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I'm not lost for I know where I am

... but however, where I am ... may be lost

come



this is for all of you
who have loved someone who is now gone
someone who moved away
someone you moved away from
someone you can't get over
someone you loved during the summer
someone you loved during the winter
someone in the other side of the country
someone who is on the other side of the world
and this is for you
but until then
I'll keep on wanting you, who I can't have
because with the distance came this awful dam
and being in love
with one that I can't feel or hold or see or touch
I'm running around
hoping to find
somebody like
the girl that I left behind
who loved all of me
my fingers, bones, and scattered brain, and crooked teeth
I'm running around
hoping to find
somebody like my one though in time I'm sure
I'll grow to know
another's eyes another's laugh and skin and boneslove come and take me away with you

you say



you say:
yes.and you let this dream go on spinning, trying not to believe in it too much.
but believing in it anyway, wholeheartedly.
you cannot stop, you cannot stop this wild hope.
it feels reckless.
it feels good.


your sweetness



and to keep me from falling, to help me plant my
feet firmly on the ground, to continue fighting,
leaves to my heart the errant wine
and the implacable bread of your sweetness.



julia



half of what I say is meaningless
but I say it just to reach you, Julia

Julia, Julia, oceanchild, calls me
so I sing a song of love, Julia
Julia, seashell eyes, windy smile, calls me
so I sing a song of love, Julia

her hair of floating sky is shimmering, glimmering
In the sunJulia, Julia, morning moon, touch me
so I sing a song of love, Julia

when I cannot sing my heart
I can only speak my mind, Julia

Julia, sleeping sand, silent cloud, touch me
so I sing a song of love, Julia
... calls me
so I sing a song of love for Julia, Julia, Julia


drop the pilot



I'm right on target
my aim is straight
so you're in love
I say what of it
things can change
there's always changes
and I wanna try
some rearranging

drop the pilot
try my balloon
drop the monkey
smell my perfume
drop the mahout
I'm the easy rider
don't use your army
to fight a losing battle

animal
mineral
physical
spiritualI'm the one you need

you're kissing cousins
there's no smoke
no flame
if you lose that pilot
I can fly your plane
if you want solid ground
come on and try me
or I can take you so high
that you're never gonna wanna
come down




... because I was



you were disgusted with the women who were always speaking and looking,
and thinking for your approbation alone.
I roused, and interested you... because I was so unlike them.

your silent sadness



your silent sadness
makes you look into the
same mirrors over and over again

within you and without you



we were talking
about the space between us all
and people who hide themselves
behind a wall of illusion
never glimpse the truth
then it's far too late
when they pass away

we were talking
about the love we all could share
when we find it
to try our best to hold it there
with our love, with our love
we could save the world
if they only knew

try to realize it's all within yourself
no one else can make you change
and to see you're really only very small
and life flows on within you and without you

we were talking
about the love that's gone so cold
and the people who gain the world
and lose their soul
they don't know, they can't see
are you one of them

when you've seen beyond yourself
then you may find
peace of mind is waiting there
and the time will come
when you see we're all one
and life flows on within you and without you


beauty is




beauty is not caused. it is

- emily dickinson

never coming back




it was a crippling thing, this sensation that a huge hole had been punched through my chest, excising my most vital organs and leaving ragged, unhealed gashes around the edges that continued to throb and bleed despite the passage of time. rationally, I knew my lungs must still be intact, yet I gasped for air and my head spun like my efforts yielded me nothing. my heart must have been beating, too, but I couldn't hear the sound of my pulse in my ears; my hands felt blue with cold. I curled inward, hugging my ribs to hold myself together. I scrambled for my numbness, my denial, but it evaded me.
and yet, I found I could survive. I was alert, I felt the pain - the aching loss that radiated out from my chest, sending wracking waves of hurt though my limbs and head - but it was manageable. I could live through it. it didn't feel like the pain had weakened over time, rather that I'd grown strong enough to bear it

into the same water



you cannot go into the same water twice

- Plato


in this weather, in this windy storm



in this weather, in this windy storm

in this weather, in this windy storm
I'd never have sent the children out
they were carried ...
I could say nothing about ...

in this weather, in this roaring storm
I'd never have let the children out
I'd have been too afraid they'd fallen ill
just an idle thought it's now ...

in this weather, in this cruel storm
I'd never have let the children out
I'd be too worried they'd die the next day
but this isn't a concern for now ...

