Kei - The Clown Master - Murasaki Futoshi

Murasaki Futoshi

Tuesday, May 24, 2011 8:07:44 PM

紫太志(Murasaki Futoshi)my best friend and my greatest teacher.

Born May 17 1985 on a Rainy day.
Murasaki Futoshi-san was given to the world.
An existence full of the unexpected and surprising.

Murasaki and I met in my third year of elementary school
We both attended Hibiya High School.
Since then,my life as i knew before changed so much.

I would've done this blog on May 17th,but due to being busy,i couldn't get around to it.
Sorry Murasaki

Anywhoooooooooooooooo

I decided to do a post about a man that gave me a view of life
A man that taught me so much in such a short period of time.
This is dedicated to you,Futoshi.

Ah!where do i start?....hahahaha
Ok,i know where to fly with this.lol
As you all can see *points to the picture above*
It's my buddy Futoshi.
You may ask yourselves "why is his head drawn so big?"

Well,i used to tease Futoshi about having a large head for such a thin neck.kyahahaha!
He would get mad and then cool down and say something sharp as.."maybe i was given a large head to carry around my vast library of knowledge.Dwell on that as you wise crack,Shinobu."

Futoshi,you big headed jerk.lol.
We used to tease each other alot,like,he would say i was too thin to be seen to the visible eye or my hair was so long that he once considered calling me kyoko-san,rather than kyo.

馬鹿野郎！！

Futo and i were the best of friends,since we were not really socially outgoing as the rest of our mates in school.hahaha.
反社会的 some might called us!!hahaha.
No matter,the other kids couldn't understand our advanced thinking.

During our time spent in Hibiya High School,we would hang out alot at Hibiya koen and Akihabara.
JUst chilling out and resting our minds from school work and it was very mentally refreshing.
Pushing all that aside to reveal the more serious affect Futo had on my life is what i will now talk about.

At age 9,Futoshi was told he had a brain tumour and he was always uncertain of his lifespan.
Rather being sad of such news,Futo devoted his time to life and the people he let live it with him.
At age 11,Satsuki Kitagawa,Futoshi's mother passed away from breast cancer.
He was grieving for almost 4 months,but he figured that,by keeping active,the pain would subdue,so
he taught himself to play the saxophone.
Everyday i visited his home,he was sitting on the floor practicing his saxophone.
I remembered asking him if he wanted to go for a walk and all he would say is "soon"
Odd was is what i was thinking all the long while waiting for that walk and it never happened,but it wasn't like i didn't expect that behaviour.
One thing about his mother's home that struck me as surprising was the fact that he left it exactly as his mother had it the day she departed this world.
The window open,her bed unkept,her television set to one station and her ningyo dolls set on the family room table.
It became obvious that Futo thought if he left the home as is,his mother's spirit would dwell once again there,but i had to remind him that he couldn't dwell so long in the past,otherwise he would lose his present form to a bleak future and a never ending past of waiting.
I was finally able to convince him to help me clean his home and we spent an entire saturday and sunday doing so.
As we took a break from the cleaning process,i remember the room being filled with the sound of silence and the chirping of the birds outside,but it was soon followed by a question Futoshi had.
He looked at me and said "is this our life's plan?" and i was abit confused and asked him what was he inquiring and he went on to say "is our life's goal to just live a world of wants and aspirations,just so one day it can all be taken away within a blink of the eye?a split second?isn't life just one cruel game being controlled by the handler of fate and our every action is a preplanned step into death?
Me being 11 and naive to such a question,i was left wandering myself and pondering how could one answer such reflecting question...
I found a simple answer
"No",i said,"we are destined for much greater,right?we control our own fate and stop with such depressing questions."
He looked at me and laughed...

Fast forward to what i want to really talk about.
the year 2000,one year after i lost my father
I was in a state of severe depression,yet i found strength to attend school,somedays.
Anyways...
during that time,i noticed a more serious side to Futoshi and this character he has become was the beginning of my self discovery.
After school,Futoshi and i would walk to Hibiya koen(park) and just spend hours talking about life,death,work,the world,etc.
One winter day,Futo and I sat at Hbiya koen for nearly seven hours in deep conversation.
This conversation stands out to me more than any other i had in my lifetime.

