Yesterday evening, three “banker” ladies and a guy, had a few drinks and dinner at St Katharine’s Docks. An evening that left me with some feelings and questions, will they, investment bankers, ever find happiness and satisfaction with what they’ve chosen?

Just to name a few,

D, who probably could now buy anything in the world, constantly swears and complains. Which super multi-star hotels that he hasn’t stayed at? Which top-rated classy restaurants that he hasn’t eaten at? But on and on, he complains about the food, in all countries, about the hotel suite just because probably the warm Scottish Cashmere inner duvet has a tiny wrinkle on it, about how other people cannot manage his time for him including sleeping time and toilet time (!?!), or about anything and everything.

C, a super duper successful woman in the industry, lives on her blackberry and remote-access computer at home, called in the office just several hours before her biggest moment in her life, as a woman, not as a boss. Nobody, to her, is capable.

There are people who are fed up with the job that quit. There are people who are fed up with the people that quit. Maybe there are people who are fed up with even the money that quit. Or simply, just with the way they are treated. At hearing all those complaints, at being taken credit away, and at the way human beings behave.

When it comes to decision, who is there to pin any blame on, if thing do not work out?

And what is happiness?

Is it a life where you can check your emails instantly, wherever and whenever? Is it a life where you can dine in the most expensive restaurant and stay at the most expensive hotel, wearing the most expensive clothes, calling the black cab any time of the day or night, flying business and drinking champagne, meeting other successful people and go to all sorts of high-class events like the Royal Ascot horse race, Wimbledon tennis, Champions League, Royal Ballet and Opera, the World Cup…, living in a 4-storey villa right in Chelsea or Sloane Square?

It does sound tempting and worthwhile. But why do those people who have got all that are still not happy and satisfied with themselves?

Let’s look at a life where you can cook a meal for your loved ones and all appreciate the moment, you can wear clothes that you like, including T-shirts, jeans, sweatshirts, not the ones that help to make you look expensive, taking the tube or cycling without being sneered at, flying economy to get to the place where you really want to be, not the place where you feel lonely in a large suite at night, meet your friends and be honest and open and have care-free fun, go to events to enjoy yourself, not to entertain someone else who you later on insult him for taking up your time and effort… and most of all, be happy?

But things ain’t easy and straightforward like that. That’s just an innocent way of thinking, and it will never work. Until then, people just have to put up with whatever they have to and aim and hope that someday, you can achieve all that your “heroes” have had, and still remain happy.

After all, it is not WHEN you feel happy, it is HOW you can feel happy.

Though I seem to be losing contacts of many friends, for various reasons (?), I know there are still the ones there that truly care and appreciate me, unconditionally. And only then have I become the happiest.

Especially to A, S, M, A, V, MB, Y… those that have been with me through thick and thin for the past few years. I treasure our friendship, love, and support for each other, day by day.

Besides, there is one person I really want to meet and just have coffee with, in a friendly way. Haven’t seen him for more than 2 years, and things are not the same as they used to be, but I still think there’s no reason why we cannot meet and be more open to the other? (Do you know that I am talking about you?)

Feelings come and go, quickly, so if you don’t write something down, they will just fall into oblivion. (A told me this!)