Posts tagged with "life"
Thursday, November 22, 2012 6:00:53 PM
Happy Thanksgiving to those who celebrate it!
Happy regular day to the rest!
My laptop acted up last night and today and what a prank it was for it to assess the disk corrupt, claim it can't be fixed, and declare that reformatting and restoring from backup were in order. Turned out the disk got repaired and I tweeted I'm grateful for it:
This is the short-term gratefulness and there are other things I am deeply grateful for: I am healthy and literate in a country where life is good, I have a family of good people, I have a son whom I love from the bottom of my unfathomable heart, I live with his sweet father, I have a job I live for and colleagues who are kind, talented, dedicated, funny that I admire them. This is a fraction of the things I am grateful for. Today I thought about them, and I'm thankful.
Saturday, April 9, 2011 4:16:48 PM
Hypnosis was a discussion topic at work the other day. I once blogged about how hypnosis had failed to help me with snowphobia. This was an epic session and funny, come to think of it. But I never wrote about the power of hypnosis. And I am now, because I was once successfully hypnotised.
It was some time during the summer of 1999, during a family vacation in Crete. The family of my boyfriend of the time. His father's occupation was psychologist with a skill for hypnosis. I was regularly plagued with massive headaches. I had tried to cut down on coffee without visible effects. He offered to try hypnosis on me and I agreed. I don't recall very much of the session.
He made me lay on a bed in a quiet room and he sat on a chair next to me. He made me close my eyes and listen to him. He said I wouldn't fall asleep but the state I would be in would be very close. He said I would remember everything. It was true, but I gradually forgot, years after years.
I think is lasted less than a half hour. Near the end, he said my headaches were taken care of. He added they may return and if they did, we were about to work on how to make them go away. He instructed me to think of one word, and to remember it. Then the session was over. I went back to performing my vacation activities, a little dubious.
I didn't have a single headache for many months and when I had one, it wasn't massive like before, and it was rare.
As to the magic word that he made me think of —a word that I invented at the time— it still works even today. I don't have to say it, I just have to think of it, say it in my head, and the headache disappears within seconds. It's wonderful.
Tuesday, November 25, 2008 3:15:15 PM
This is an entry on snowphobia and a failed hypnosis session some years ago.
I have snowphobia. I like snow (although it's cold and I prefer things hot :). It's walking and driving on slippery surfaces that freak me out.
There was a very local hailstorm over the Sophia Antipolis area last night and when I drove to the office this morning I was surprised the area was all white. At first it was beautiful. I was safely driving on ploughed roads.
But at the round-about near the office, the ice was there to meet my tires and it was no longer beautiful but unnerving. I did well. I "beached" my car where I could, blocking two others (leaving a note to the attention of the owners with my cellphone number on it, and it was tempting to add "and please, move my car yourself if it's in your way" ;).
This reminds me of the failed hypnosis session that occured back in December 2004. Being impaired by my phobia, I did the sensible thing and made an appointment with a doctor who practiced hypnosis.
He made me sit on a comfortable leather armchair, rest my hands on my thighs, close my eyes and listen to his monotonous and quiet voice.
He made me imagine I was in a place I like and I was feeling good about it. So I was on a large beach of white sand, taking a nice walk and enjoying the warm breeze, the small number of people (at a good distance) and the melodic sound of the waves.
Then he made me go in my car for an enjoyable ride. He said it was starting to rain but I was safe. The rain was light and I was comfortable driving. Then I drove down a slope and I was still safe, and I was still enjoying myself. Then he made me go back to the beach.
I got off the car and was to transfer my fears on framed pictures. I was to carry the pictures to the air balloon that was moored on the beach. I carried the frames and put them in the basket. I cut the moorings and saw the air balloon lifting up.
At this point my friend Dino suddenly appeared in the basket and was waving bye bye, smiling at me!
I backtracked quickly to the previous scene so as to re-do it again, Dino-free. But there he was again! appearing in the basket of the air balloon and waving bye bye while smiling.
That was the end of the session. Too bad it was ruined so close to the end!
