My OperaMay 2, 2011
Monday, May 2, 2011 5:21:23 PM
Stealinga minute to write a quick update. Nurse on Friday indicated Dad's days are more numbered than we thought. He is spending alot of time resting, but he so enjoyed visitors last week and weekend. I don't know how he will be this week after some needed rest. There was lots of excitement while Jayson, Anellise and Eric were here. Jayson didn't get the best quality days, but we have been told now that he will only have good moments, not good days. So we celebrated when Dad was up, asking for food, eating, visiting.
Eric and Anellise provided so much fun! And they made Dad laugh, sing and tease. As dad was singing with us, I think he felt better....the strain seemed to ease. They say laughter and music will soothe, and I think we saw this. Also visiting dad last Friday was Craig Hughes, and his laughter and chatter made dad smile.
He does get confused from time to time. He asks for those who are away. I had to remind him that Arlo went home. Beverly will be coming this week. He asks if Tracy has called. I know this is hard for everyone, but even if Dad can't talk, he needs to know we are all thinking about him. I mentioned writing him a letter, and I really encourage doing that. I had written one, and found out he hadn't read it, so I read it to him on Saturday. It really engaged him, and we had a wonderful visit afterwords. Dad made reference to the Graham temper....I was a little surprised, but we talked about when mom gets mad at me, and he said it was the Graham temper, and that is where it comes from. Explains why Grandma Graham seemed so calm. Dad agreed with that, but noted that she had too much interest in material things. I found that an interesting commentary, as he has been acknowleding weaknesses in family members I hadn't heard about before. So far I have learned that:
His dad was a wanderer, and if Grandma Taylor hadn't put her foot down, wouldn't have held onto the farmland, and probably lost everything. He said he was always that way.
His mom was social when younger...kept up with the neighbors well, talking on the phone, and visiting. She was responsible for forcing Cleo to connect with people.
He describes Cleo as reserved. Not even he feels close to her. That really surprised me.
But he also has good things to say. Not all is negative. He is worried about mom, worried about Tracy, Bev, all of us. He wants us all to be happy, and worried that we are all of the nature that we are easy to take advantage of by others. Too kind hearted, all of us! Easy marks. He talkecd about how great the grandkids are. I was worried Dad didn't realize Jayson was here, he was not doing well during most of his visit. But he specifically commented on what a good young man Jayson has turned out to be. He doesn't elaborate much, but he talks about how good all of us are.
I'm not sure we have months left with Dad. It's probably just weeks now. We all need to be prepared. I keep grieving over and over again, but so grateful I am close. Mom doesn't think I need to be staying with them yet, but also not sure if she can manage to the end by herself. Dad is getting much weaker, with much weight loss, and unable to eat much. He did eat an egg both Friday after noon and Saturday morning. And some milk shake with extra nutients added.
Continue prayers for a peaceful exit. Pain is constant, even with the best combination of medicine.
Eric and Anellise provided so much fun! And they made Dad laugh, sing and tease. As dad was singing with us, I think he felt better....the strain seemed to ease. They say laughter and music will soothe, and I think we saw this. Also visiting dad last Friday was Craig Hughes, and his laughter and chatter made dad smile.
He does get confused from time to time. He asks for those who are away. I had to remind him that Arlo went home. Beverly will be coming this week. He asks if Tracy has called. I know this is hard for everyone, but even if Dad can't talk, he needs to know we are all thinking about him. I mentioned writing him a letter, and I really encourage doing that. I had written one, and found out he hadn't read it, so I read it to him on Saturday. It really engaged him, and we had a wonderful visit afterwords. Dad made reference to the Graham temper....I was a little surprised, but we talked about when mom gets mad at me, and he said it was the Graham temper, and that is where it comes from. Explains why Grandma Graham seemed so calm. Dad agreed with that, but noted that she had too much interest in material things. I found that an interesting commentary, as he has been acknowleding weaknesses in family members I hadn't heard about before. So far I have learned that:
His dad was a wanderer, and if Grandma Taylor hadn't put her foot down, wouldn't have held onto the farmland, and probably lost everything. He said he was always that way.
His mom was social when younger...kept up with the neighbors well, talking on the phone, and visiting. She was responsible for forcing Cleo to connect with people.
He describes Cleo as reserved. Not even he feels close to her. That really surprised me.
But he also has good things to say. Not all is negative. He is worried about mom, worried about Tracy, Bev, all of us. He wants us all to be happy, and worried that we are all of the nature that we are easy to take advantage of by others. Too kind hearted, all of us! Easy marks. He talkecd about how great the grandkids are. I was worried Dad didn't realize Jayson was here, he was not doing well during most of his visit. But he specifically commented on what a good young man Jayson has turned out to be. He doesn't elaborate much, but he talks about how good all of us are.
I'm not sure we have months left with Dad. It's probably just weeks now. We all need to be prepared. I keep grieving over and over again, but so grateful I am close. Mom doesn't think I need to be staying with them yet, but also not sure if she can manage to the end by herself. Dad is getting much weaker, with much weight loss, and unable to eat much. He did eat an egg both Friday after noon and Saturday morning. And some milk shake with extra nutients added.
Continue prayers for a peaceful exit. Pain is constant, even with the best combination of medicine.
merlin mcfarlandmerlinmcfarland # Tuesday, May 3, 2011 5:33:09 PM
I think the weather is on its way to improving in the future.
Was glad Craig Hughes stopped to visit. We got aquinted with
him when he helped in the kitchen at South Hamilton school and Barbara worked there too. We liked him so well, that when he
started at the ASC office and we liked the staff so well at that time, that we wanted to treat them with cream puffs that we were making by request at that time. I asked him how many worked there, so we would know how many to deliver, and he said
about 1/2 of them. He enjoyed his little jokes and having fun.
Just a fun memory that we share, and I think we all have memories to share. We have many of you and Willma stopping in when you were in Jewell,and Willma leaving her purse among other things,which we always enjoyed.
As ever, Merlin and Barbara.