The conversation stated by Futo asking if my heart was healed of grieving and i replied no.
We didn't make eye contact throughout that talk but it felt so intense
anyways
He said to me "four years without my mother has been a weird journey,but the fact i still breathe is a direct indication of my will to walk life without weak legs.Shinobu,your father departed last year around this time and one year later,you sit as if he left everyday since then.Do you think your father would want to look into those eyes and sense the sadness that you have due to his presence of physically being here is gone,huh?Do you think it's fair to hold on to such sadness and his memory at the same length of time?Doing so makes it seems as if he is the source of your sadness,which you probably never considered since you've spent so long dwelling on the past.Remember your father is a ray of light that shines with happiness,rather than pain."

I remember laughing and calling him the biggest fool for such comments,but he continued.

"Shinobu,what are you?paint or water?"

Such a question would spark a natural huh? or what?lol.which was my reaction.
He continued...

"Are you paint or water?Do you mindlessly blend with the world to feel accepted due to false perception?or do you forge your own path through hardship and originality,in which one's true color paints the world in his or her liking?
look at my appearance mentally and physically,many piercings,a mask that covers my lower face,my liking of dark coloured clothing and my mentality of never giving into the world around me.what do i most resemble to you?paint or water?"

Just by his description of himself,he's clearly a paint.He too loud to be water and any form.lol.
But that made me think of myself and who i am as a human.
Where do i stand amongst the public society?
Do i lead or follow?
Having a personal name that belongs only to me,but do i define Shinobu Kyousuke or does the world define me?
He's words had the power to send one into inner chaos because his deep thinking was a gifted curse.
Back then at that time,i had no clear answer to him,because i was just floating along.
Futo told me to keep a positive heart,a sound mind,direct eyes,honest tongue,and wise ears.
Give the world your individual best and never give less as someone's copy.
Love with a passion,Hate nothing,cherish the lives that influence,touch those without direction.
We are here to walk life with glory and respect,not to run and burn out in a minute's blaze red
Walk with me and lets fill and inspire hearts to live to their full talents.

That night was a defining moment for me and i can recount every word he spoke as if i'm hearing for first time yo!
Since that day,he spent each day teaching a new aspect of life and i was soaking it all in,because is was so intriguing.
After almost a year of teachings from him,my life expanded and i had a wiser view of life at the age of 15.
I was still a depressed person,but i lightened up due to his teachings.

On July 3,2001,Murasaki Futoshi died due to complications.
We always knew that his time was short,because he spoke it from his own mouth and it was so hard not to trust in anything he says.
I tried to ignore his warnings and signs of his life ending,but in the back of my mind,it was still haunting me.
July 3rd he couldn't fight anymore and he passed on his duties and knowledge to me.
He was hard accepting my best friend and teacher was no longer here to guide me,but it proved to be a turning point in my life.
I head to man my own journey and find who i am through self exploration.

2011 May 20th,
Here i am,26 years of age,an assistant mangaka,and krazy as hell.

Alot has changed over the course of 12 years.
I'm older and wiser to my world and i can stand here with my chest out,head high,and my vocal roaring with the sea
I can now answer your question and forgive me for taking so long,buddy.

Murasaki Futoshi,I am paint!

For 11 years i've been painting this world the way i see it with my own two eyes and i can truly thank you for making realize my own strengths.
You were my best friend,my greatest teacher,and my biggest rival(even though i could never reach you

)
One thing that i have close to me everyday of my life that remains my promise in upholding my teachings you passed on,is the MASK!!!hahaha!!
Never take it off no matter the occasion,well only if it's prohibited,then i'll wear it across my nose.

Arigatou Gozaimashita!!!For everything!You will never be forgotten.
I love you!!

Rest now brother.

baibai

I StandKyou-Ni-Verse

Comments

1 2 Next »

Moonlighthiphopfan # Wednesday, May 25, 2011 8:15:42 PM

Well this is a sad story but i liked reading this. I'm sry about your friend.

Kei - The Clown Masterkyosuke316 # Monday, May 30, 2011 7:25:18 PM

It's been quiet some time yo!!i told you not to be a stranger!!

ah,it's cool.i really miss him,but he's forever with me in my heart and everything i do positive that he's inspired.

thanks for reading.

Moonlighthiphopfan # Monday, May 30, 2011 7:54:59 PM

xD sorry bro

i havent bothered to come on much lately aha. But im back now so no need to be sad

yeah, i can relate to u on that. But if u want to know how then i guess u can mail me.

your welcome, kyo. ;D i like reading your blogs the most out of everyone im friends with on here lol.

Moonlighthiphopfan # Monday, May 30, 2011 7:55:42 PM

Just wondering; have u got a ps3?