The doctor was confident that would do it. But in case I was still frightened to drive on frozen surfaces or snow, I was to schedule another appointment with him. I am still very uncomfortable with snow, ice and all slippery surfaces, but I never scheduled another appointment.
Saturday, July 26, 2008 2:45:03 PM
An ambitious title for such a small consideration, really.
A while ago, a colleague of mine and I were reflecting on the numerous things we forget about our babies and how these moments, as they happen, seem unforgettable.
I am glad I log many facts on Adrien's life (among which, his blog), and there are the photos I take and the videos too.
Friday, December 7, 2007 1:48:00 AM
Nine months ago, I had no idea that the words meconium, vernix or colostrum existed. I knew about labour, epidural, delivery, but the notions were very abstract.
My son is now fast asleep. We've been back home for a week. The hospital kept us for 6 long days ; Adrien had lost more than the usual 10% of his birth weight. He was born on 23 November at 7:37 p.m., 13 days ago. That was less than a half hour after they took me to the delivery room and an hour after we arrived at the hospital. There was no time for an epidural, as I made it all the way to 9 centimeters by the time I got there. I thought I might have the baby in the car! We left home in a hurry. It was time to go, suddenly, as the contractions were happening every two minutes. All day I had had them, every 10 or 15 minutes, sometimes every 5 minutes, but not for two hours. I had had them the night before too. In fact, they started in the afternoon the day before. I was attending the last birth preparation class and I started to experience contractions in the middle of it.
I had a wonderful and easy pregnancy. I was hardly tired and the only nuisance, really, was having to go to the doctor's every month. Only three weeks before the end did I start to walk at a slower pace. I was still at work 2 weeks before the end (only I thought I would have three weeks).
Adrien arrived a week in advance, on 23 November 2007, at 7:37 pm. He weighed 2,990 kg and was 49,5 cm tall. His father held my hand and encouraged me through it all. And since then, he's been as fantastic as ever, helping me and supporting me with the baby.
Thursday, September 13, 2007 9:30:12 AM
"Gipsy, give me your tears!"
On my way back to the pharmacy just now, a gipsy talked to me. Dude, that was so weird!
I *must* blag about it ;)
She said I would travel abroad, but not just now. Well, I didn't say, but the taxi picks me up in 10 minutes to go to the airport; I'm going to Boston for a few days, for work.
She told me to remember the number "19" because it is going to be important in the upcoming months.
She asked me if the initials M J F meant anything to me and I said no. But she said I should keep them in mind because they will matter soon.
Then she gave me a white plastic "stone" from the Saintes-Marie de la Mer, where she comes from). It's ugly. She said people must treat gipsies right (and she meant "generously"), so I gave her 5 euros. She must have thought she was in potentially good compagny, so she went on and read my palm.
She said I was lucky and other stuff and that I had an excellent memory (wrong!)
She asked me if I had undergone surgery in my life and I said no, and she said I never would. Amen.
That's when she said it usually costs EUR 20 to 30 for palm reading. She was _that_ close to add "otherwise the predictions don't work", I'm sure.
I didn't give her any more money but I'll slip the plastic thingie in my bag, just in case ;)
Update: I just thought I'd mention that the flight attendant, seeing I was pregnent, moved me from a seat at row 11 (exit) to row... 19!
No update on MJF.
Wednesday, August 29, 2007 10:09:13 AM
On the way to lunch yesterday, I was chatting with a colleague and learnt she's moving house this Friday to a tiny town I used to live in back in 2004. Pretty soon in the conversation we found out she's moving exactly in the house I was in! How odd is that?!
I found out that my yucca is still there, healthy, right in front of the living room windows. I had inherited this yucca years ago, in 2000, I think, when a former W3C colleague left for the US and A. This yucca followed me in all the houses I've been in since then (5 different houses) and I left it in the garden of this house when I left. It was obviously in an ideal spot. When my ex moved out of the house a few months ago, he didn't have the heart to unearth the yucca. My colleague will take good care of it, I'm certain.
I also found out that my garden dwarf is still there! Well, it's now in the basement and she's more than happy to give it back to me. What a coincidence! I'm still marvelling at it.
