I never thought I would write something too serious in public blogs.

I never thought I would find time to do so.

I am about to go to Italy, attend a wedding of a friend from College, about to see my best college mates again, about to have a holiday.

I should be psyched and over joyed about this trip.

Instead, I am more worried than ever.

Not because of the trip, maybe because of all the happenings recently and the unknown goings-to-happem.

My Mum always tells me to slow down, to take care of myself, to stop worrying like an old lady.

She is right.

She has been living all her life with a positive attitude. We lived in a rat's hole until I was 10, she did not complain. She took care of two kids by herself for quite some time, she did not complain. To the contrary, she takes joy in doing what she values best. She is so smart and beautiful.

But most of all, why could I not become like her? Why do I always take extra worries and stress, just for the sake of having them?

The truth is, you feel most hurt when you find out the veiled sides of people whom you trust. And as a rule of thumb, all these findings will come at the same time. Some revealing is less harmful than others. I could not sleep for so many nights now (so unlike me). It has been ages since I cried my eyes out till I could not even speak. It has been ages since I found the sofa hard to sleep on. It has been ages since I lost so much trust in other people. And it is just happening now, all at once.

I am going away from London, to a beautiful place called Lerici, to a beautiful wedding in a castle, seeing the beautiful couple exchanging vows and this, this is what I treasure, amid all the unfortunate things that have just happened.

And like the Beatles sing, "I feel fine".