My OperaThe Drifter
Friday, September 13, 2013 6:30:57 AM
Hello Everyone!
How is everyone doing lately?
Yes,yes.I know that it's been a 3 month hiatus and I rarely show my head here as often as I used to.I will make no excuses nor will ask you all to be patient with me,because let's face it,all the people that once liked my writing(as they said) are either no longer here or marching to the tunes of twitter,facebook,or wherever you take up social residence.The fact is,I returned to blogging full time because I have so much to say,but no outlet to convey such feelings to without a negative reaction.So I am back (again).
5 years added and I remain the same person that entered this site and not a thing has drastically changed about Shinobu Kyosuke.Not an advancement in social status,no leap in financial status,career outlook is bleak,and personal life in tailspin into nowhere fast yo!Isn't it sad?5 years and I have not gone anywhere or changed since the first meeting of my presence to this site.If one thing I can say that is entirely different from the me 5 years ago compared to me now,that is the fact that for the first time since 14 years ago,i feel emotionally drained and stressed.
What is emotional stress?And how is it any different than regular stress?Well the differences is,regular stress is a tiring of a certain situation,person,etc,whereas an emotional stress is an absolute tiring of all things.
I know I am mentally ill and I do not deny the facts nor signs of mental illness.The thought of failure is always haunting me,but what's even more scary is the results of my life is starting to resemble those thoughts.I pride myself on three things in life,being a hard worker,a good friend,and reliable family member,yet,with all that is taking place lately,i feel less than any of those.So where is my pride now?The question is,do I even have any pride left?
That's not even the worst part!Try being called a liar,bastard,devil,the worst,or being mocked almost on a daily basis for months.It's draining to have to defend yourself against deaf ears and pointing fingers,but I realized one thing,if I let the pointers break me,then what was all those years of toughening myself for?What is the purpose of living life if I care too much what others think or say about me?
But I will be very honest,it hurts so much to be mocked,accused,and bullied in all aspects yo!But I always been bound to my motto "No one knows me,but me" and till this very day,more than ever,I am believing in those words like my life depends on it!
I am emotionally tired and reality is the worst place to be right now,but there is no escaping what lies infront of you.There are only two options really, 1.to give up or 2.keep carrying on until you find your destiny.And I am not a quitter yo!All that noise those pointers say about me and how they make me feel will not be my downfall yo!I will not let my failures stop my progression upward in life.
To them I will be the bad guy,but to myself I am just me and I will be no less.You don't like it,watch me walk away and never look back to acknowledge you again,simple as that.But I will not be the punch-line in life,i will be a success story.It may not be today or tomorrow,but someday,I will have results that will bring about my happiness in the future.Be it alone or with a group,i will carry on my own way and not give a damn what someone thinks of me anymore.
This is an entry of The Drifter
And I chose to drift down my path for as long as I live!
Until next time
Take care
Baibai
How is everyone doing lately?
Yes,yes.I know that it's been a 3 month hiatus and I rarely show my head here as often as I used to.I will make no excuses nor will ask you all to be patient with me,because let's face it,all the people that once liked my writing(as they said) are either no longer here or marching to the tunes of twitter,facebook,or wherever you take up social residence.The fact is,I returned to blogging full time because I have so much to say,but no outlet to convey such feelings to without a negative reaction.So I am back (again).
5 years added and I remain the same person that entered this site and not a thing has drastically changed about Shinobu Kyosuke.Not an advancement in social status,no leap in financial status,career outlook is bleak,and personal life in tailspin into nowhere fast yo!Isn't it sad?5 years and I have not gone anywhere or changed since the first meeting of my presence to this site.If one thing I can say that is entirely different from the me 5 years ago compared to me now,that is the fact that for the first time since 14 years ago,i feel emotionally drained and stressed.
What is emotional stress?And how is it any different than regular stress?Well the differences is,regular stress is a tiring of a certain situation,person,etc,whereas an emotional stress is an absolute tiring of all things.
I know I am mentally ill and I do not deny the facts nor signs of mental illness.The thought of failure is always haunting me,but what's even more scary is the results of my life is starting to resemble those thoughts.I pride myself on three things in life,being a hard worker,a good friend,and reliable family member,yet,with all that is taking place lately,i feel less than any of those.So where is my pride now?The question is,do I even have any pride left?
That's not even the worst part!Try being called a liar,bastard,devil,the worst,or being mocked almost on a daily basis for months.It's draining to have to defend yourself against deaf ears and pointing fingers,but I realized one thing,if I let the pointers break me,then what was all those years of toughening myself for?What is the purpose of living life if I care too much what others think or say about me?
But I will be very honest,it hurts so much to be mocked,accused,and bullied in all aspects yo!But I always been bound to my motto "No one knows me,but me" and till this very day,more than ever,I am believing in those words like my life depends on it!
I am emotionally tired and reality is the worst place to be right now,but there is no escaping what lies infront of you.There are only two options really, 1.to give up or 2.keep carrying on until you find your destiny.And I am not a quitter yo!All that noise those pointers say about me and how they make me feel will not be my downfall yo!I will not let my failures stop my progression upward in life.
To them I will be the bad guy,but to myself I am just me and I will be no less.You don't like it,watch me walk away and never look back to acknowledge you again,simple as that.But I will not be the punch-line in life,i will be a success story.It may not be today or tomorrow,but someday,I will have results that will bring about my happiness in the future.Be it alone or with a group,i will carry on my own way and not give a damn what someone thinks of me anymore.
This is an entry of The Drifter
And I chose to drift down my path for as long as I live!
Until next time
Take care
Baibai
(20%)
