Kazuki's diary

Lack of Consideration

The third cause of negative feelings comes from feeling that some is not giving you the recognition you deserve. My trainer Mack Newton says, "You shouldn't worry about what people think about you." Explaining further, he says, "Because if you knew how little they did think about you, you would be worried. People are thinking more about what they'll have for lunch than they think about you." Mack also says, "if you tell ten people about your problem, seven don't care and three are glad you have the problem."

Solution:

Give what you want. If you feel any kind of lack, for example, a act of recognition, lack of love, lack of happiness, lack of money, it could be that you are not giving what you want. For example:

• If you want a smile, start smiling.
• If you want a hug, give a hug.
• If you want recognition, give others recognition.
• If you want money, give money to your favorite charity.
• If you want a punch in the mouth, throw the first punch.

If you want more recognition, give those recognition. One of the more valuable lessons I learned in military school was to take responsibility for things that go wrong and give credit for your success to others. Nothing makes others feel better than when you say:

Thank you for the award, but I want to recognize my team because they did the hard work.

George, the last project was very successful due to your extra effort. I want you to take a higher profile on the next project.

Giving others recognition for your success is one of the most powerful tools in any person's set of communication skills. When you give recognition to others, especially for your success, you'll be surprised at how much more successful you'll become.

Even when criticizing, a little recognition can go a long way. For example, " Dave, it's hard to end this business relationship. It's not been easy for both of us. Yet, I want to thank you for all that you have done for me in the past, and I wish you only success in the future. I am sure you will be an asset for the next company you work for. If you need a reference, I'd be happy to give you a strong recommendation."

A word of caution: Be sure the recognition is real and sincere. Phony recognition comes from phony people.

to be continued...
Robert Kiyosaki,