in this weather, in this cruel storm
I'd never have sent the children out
they were carried ...
I could say nothing about ...in this weather, this roaring, cruel storm
they rest as they did in their mother's house
they're not frightened anymore
and covered by the hand of God


often I think they only have stepped out



often I think they only have stepped out
and soon they'll reach home again!
the day is fair, don't be afraid,
maybe they've just taken the other way ...

yes, they've only stepped out
and will return home soon!
don't be so anxious - the day is fair and bright!
they've just taken the other way ...they're just a bit ahead from us
they won't ever get back home!
we'll catch up to them taking the other way
another day as fair and bright as now.


when your mother steps into the doorway



when your mother steps into the doorway

when your mother
steps into the doorway
and I turn my head
to look at her

my gaze does not alight
first on her face
but on a place
a little nearer to the threshold

there, where your dear face would be
when you'd step in
with brightest joy
as you used to ...

when your mother steps
into the doorway
with the a candle's gleam
it always seems
as if you came with her
slipping in from behind
just as you used to dooh ... you ...
how quickly you extinguish
my gleam of joy
... too soon.


now I see why such dark flames



now I see why such dark flames

now I see why such dark flames
are sparkling in my eyes so often
oh ... eyes

it was as if in one full glance
concentrating all your power

yet I couldn't see ... 'cause mists floating around me
woven by blinding fate
this beam of light was ready to be sent home
where all beams come from and where they have to go

you would have told me with your brilliance,
we would have gladly stayed near you!

but it's refused by fate!
just look at us, soon we will fade. what are eyes to you these days
in future nights are stars to us.


now the sun will rise as brightly



now the sun will rise as brightly

now the sun will rise as brightly
as if no misfortune occured the night

misfortune has fallen on me
the sun's still shining for everyone

don't keep the night inside you
immerse it in eternal lighta little light has been extinguished
be welcome, light of joy
be welcome


... life break



... felt sad because I realized that once people are broken in certain ways,
they can't ever be fixed,
and this is something nobody ever tells you when you are young and it
never fails to surprise you as you grow older as you see the people in your life break one by one.
you wonder when your turn is going to be, or if it's already happened.


... of ruby red



press my lips

into your tantalizingly open

mouth

stains of ruby redthe flow of our love charges from one to the other

you draw me in

lift me like a wisp on the wind

never letting your grip of me go



... in her corner



she sits in her corner
singing herself to sleep
wrapped in all of the promises
that no one seems to keep
she no longer cries to herself
no tears left to wash away
just diaries of empty pages
feelings gone astray
but she will sing

'til everything burns
while everyone screams
burning in their lies
burning my dreams
all of this hate
and all of this pain
I'll burn it all down
as my anger reigns
'til everything burns

walking through life unnoticed
Knowing that no one cares
too consumed in their masquerade
no one sees her there
and still she sings'til everything burns
while everyone screams
burning in their lies
burning my dreams
all of this hate
and all of this pain
I'll burn it all down
as my anger reigns

'til everything burns, everything burns
everything burns, everything burns
everything burns
watching it all fade away, all fade away
everyone screams
everyone screams, watching it all fade away

while everyone screams
burning down lies
burning my dreams
all of this hate
and all of this pain
I'll burn it all down
as my anger reigns
'til everything burns, everything burns
watching it all fade away

everything burns
watching it all fade away


... falling from



tears falling from the sky
words from a lullaby.
everything beautiful dies.for now we're hanging in.
even though we're blessed with sin.
you make my heart,
you make my tired heart sing.


there is ...



there’s a certain kind of pain that can numb you.
there’s a type of freedom that can tie you down.
sometimes the unexplained can define you.and sometimes the silence is the only sound.
in the book of life, the answers aren’t in the back.


... go for



don’t go for looks; they can deceive.
don’t go for wealth; even that fades way.go for someone who makes you smile because it only takes a smile
to make a dark day seem bright.
find the one that makes your heart smile.


... it takes



it takes time to live.
like any work of art,life needs to be thought about.


... would we



who would we allow ourselves to be if we weren’t burdened by loans and debts
and responsibilities?what would we do?
what would we accomplish?
what changes would we bring?
what dreams would we live?


... so easy



do battle against prejudice and discrimination wherever you find it.
be romantic.
let people know what you stand for and what you won’t stand for.
be insatiably curious.
ask “why” a lot.
measure people by the size of their hearts, not the size of their bank accounts.don’t forget, a person’s greatest emotional need is to feel appreciated.
don’t waste time grieving over past mistakes.
learn from them and move on.
keep your promises.
seek out the good in people.
take good care of those you love.


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