This dwarf also has a story. I received it as a birthday gift in 2002, a joke that I deeply enjoyed. Actually it's a birthday gift that I shared with my ex boyfriend and when I left, I left the garden dwarf, Gringoire. I thought he had left the house with him. Gringoire must be far less shiny now and his colours must have worn off a bit. I'll see soon.
Update 05sep2007: Indeed, far less shiny with worn out colours, but it's Gringoire, all right!
Sunday, April 29, 2007 10:19:10 PM
I was reminded of a phobia that I have had for as long as I remember. I meant to look the word up and Amy found it: Chaetophobia, the fear of hair. I don't know how to pronounce it, but I can certainly describe my own version of the phobia.
When I was a kid and my mum was bathing me, I was terrified of floating hair in the water. So I already had long hair at the time. I remember curling up as far as I could from these long, threatening, floating and offensive threats. My word was "thread", as in "there is a thread". My mother had to remove the floating "thread(s)" from the water.
Now I don't curl up so much, but I'm still really bugged by the occasional strand(s) of detached hair. A lot.
I don't mind attached hair at all. How funny to make the distinction.
Sunday, March 18, 2007 4:55:10 AM
Amy and I mentioned inner worlds in a conversation the other day. Mine has music as a background. It is pretty much like the outer world, I reckon. Well, no, scratch this. It's messier.
My inner world has loads of samples of music. When I stop and think about it, I can pinpoint what song, or what melody. And I can trace why this particular one is in my head, most of the time. There is something else than music. There are sounds. Sounds that I heard. They repeat in my head until another sound worth of being repeated takes over. They are jingles. They can be short sentences too. Either ones I've just heard, or ones that I constructed myself. Either I'm practicing my side of the conversation in my head, or it's just my thoughts or bits of my thoughts that play. I move on to thinking about something else, or doing something else, and if I pause, a jingle is still playing. It's not bothering me.
But there are occasions when this is bothering me. For example, when I'm under stress and I'd love to focus on something else than the music or the jingle. Impossible. It's as though the volume is turned all the way up, and any thinking relevant to the conversation or situation at hand is banned from the setting.
In an effort to put a name on this tendency to reproduce jingles and sentences or play them in my heard, I looked up the "symptoms". The closest I found was echolalia.
Echolalia: The involuntary parrotlike repetition (echoing) of a word or phrase just spoken by another person. Echolalia is a feature of schizophrenia (especially the catatonic form), Tourette syndrome, and some other disorders. From echo + the Greek lalia, a form of speech.
In a book by Robert J. Waldinger, "Psychiatry for Medical Students", the part on "Thought Process" ( chapter four, "The Mental Status Examination") is particularly interesting. I think perseveration applies to me.
Rate and flow of idea. Patients frequently use the term racing thoughs to describe being flooded with ideas and unable to keep up with them. This condition is often seen with anxiety as well as in those with psychosis (e.g. mania, schizophrenia.)
Circumstantiality involves thinking that is indirect in reaching a goal or getting to the point. This style is common in obsessional people and in schizophrenic patients.
Blocking is a sudden obstruction or interruption on the spontaneous flow of thought, perceived by the patient as an absence or deprivation of thought. It is seen in patients with schizophrenia and in those with severe anxiety states.
Perseveration is the tendency to emit the same verbal response again and again to varied stimuli. This may range from constant repetition of one word or phrase (e.g. "night and day, night and day, night and day...") to an inabilit to shift fhe focus of conversation away from one particular topic.
Other abnormalities of though process. Abnormalities of thought process may include the following:
Neologisms are new words or condensations of several words that are not readily understood by others. This disturbance is seen in patients with schizophrenia and organic brain syndromes (e.g. a paranoid man used "plickening" to mean "the plot thickens").
Word salad is a jumble of words and phrases lacking comprehensive meaning or logical coherence. It is characteristic of patients with schizophrenia.
Echolalia is a parrotlike repetition of another person's speech. It is observed in patients with mania, among other disorders."
Now I'd love to hear about others' inner worlds :)
Wednesday, January 17, 2007 8:08:02 PM
There are precious things that I want close. And others that I need away.
I found that one of these belongs in a small treasure box that is made of glass.
And that it's better kept away from sight.
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