I'm Just Being..... Me!!!

It was once said to me that "within chaos,peace shall show its warmth to the battlefield."
I live for peace,i've dedicated myself to upholding my personal agenda and sought to find peace and distribute it.
But last year,i lost my footing.i lost my vision.i lost my way.
悲劇 lingers in my heart and soul every morning i arise to the sun.
I admit,last year,i've been more confused about life than i have ever been.
Reaching for the sky,but touching it only to find that it's materalized into glass,has shattered my will.
I am not perfect,nor will i ever obtain to be that type of man.
I am most sorry with my full heart to all my friends,family,and close lives affected by my dreadful mood last year.
I wish only to show you peace and bright Kyou.Never gloomy and grey Kyou.
Please forgive my lifeless personality.

I recently returned to my social activities mid-Feburary.(internet-wise)
It's been well over 7 months without a proper explanation due to my long hiatus.
Well,it all started in in ending months of 2010,most of which altered my mood and i've lost the will to write to you.
Carrying those feelings in my heart to new year of 2011 only worsened my attitude and i began to lash out to those i love and i regret to this very day the way i have treated some people.
I am doing my best and trying with all my might to atone for such foolish and thoughtless vocal assaults.
Never bearing any good memories or feelings when elaborating on the month of March of last year,i must clarify my feelings had affected the way i have acted many periods in last year.
I indeed loss some family close family in tragedy and i am very weak when faced with death.
I freeze and become cold to everyone and i try to distance myself away from the world and the bonds it brings.
I fear to lose anyone else close to my heart and my emotions are broken and i try to lead others away,but in doing so,i only hurt myself in the end.
To carry such a double edged sword is my foolish plan,but i revise myself these days.
I am still a student of life and i shall grow stronger in each new sunrise.

August 2011,my laptop had stop working.So i took it to repair shop and it was revealed that the motherboard was completely burnt out.
I have my assumptions as to how that came to be,but no space here to run my mouth.
Anywho,the repair guy was willing to fix it and it would come to be large sum of money.
That was fine by me,because,if it meant getting back to all those i care for here,then any price is worth it.
months passed and within those fading months,he stopped calling and updating me on my computer's progress,so,i became worried.I decided to call him instead and to no surprised,he never responded.
So i went up to shop,and to my surprise,saw a sign that read they were relocating and without informing me!
I was livid!i confronted him and he had not started working on my pc.
So i told him,i don't want it back,but i do want a refund.
I was granted that and thus i had enough to purchase new laptop.
In the time i could've been back with new pc,the following later months of 2011,i had to deal with family issues that required my full attention and thus i gave myself to such issues and they were solved in new year.

And here i am!
I am back and i have that fire i once held 4 years ago since joining this wonderful place yo!
Not sure you can comprehend my english here,nor my wording.i am still student of english writing,but,i vow to write for MyOpera as long as this site allows me.
I don't care if no one ever reads my writings,but my motto here has always been,"write because you love it,not because you want recognition."
This is my true home and i am it's resident for life!!

I have truly missed you all and from here on out,I will give you guys my best!

Take care

忍京助