Too much pressure!!! Too much pressure!!!

...if I even should post anything.
I am totally incapable of doing anything recently.
My body is swollen (the blessing of taking additional hormones) and I am irate, tired and sad.

And there is no one "real-life" that could support me these days. Everyone is tired with aching Julka, who is grumpy sometimes, or they don't have any idea of what's going on (like people from work - where I wear my mask well...)

But still, it doesn't feel fair on my on-line friends to dump all these nasty feelings of mine on their heads...
I gained some more kilograms, I am 63 now, size 14. Not too bad, but much worse than I was three years ago, when I moved to England. My body is retaining water and I getting heavier though I haven't been eating more than 1400 calories per day.
This is pretty frustrating, when you don't even have control over things you should have. Not that I am some kind of control freak - but getting heavier when you're eating healthy is not right - right?

So I stopped controlling myself and I am eating more now. This week I was eating when I was hungry - and I get hungry often now - hormones are apparently doing their work...


I am feeling guilty moaning so much, when people around me (and around internet) are having real problems.
Like my new found acquaintance - Mr. Allan





I think I should go to sleep...
Goodnight