Kei - The Clown Masterkyosuke316 # Tuesday, May 31, 2011 3:51:47 AM

awwwwwwwwwww!*hugs* that's such a huge compliment yo!!

i'm glad u enjoy my blogs.

i'll probably mail u later this week about it.

WELCOME HOME!!!

Kei - The Clown Masterkyosuke316 # Tuesday, May 31, 2011 3:53:34 AM

nope!no ps3 yet!

sad to say,i don't even play games anymore.all my time goes to manga

Moonlighthiphopfan # Tuesday, May 31, 2011 12:20:00 PM

*hugz back* haha its cool

lol kool and i'll be here when you do (i think

)

good to be back, theres no place better than home

aww D: buy one!! XD

Kei - The Clown Masterkyosuke316 # Saturday, June 4, 2011 5:38:07 AM

not even sure if you'll be here!!

do i need to beat u with a cloud?>.< tsk tsk!!

and i'll buy one when i feel like it!!!<----excuse because i'm bone dry broke yo!!

Moonlighthiphopfan # Saturday, June 4, 2011 4:15:44 PM

gassp :O how culd u say tht!

ill beat u wit my hand

riiiight *whistles*

Kei - The Clown Masterkyosuke316 # Monday, June 6, 2011 8:14:22 PM

i say what i please and dos what i does.lol.

oh my gawd!!!i could you beat me with your hand if i'm untouchable!word life!

leeeeeeeeeft *whistles*

Cha4@niacha # Monday, June 6, 2011 9:04:14 PM

visiting my friend,,,how are you kyo?

Moonlighthiphopfan # Monday, June 6, 2011 10:04:11 PM

haha lmaooo

im unforgettable n dnt u forget it

middleee *whistles*

Kei - The Clown Masterkyosuke316 # Tuesday, June 7, 2011 1:43:45 AM

Originally posted by niacha:

visiting my friend,,,how are you kyo?

yay!!i missed you so much,Nia!!!*hugz* i've been well,just busy blogging and working.lol.how are you?

Kei - The Clown Masterkyosuke316 # Tuesday, June 7, 2011 1:46:37 AM

Originally posted by hiphopfan:

haha lmaooo

im unforgettable n dnt u forget it

middleee *whistles*

you're unforget-a-what?

um...ummmmmm....upper left cornerrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

Moonlighthiphopfan # Tuesday, June 7, 2011 5:37:37 PM

noone wuld 4get bout me

upper right

Kei - The Clown Masterkyosuke316 # Thursday, June 9, 2011 6:19:37 AM

my thumb doesn't know your name!

hey hey!!don't go gettin all bent out of shape

Cha4@niacha # Thursday, June 9, 2011 7:37:08 AM

nice to hear that you well as I am

miss you too *big hugz*

Moonlighthiphopfan # Thursday, June 9, 2011 10:57:56 PM

u kno wut my name is foo! (D)

［LeiGh］yuuki14 # Friday, June 17, 2011 12:49:55 AM

My, that makes me feel human. You've touched a nerve..

I believe reading about ur brothers passing helped me to shed tears about ones i have lost, and have not realized tht the pain and grief was still inside of me.

This is an awesome post sharing ur experiences, your life your relationship with
Futoshi

Kei - The Clown Masterkyosuke316 # Wednesday, June 22, 2011 5:56:48 AM

Originally posted by niacha:

nice to hear that you well as I am miss you too *big hugz*

yay!!it's always great to see Nia on my blog!!weeeeeeeeeeee!!

Kei - The Clown Masterkyosuke316 # Wednesday, June 22, 2011 5:58:13 AM

Originally posted by hiphopfan:

u kno wut my name is foo! (D)

actually,i don't.

kiddin!shut up!

Kei - The Clown Masterkyosuke316 # Wednesday, June 22, 2011 6:00:32 AM

Originally posted by yuuki14:

My, that makes me feel human. You've touched a nerve..

I believe reading about ur brothers passing helped me to shed tears about ones i have lost, and have not realized tht the pain and grief was still inside of me.

This is an awesome post sharing ur experiences, your life your relationship with
Futoshi

wow!i didn't know such post would have effect.
i'm glad you read it and comment.
i just like everyone to know the real Kyou,so i blog alot of personal stories of mine

Cha4@niacha # Wednesday, June 22, 2011 11:34:34 PM

its always nice to see Kyo happy and healthy

［LeiGh］yuuki14 # Thursday, June 23, 2011 2:43:50 AM

Well ur blog post is good kyo and indeed its all about urs.. Gud thing u shared ur personal life story to us

Kei - The Clown Masterkyosuke316 # Friday, June 24, 2011 1:53:24 PM

of course,happiness is my daily drug.

