imagin8

One couple are in conflict. The man says when he is with his partner he feels surrendered to her and its tremendous, but often he needs a few days away from her, and she does not like this.

(To the man) Simply listen to your feelings. When you feel flowing, flow; when you don't feel flowing there is no need to force it. Don't create unnecessary problems for yourself. And she is perfectly ready to allow you that much space; there is no problem from her side. But be true: whenever you are feeling flowing, flow. Don't play a politician. In times when you want to be with her -- as she is saying -- you say no, but she feels that you want to say yes. Don't play the politician. If you want to say yes, say yes; if you want to say no, say no. Because women are very perceptive. If deep down you want to say yes and on the surface you are saying no, she will be able to feel it. They have a deeper sensitivity to feel, they are intuitive. It is very difficult to deceive a woman, and she is almost always right.
So there is no need... when you love a woman, simply be true. Don't play this male chauvinistic game. The male mind is such that even when it wants the woman to be close, it says no, because it wants to pretend 'I don't need anybody. I am enough unto myself. If you want me, you can come, but I don't need you.' That is foolish -- you cannot deceive a woman -- and that unnecessarily creates complexity. Life as it is is complicated enough; don't make it more complicated. Make it as simple as possible. If there is yes, then yes; if there is no, there is no. Don't create confusion. And she will be able -- she loves you -- she will be able to understand it when you want to say no; she will not feel offended.

Truth never really offends. To be true to a person is really being respectful to the person. If you are not respectful then you have to be diplomatic. Then you have to play; you have to use games and strategies. But when you love a person simply say.... And it is not in any way condemning her; when you want to be alone it says nothing about her. It doesn't say that she is not worth anything or she is not lovable or you don't love her any more. All that you are saying is 'Right now I am not in a flow.' You are saying something about you, not about her.

And be true to yourself too. When you are not feeling in a flow, if you enforce the flow, it will be false, pseudo, and you will take revenge on her. You will be angry, because it is because of her that you are in this enforced role, as if she had been forcing it on you. And when you are not feeling to move with her, to go into love, to be together, don't feel guilty either. One cannot be in that state of loving twenty-four hours a day. It is a rare moment -- it comes once in a while -- and it is valuable because it is rare. If it is just an ordinary thing, available on order, it will be of no value. It comes when it comes; you cannot order it. It is not in your control, so what can you do? When it comes, go together.

And remember the second part of it: sometimes she may not feel flowing with you. Then be respectful to her feeling; don't disturb her. Don't force her to be with you or to be loving. Just out of your consideration she may go with you, but then it is false, and anything false never satisfies, never. Only truth gives contentment. So what is wrong in it? One day you feel flowing, flow; then for three days it disappears. Perfectly good -- three days are not long. One can wait for the day that will be coming after three days. And don't feel that you are in a miserable state because only once in three days do you feel flowing. You should be happy! There are people who don't feel flowing and months pass, years pass, and there are people who have never felt flowing in their whole lives.

But just be true, and don't be diplomatic... and report to me after six weeks how you are flowing. But things are perfectly good.

We are all ordinary, but when love comes we all become extraordinary. Extraordinariness is nobody's quality; it is the happening of love, the miracle of love, the magic of love that makes people extraordinary. When you love a woman you transform her into an extraordinary being; when a woman loves you she transforms you into an extraordinary being. Then you are the most beautiful man in the world who has ever been and who will ever be; you are incomparable. Love has that alchemy, it transforms. It makes ordinary pebbles precious diamonds. But the whole secret is in contentment.
When you love you are contented, when you are happy you are contented, when you are silent you are contented. Then a small hut is as beautiful as a palace and poverty is richness.