part time - it would be awesome!

I am still at the thinking about it stage...

I have been off ill for good few days, lying in the bed with fever, when it was hot and sunny outside.
Well, I don't like sunshine anyway - I am only bothered that when I've got cold I usually don't have the energy to do anything else - so I feel totally useless.

Second update is that my hair is pink now (well, "berry" dark pink). It's also been cut short.
I look berry nice

I will try and post some photos (although my hair colour never looks on pictures as it does live - any suggestions on how to take the photo to show all the colours properly??).

Hough!