I'm Just Being..... Me!!!

Sigh!

I'm not going to bother with giving greetings or anything like that.
Happy hour died with last year.
My blog is my diary of my personal stories or whatever i decide to type here.
With that said,i'm going to throw all troubles,events,etc onto the wind.
This basically a venting blog,so if you don't want to read it,just please leave my page.
Arigatou gozaimashita

2011 is already in full effect and new years resolutions were made at the beginning of the year.
Most of which will be broken within a month's time.
Sorry,that's the truth.
I vowed at the beginning of the year to atone for all my sins of last year and to lead a carefree attitude.
Turns out,i upheld my first goal,but being carefree is a bit difficult.
Ima Nigatsu and i'm still broken down because of the past year's beatdown.lol
What a loser i am.

Most of you(if you haven't friended me on facebook) don't know i was hospitalized a few weeks back.
Last year was a rude awaking for me.
People aren't always who they appear to be and that mask he/she wears can fool even the intelligent mind.
Back in late November/early December,something happened and it caused my stress level to really push the limits within my body and i actually never quite recovered from that.

When that event took place,confusion,pain,doubt,betrayal,and resentment wrecked my mind,body,and heart.
Really!I spent the remainder of December looking for answers to all those lingering questions and unknown to me was the fact that,all that searching and hurting was indeed damaging my body.
Days went by and i started experiencing sharp,unbearable pain on the left side of my chest and i had a very hard time breathing.
So i would drink a glass of water and go out for some fresh air,but the problems reoccurred.
It finally all came to a new high 3 weeks ago when Megumi and I were shopping in Harajuku,i felt fine at first,just laughing and enjoying my time with a dear friend,the suddenly,everything went silent around me and i lost my breath and passed out.
I stayed in the hospital for about 2 weeks and i was diagnosed with Bradycardia.

My resting heart rate was said to be at 34 beats per minute.
Doctor said that i could've gone into cardiac arrest,suffered a stroke,or died due to lack of oxygen.
So test were done on my heart to see if it was just an on and off irregular heart beat pattern,but it was discovered that my resting heart rate says at 34 per minute.
I have a weak heart or so it seems and some kind of form of heart diaease(no matter what fancy name you call it)
So yeah!Ol Asian boy isn't do too well these days.

I have to cut back on my many physical activities,keep my stress at a minimum,and most of all...some other pointless stuff.
Am i bummed about having a heart diaease?Totally!
My great grandfather and my father all died due to heart diaease,so why not be worried.
Will i bury my head in the sand and wait for my doomsday?HELL NO!!
I'm going to live everyday as if it were my last.lol

But in all seriuous-ness
Please,i beg to all of you...
If you don't like me,you don't have to pretend to be my friend to just give me a sense of security.
I would rather be hated upfront than have a false friendship masked with hatred.
I had enough of pretenders following me,just to toss me aside and then take on half of my personality.
If this description sounds oddly like you,Best believe i'm talking about you,Fuckhead!
No longer will i play dumb to all the childishness,no longer will i befriend shihito*
You really want to be Kyo's friend,be my friend.Don't fuck around with me and then toss me out when something else catches your eye.I'm not an object,i'm a person.Sure i'm a bit weird,naughty,witty,stupid,humble,child-like,too friendly,over caring,loving,a giver,flirty,shy,etc.If you can't deal with me the way i am,you'll never be able to deal with me forever.I'd appreciate if you never associate yourself with me.
Arigatou Gozaimashita.

For those i actually do really love here...Radzma,Kenshi,Light,Ichimaru,Miko,Raiku,Kimmy,Nao,Eric,Sef,Juri,Esther,Angel,Pan pan,Gia...and the others who knows their names belong here.I thank you all for being true and honest with me.I never had a doubt on anyone of you and i love you guys with all i am,not just my heart,i give you my life.Nothing less.
Stay true and never succumb to the foolishness that lies before your eyes.Itsumo keep your eyes open to the world and people around you.Figure out who really loves you for you and not for what you have.Deny all prentenders and vanish all who dare to falter.

That is all.
Mr.nice guy has officially left the building
Baibai

*"shihito" literally "dead person" because the word is made of two different words,but it's a nickname my friends give to people who walk with a sense of worth higher than the rest,but yet,is so foolish to the happenings around them.