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Too much pressure!!! Too much pressure!!!

Tweek, calm down! Drink some coffee...

I don't know...

Thursday, 5. February 2009, 19:23:35

, , ,

...if I even should post anything.
I am totally incapable of doing anything recently.
My body is swollen (the blessing of taking additional hormones) and I am irate, tired and sad.

And there is no one "real-life" that could support me these days. Everyone is tired with aching Julka, who is grumpy sometimes, or they don't have any idea of what's going on (like people from work - where I wear my mask well...)

But still, it doesn't feel fair on my on-line friends to dump all these nasty feelings of mine on their heads...
I gained some more kilograms, I am 63 now, size 14. Not too bad, but much worse than I was three years ago, when I moved to England. My body is retaining water and I getting heavier though I haven't been eating more than 1400 calories per day.
This is pretty frustrating, when you don't even have control over things you should have. Not that I am some kind of control freak - but getting heavier when you're eating healthy is not right - right?

So I stopped controlling myself and I am eating more now. This week I was eating when I was hungry - and I get hungry often now - hormones are apparently doing their work... :frown:


I am feeling guilty moaning so much, when people around me (and around internet) are having real problems.
Like my new found acquaintance - Mr. Allan





I think I should go to sleep...
Goodnight :faint:

I am back...Dissapear, dissapear... Thinner, thinner... into the air....

Comments

Hermitess 6. February 2009, 04:44

I think are having a real problem! It may not be the same as someone else's problem, but it is still a problem. And you are the one who has to suffer through it.

You have been sounding a bit depressed, which is understandable with what you are going through.

I can totally relate to the no energy, no motivation part, as I've been fighting the fibromonster a lot lately & it seems to be getting smarter. :mad:

Send me a PM if you feel like venting.

Big hugs to you! I'm sending you some of our sunny warm weather to cheer you & HD sends a furry hug as well. :smile:

melnichuck 6. February 2009, 08:15

Feels like you need to change something in your life Julka. Not sure what, but I guess you know it better than anyone else. And, guess, you need someone who will understand you and will support you it it. Wish you a good luck! :up:

clean 14. February 2009, 00:37

Have a look at the areas of your life that are stressing you and change them (if possible) one at a time (i.e., focus on changing one thing for the better like, say, your job, then - when you don't have to think/worry about that stress anymore, move on to the next thing). Things taken all at once can be ovrwhelming, so break 'em down! :smile:

julka 14. February 2009, 13:36

It's more to do with the pain I am in all the time.
I am taking more and more painkillers and everyone around is annoyed with me being a suffering person...
And doctors... well - they don't do much...

clean 14. February 2009, 14:15

Is it possible to try different painkillers? Even if they're ones you've tried before, the body tends to get used to 'em unless they're changed around occasionally. Y'know ... a couple of weeks on one type, then a couple of weeks on the next, then back to the first lot ... tends to stop the body getting used to 'em and making 'em lose their effectiveness.

And remember - you're paying the doctors - you're their boss! If you want new or different painkillers, let 'em know. If they don't like it, see if you can find someone else.

Hermitess 15. February 2009, 16:28

Have you tried hot showers/baths, heating pads, ect ?

Is it the migraines or all over pain?

julka 15. February 2009, 20:18

It WAS the abdominal pain, but today I woke up with a migrain and hot water bottle pressed against my left ear/eye helped a lot. Unfortunately I was sick as well... blah... And tomorrow I am going back to work... I simply can't wait when spring will come, as this weather is not helping me at all and I am turning into a grumpy git.

And I still haven't read the Alchemist... I am a baad person... :frown:

julka 15. February 2009, 20:18

It WAS the abdominal pain, but today I woke up with a migrain and hot water bottle pressed against my left ear/eye helped a lot. Unfortunately I was sick as well... blah... And tomorrow I am going back to work... I simply can't wait when spring will come, as this weather is not helping me at all and I am turning into a grumpy git.

And I still haven't read the Alchemist... I am a baad person... :frown:

Hermitess 16. February 2009, 21:46

Oh no!! :frown: big hugs to you!
I hope you feel better soon. :smile:

Jarka & I have finished the book. Are you going to read it or do you want to skip it until you feel better?

Hermitess 16. February 2009, 21:46

Oh no!! :frown: big hugs to you!
I hope you feel better soon. :smile:

Jarka & I have finished the book. Are you going to read it or do you want to skip it until you feel better?

Hermitess 16. February 2009, 21:47

Oh no!! :frown: big hugs to you!
I hope you feel better soon. :smile:

Jarka & I have finished the book. Are you going to read it or do you want to skip it until you feel better?

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