Posts tagged with "Thoughts"
Saturday, 2. August 2008, 10:39:58
Thoughts
I was all alone in an empty house lat night. Everyone went out - drinking, grilling, dancing, whatever. And I could here noises of someone walking up the stairs... That was creepy!
I think I am getting mental!
Tuesday, 29. July 2008, 20:41:12
Men, Thoughts
We're apart.
And that makes me feel... calm. I know whatever happens I will be your friend, waiting there to support you and your choices.
And I need to figure out who I am - without you.
Saturday, 19. July 2008, 21:31:53
Thoughts
Do I like this too much?
Am I really just one of these people who can't help themselves but leave everythign behid hoping that this urge will make them more happy, more powerfull more-in-love??
stupid...
Friday, 4. July 2008, 18:46:51
Thoughts, Music
A friend (friend... hmmm what was that word Mr Ian?? aaa - acquaintance - I know him only from work) made me come back to Linkin' Park music. And I am sitting there and listening...
They only came out when I was 16. And that was... 8 years ago.
Just listening to them... comparing their first album and their last one... made me notice I DID change. A lot...
And I thought i am stil seventeen...
Monday, 23. June 2008, 17:09:11
Thoughts
I don't even know it myself.
I am older now and I won't let it go just like that, I will not allow my life to be a fucking compromise. For fucks sake! I can do compromise, what am I saying? I just don't want to be the only one (out of two) who is willing to compromise... Like I am the only one that cares.
24 hours. No change.
No change
No change
...
What will it end up like?
Sunday, 22. June 2008, 18:37:04
Thoughts
What should I do when something ends?
Jeezzzz - I never thought this would happen. I am not a teenager anymore, I am looking at everything with quite adult eyes.
well - people don't see me a s a mature person at work - but that's just a face. And I have got that face becase I am one of the youngest people in our team. But I don't see myself as an immature youngster.
Not after everything I've been through for these 24 years of my life...
Should I pretend I am worried, when I am not? People would probably like to see me as a sad woman now, and porbably will blame me for it... Break down...
She did it, it's her own fault, she wasn't good enough. I am sure that's what they will think. Ans yet - I don't care.
It's just like viva.la.muerte wrote in his comment to my previous post - I am getting cold. And does not make me sad, it only makes me tired...
Friday, 13. June 2008, 23:22:21
Men, Thoughts
... everyone claims it's relieving (how to spell this damn word??) but nobody said it could be SO painful. I am wondering whether I am trying to feel too much or not feel anything, cause I can't see any bloody difference!
Saturday, 17. May 2008, 13:21:05
Birthday, Thoughts
It was my birthday on Thursday.
Rather sad day - I don't know why. It is all different to what it was when I was younger. Christmas and birthdays are different. Something happened to the magic. No awaiting. No happiness. It's just a date in my calendar that is no different to any other.
I wish I could bring back that feeling of something special...
Friday, 2. May 2008, 21:29:14
Thoughts
Sometimes you dissapear for a while and think you're not going to be back.
The old routes seem too... used. There is nothing to get back to and you have to build it all from the scratch. I keep thinking I had too many points like that in my life when I wanted to erase my past and start it all over again.
Is it because I feel like I failed and I am not happy with what I acheived, or maybe I just get bored too quickly?
I think I've got problems with putting down my roots - I get scared when everything stays the same for a long time...
I guess that's why I didn't write.
Tuesday, 2. October 2007, 19:35:03
Thoughts
Today I have noticed that when I behave the way everybody prefers me to, I am acknowledged.
When I am me - people just turn away.
There must something teribly wrong either with me or with the whole idea of who should be recognized as normal.
What is normal? Is being silent when in company normal? Is being intravertic normal? Is being happy of you life normal? Of course it is. But this is NOT the only NORMAL way!!!
Jeez. Maybe we should play "Euilibrium" game? Let's pretend we do not have feelings, let's pretend we are all emphatic, don't eat meat and care about the environment. Let's pretend we're not selfish and we're not bothered about our own ass...
Who are you kidding!?!?!
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