Why I feel hurt?
Thursday, 20. July 2006, 14:49:16
Sarah's comment to write something and then her post about birth-month, made me thinking.
It is true I am easily hurt. I like people and I trust them easily. But sometime I find that if someone avoids me, that HURTS me most. I dont know the reason for that. Today such thing happend and I was devasted.
After such thing happens to me, I become childish and decide not to talk with the person who hurts me, then again after few days I am normal. Is it some sort of insecurity? Why I feel vunrable? Why I can't be strong like other people?
I am afraid of losing people, I am easil hurt, that lead me to be aloof, I live in my own cocoon. Afraid of coming out, and that makes many things unexplored.
My concealed identity in my blogs is one of the reason. I am afraid if I disclose myself, I will become vulnerable. I know you might find it amusing, but that is true.
For that reason, I never get intimate in any relation and keep distance. I know I have lost ,or never gained to be honest, much frinends. I have become wanderer in life.
I know if I can overcome with this 'problem' I can taste the life more sweetly. And I know I will, have to, overcome this.
This is the fact, a bitter one, of my life.
Peace.....
It is true I am easily hurt. I like people and I trust them easily. But sometime I find that if someone avoids me, that HURTS me most. I dont know the reason for that. Today such thing happend and I was devasted.
After such thing happens to me, I become childish and decide not to talk with the person who hurts me, then again after few days I am normal. Is it some sort of insecurity? Why I feel vunrable? Why I can't be strong like other people?
I am afraid of losing people, I am easil hurt, that lead me to be aloof, I live in my own cocoon. Afraid of coming out, and that makes many things unexplored.
My concealed identity in my blogs is one of the reason. I am afraid if I disclose myself, I will become vulnerable. I know you might find it amusing, but that is true.
For that reason, I never get intimate in any relation and keep distance. I know I have lost ,or never gained to be honest, much frinends. I have become wanderer in life.
I know if I can overcome with this 'problem' I can taste the life more sweetly. And I know I will, have to, overcome this.
This is the fact, a bitter one, of my life.
Peace.....
WIDGETIZE
ღೋCupcake Blogೋღ # 20. July 2006, 17:54
I think that you should just be yourself. If right now you are shy and not open with what you are really feeling then that is the way that you should be, I don't think that you should try to be something that you are not. When you get older then maybe you will be different and open and in the mood to tell people what you are, your experiances in life, and what you have been through all of your time that you have been on this earth. Don't worry be happy, my friend. Be yourself and try to make the best of it.
I am on the other hand, too open at times. I wear my feelings on my sleeve and let everyone know what I am thinking, feeling, going through, etc.
Being closed and not telling things not only keeps people away but guards your true self.
Maybe it is okay for now.
Sarah
JV # 21. July 2006, 05:08
You say right, sometime I try to be open, but again that is not 'me'. I have to be someone else. I have to change 'personality' for that.
And I know that , I am blessed to have surrounded by people who really like me for what 'actually' I am.
Thanks for sharing your view.
After writing on my blogs for last two years, I find that whenever I write my feelings, the burden ease away and I can see the things more clearly. However, I write my personal things in my diary never share with anyone.
This is rare when I write something about myself on blog. I know I have opened myself, but it has its own advantage. There are always some peaceful soul who can direct you.
Thanks again..
Fatimah # 19. August 2006, 00:53
as much as I am hurt in a constant .. I keep loving and giving.
I rather loved than not to have loved at all.
This goes in any relationship .. if it doesn't work out at least your tried and also you won't have any IF.. IF I did this or that or I should haves..
I don't have regrets or any IFS or Should haves.. I give every realationship my full attention and if it does not work out .. then I know I did my best.
To hide or keep back is only hurting you and keeping you from feeling the life in full and also to find yourself to know yourself better.
I have proven this in my life.. I found an amazing women in all my suffering and a woman that is stronger than she thought she was.
A growing experience you can always absorb from any pain or pleasure however, you have to allow yourself to dive into live and grab it by the horns and hold on for what the ride is worth.
I hope I made sense to you and you have gained some of my knowledge.
Your friend always
Fatimah