My OperaWithout a Bruise there is no Pain
Monday, February 6, 2012 1:44:41 PM
Yesterday, I went to Best Buy to shop for a TV. I barely watch TV, but I decided that I wanted one for my bedroom so that I could watch movies snuggled up in bed with my kids. I did not need a fancy one - just a basic, 20 inch TV with a DVD player. In making my choice, I had a few considerations - it must fit in the car and I had to be able to carry it up the stairs to my bedroom.
The Best Buy staff helped me put it into the front passenger seat of my car and demonstrated how to get it out when I got home. When I arrived, I backed up into my drive way and stopped with half of the car inside the garage so it would be much easier to carry into the house. I opened the door wide and pulled it out exactly like they demonstrated. I was alright - I had a good grip and even though box was extra-large, the weight felt manageable. As I moved towards the house, my foot got trapped and I tripped, falling flat onto my knees with the TV. OUCH! The pain was sharp and I was in serious agony. I was not sure I was going to be able to get up but after about a minute I not only got up but proceeded to move the TV into the house.
For a few brief moments, the pain felt like it vanished. And it was not until I sat down that my knees started to throb and swell. I called the people close to me to talk about my experience and warn them regarding the massive bruising that was bound appear in the morning. I told them I was sure to be black and blue in no time and that given the fall and the pain, it wasn't going to be a pretty sight. I received all kinds of suggestions: place ice on it, take anti-inflammatory treatment, have a drink. I had a drink and I went to bed early, raising my knees to an elevated position with a set of pillows.
I woke up in the morning to discover that the sharp pain had become a frequent, dull ache with high sensitivity to touch. I prepared myself as I lifted my pant leg to look at the bruising.
No bruising.
No bruising?!!! What do you mean no bruising?!!!I'm in pain! I experienced a very hard fall! I have to have bruising! Otherwise I do not have proof - proof of injury, proof of pain.
That’s what we do - we hang on to our injuries and embellish our pain. We transform it into a story, a drama, even an entire soap opera. We feed the agony, we water it, we develop it, and then make it a big deal so that we can have proof. Proof that will solicit concern from others. Proof that will cause them to take interest in us and be kind, and gentle, and understanding. Proof that will allow us to connect with people on an emotional level and enable us to feel fulfilled. It’s a quick fix simply because the truth is that people get sick of hearing about pain and agony over the long run - it is absolutely not a solid strategy for long term connectivity.
I laughed at myself when I realized how silly I was being. My thoughts quickly turned to gratitude that I would not be displaying any bruising next week in Florida by the pool. I decided that a unique form of proof was in order - proof of joy, proof of fun, proof of relaxation, proof of peace and happiness. This, I decided, is a far better approach to connect, one that will last a lifetime.
Kim Ades, MBA, President of Frame of Mind Coaching, is one of North America’s foremost experts on performance through thought management. By using her unique process of coaching through journaling, she works with clients to unveil and switch their thought patterns to ignite significant change and life transformation. She is now teaching this process to coaches all over the world for use with their clients. Visit www.frameofmindcoaching to sign up for your own free, secure, online journal.
The Best Buy staff helped me put it into the front passenger seat of my car and demonstrated how to get it out when I got home. When I arrived, I backed up into my drive way and stopped with half of the car inside the garage so it would be much easier to carry into the house. I opened the door wide and pulled it out exactly like they demonstrated. I was alright - I had a good grip and even though box was extra-large, the weight felt manageable. As I moved towards the house, my foot got trapped and I tripped, falling flat onto my knees with the TV. OUCH! The pain was sharp and I was in serious agony. I was not sure I was going to be able to get up but after about a minute I not only got up but proceeded to move the TV into the house.
For a few brief moments, the pain felt like it vanished. And it was not until I sat down that my knees started to throb and swell. I called the people close to me to talk about my experience and warn them regarding the massive bruising that was bound appear in the morning. I told them I was sure to be black and blue in no time and that given the fall and the pain, it wasn't going to be a pretty sight. I received all kinds of suggestions: place ice on it, take anti-inflammatory treatment, have a drink. I had a drink and I went to bed early, raising my knees to an elevated position with a set of pillows.
I woke up in the morning to discover that the sharp pain had become a frequent, dull ache with high sensitivity to touch. I prepared myself as I lifted my pant leg to look at the bruising.
No bruising.
No bruising?!!! What do you mean no bruising?!!!I'm in pain! I experienced a very hard fall! I have to have bruising! Otherwise I do not have proof - proof of injury, proof of pain.
That’s what we do - we hang on to our injuries and embellish our pain. We transform it into a story, a drama, even an entire soap opera. We feed the agony, we water it, we develop it, and then make it a big deal so that we can have proof. Proof that will solicit concern from others. Proof that will cause them to take interest in us and be kind, and gentle, and understanding. Proof that will allow us to connect with people on an emotional level and enable us to feel fulfilled. It’s a quick fix simply because the truth is that people get sick of hearing about pain and agony over the long run - it is absolutely not a solid strategy for long term connectivity.
I laughed at myself when I realized how silly I was being. My thoughts quickly turned to gratitude that I would not be displaying any bruising next week in Florida by the pool. I decided that a unique form of proof was in order - proof of joy, proof of fun, proof of relaxation, proof of peace and happiness. This, I decided, is a far better approach to connect, one that will last a lifetime.
Kim Ades, MBA, President of Frame of Mind Coaching, is one of North America’s foremost experts on performance through thought management. By using her unique process of coaching through journaling, she works with clients to unveil and switch their thought patterns to ignite significant change and life transformation. She is now teaching this process to coaches all over the world for use with their clients. Visit www.frameofmindcoaching to sign up for your own free, secure, online journal.