Kei - The Clown Masterkyosuke316 # Friday, June 24, 2011 1:55:13 PM

awwww Thank you Leigh!!*hugs* i need to get here often,so i can catch up on everyone's blogs.can't let this site sink

Moonlighthiphopfan # Friday, August 12, 2011 12:33:25 AM

Well This Page Died...

Kei - The Clown Masterkyosuke316 # Saturday, August 13, 2011 5:49:04 AM

shut up!!it's still alive,the users are just dead!lol

Moonlighthiphopfan # Saturday, August 13, 2011 10:40:05 PM

Im Alive Tho

Kei - The Clown Masterkyosuke316 # Sunday, August 14, 2011 2:31:48 AM

hurray!!

Moonlighthiphopfan # Sunday, August 14, 2011 2:27:15 PM

Cha4@niacha # Tuesday, August 16, 2011 4:02:01 AM

welcome back from grave

Moonlighthiphopfan # Tuesday, August 16, 2011 10:56:49 AM

U Do Realise If Hez Bck Frm The Grave Hez A Zombie..

Cha4@niacha # Wednesday, August 17, 2011 4:06:13 AM

maybe dracula

Moonlighthiphopfan # Wednesday, August 17, 2011 8:24:09 PM

Or A :spider:

Cha4@niacha # Sunday, August 21, 2011 8:19:06 AM

Moonlighthiphopfan # Monday, August 22, 2011 8:27:07 PM

Fail. X_X

Cha4@niacha # Sunday, August 28, 2011 12:05:11 AM

HIPISH - Lots of Comments

Moonlighthiphopfan # Thursday, September 1, 2011 7:22:51 PM

Im A Lil Late But Thnx

Cha4@niacha # Thursday, September 1, 2011 8:34:00 PM

ur welcome

HIPISH - Lots of Comments

Kei - The Clown Masterkyosuke316 # Sunday, September 4, 2011 5:03:19 PM

Hello everyone!!miss ya all much my kiddies!!

Kai san....
Life is never going to be a beautiful clear picture where our desires conquer our faults.Everything worth doing,such as living life,is never an easy task.you must stand your ground and pace your path.keep a strong heart and eager mind and you shall not falter

saritasaritasaralsingh # Sunday, October 16, 2011 8:55:38 PM

thanks 2 him and 2 u as well and I'm Paint 2

Himawariishipa # Thursday, September 20, 2012 2:22:51 PM

nice story

i often heard of this but i got time now to read your blog. its only my fav. this Futo-san taught me too by how you described him, kyo san.

learn to how you should spend your life because its mistery right, short or long life. no difference the point is keep moving and when you fall just get up and keep moving

Kei - The Clown Masterkyosuke316 # Saturday, September 22, 2012 7:26:48 AM

Thank you Himawari

Yes,his story was one i felt should be shared and i am most happy that it inspired you,even if its a little,i am very happy.

Stay strong.Live life,whether it be short or long,live it to it's fullest!!

Himawariishipa # Monday, September 24, 2012 7:49:35 AM

lives it to it's fullest?
sound like an ads words

some children says such thing on that adds clip.

by the way *thumb up for Futo san* i wish to know him better but he already in heaven so i will just tell the angel there is a girl on earth maybe inlove with him.

Kei - The Clown Masterkyosuke316 # Tuesday, September 25, 2012 4:41:11 AM

not an ad. (-_-) it's my motto.i live everyday without an ounce of surrender in my voice.

I am sure he is receiving your vibe.seems he has SOMEONE WHO FELL inlove with him through his lifestyle.

Himawariishipa # Tuesday, September 25, 2012 7:41:26 AM

yes, its seems,,this girl is depressed with her life so maybe Futo san can can help her

Himawariishipa # Wednesday, October 3, 2012 6:23:20 AM

i will meet him soon! i have no reason anymore for being here because saru chan has gone too.

Himawariishipa # Wednesday, October 3, 2012 1:07:48 PM

i am sorry Kai i was depressed when i said that

but i have promised that i will survive and fight once more

i wont let my self lost this time. Saru chan must know he doesnt pick up wrong lady.