I have for the last year or so been trying to think why i can't bring myself to blog here or stay more than 10 minutes. Was it a result of boredom or just simply a lack of time?It's neither The fact is....I felt so alone here for a year and when i log in,there is an emptiness i feel inside my heart. I come here and thinking my notifications would be overloaded as previous and i'll be coming on to all my crazy friends.Soon i find it's a hollow wasteland and all that remains is the hollow shells and memories of my dear friends. It's like the apocalypse is evident and no future traces are present. Wondering along this place looking for any surviving members of my old clan is just a painful failed search attempt. Due to the ever so evident truth that i am now an audience of one,i became withdrawn from this site.
Here i am today,still longing for the days i can come here during all hours of the day and be greeted to my little family and their on going crazy conversations that i could easily jump into. A harmony disrupted by none and a happiness achieved through full honest friendship. Backgrounds,sexual orientation,religion,age,gender...none of that matter. We span from all over the world.Japan,Vietnam,Ireland,Indonesia,England,United States,Hawaii,etc... Our bonds exceeded acrossed the oceans and we made the best of each day. The bullshit of a term "cyber friend"didn't cross our minds when we were with each other We talked as if we knew each other since grade school! We joked about each other,we shared our stories,gave advice to those needed,we fought,we cried,and the best part,everything was age appropriate so any one could join in and just have fun,be it reading or actually taking part. I remember my blog titled "friendship" there,was the true example of our closeness and bonds. We all exploded on that on that one post and had the opera gathering of the century!! I can still go back and look at it and laugh as if the words were freshly planted there again. I still feel their spirits and i will always forever cherish each and everyone of them. The funny thing is,i even was told to promise to never leave this site(yes,you know who you are) ,therefore i promised to never leave,but she left this place and never returned!! I do miss you my dear little sister.
Now that i am here again,knowing very well that a chapter of my life here has ended,but i won't dishonour that promise.May this blog go unread or whatever,i will write because this is my home and i grew from this place alone. I am indeed an audience of one,but i never closed my seats off for more viewers to join me in this show. If you ever want to befriend Kyo,i will treat you like a friend,not an online person,i won't disrespect your existence by calling you only digital elements.I will cherish your soul or i will hate your soul as real as anyone that intrigues me or angers me. I appreciate all my current friends and i respect you all as my real friends. My emotions are raw and i may be foolish for extending such emotions,but i don't know how to be fake. Sorry haters.
P.S,I decided to post a drawing i did of myself with a black back drop.It's a symbol of kyo being all alone.boo hoo. -_-
The month of April has not been kind nor easy one for me I have not been wise in that month of my birth For starters,I hurt a dear friend to me and i do truly regret it If you ever do read this,i am sorry. Sometimes i feel i am doing something that bears no major impact but i am foolish to see or think how others feel I admit i must become more mature and be wise with my decisions and my approach. With that said,I vow to better and humble myself in order to be a better person and a better friend.
Lately,i feel like a stickman Yes,a stickman It's not about being thin or whatever,but it's more about me feeling less like myself and lost in a void I feel i am losing my grip on the things i easily controlled in my life Now the winds shifted and i am swaying in uncertainty and i don't know which way to flow My flow is disrupted and i feel a certain disconnect from those i used to connect with I want to recapture my life and hold on to the precious people in my life There is nothing worse than losing people who have been close to you for many years Nothing should make my heart waver and nothing should shake my confidence
This is my place to vent My wake up call to my soul My stand to get back myself I was lost for most of this year and i never want that feeling again I will get better and be useful to the ones i love And i be wise in my decision making Kyosuke the stickman It's time to be whole again Let's bring smiles to those we love Let's inspire those who admire Let's keep being OURSELF Because at the end of the day, I'm no miracle worker I'm no celebrity I'm no pretty boy I'm no genius I'm just being me
Oh Wow!! It has really been a slow 2012 for my blog ne? I know what you all are thinking "Oh man!Kyo totally bailed on us!!Traitor" So not the case. Fact of the matter is,I still have a passion for this place and that will never change. It's just,when life slows down and you have really nothing going on in your life,what is there to write ne? Well,that sounds selfish,but I don't like the idea of writing sub-par entries just to be heard. But i do owe everyone atleast a gateway entry into my following ones ne With that said,this is just a brief summary of what i have been up to lately.
Work!Work!Work!!Hahahaha!Literally,I've been working and looking for work. Serious,Anyone looking to hire a skinny,music lover,upstart mangaka,and otaku? HAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHA!!Just kidding!!......or am I? o.O But yeah.You think you are doing plenty now,then BOOM!!Reality hits and you are clearly not doing much yo!-_-
Family time!!!Yes people,it's that time of year again where gifts are given,high energy bills are sent to homes for excessive lights on display,and families enjoy a very intimate season together.You know,Christmas and the overall winter atmosphere gives off a very "family friendly" vibe when you are embraced in it,but why not have that same vibe all year round ne?There has been a lot of different situations this year and last that prompt me to really see what is most important in my life.My Family.No matter how dull i become,how talentless i maybe,or how silent i reside,my family acknowledges my sharp spots,my tiny talents,and even my whisper like impacts.Family is what drives me now.I am trying to spend as much time with them as possible.
I finally got around to creating my DeviantArt account.I know i haven't posted any of my work on here and that can be accredited to two major factors...
1.For as long as i've been a member here,i haven't been able to upload not one picture to an album.
So there you have it,besides hanging with family,life is at a big slow down for me. I'll be sure to do a christmas post later.lol So until next time... Do your mother proud and keep the music loud!! Woooooooooooooooooo!!
First and foremost,let me apologize to those of you that still visit my little blog(my home). I know it's been sort of abandoned for the majority of this year,but i want to change that fact. The point of this post(hence the title),is about a new beginning,a fresh start,indeed a new chapter in my 4th year with MyOpera.
These last few months,i would visit my blog,but never sign in and i wonder why it feels so depressing to be here.Why has my enthusiasm to blog almost daily all but faded now? Well,the conclusion i have come to is a very obvious one...I lost myself as an independent blogger and for years,i became a most selfish blogger that tried to please others. I lost the magic that once made my little blog feel like a hang out spot for other members to just come and talk freely to me,rather it be about the subject of my post or just to mingle with other members.I truly felt like this place was special aspect of my life because i was able to share my life with everyone here,and yeah,there are those that will call me a "fool" for being so open about my personal life with "strangers" from the internet,but that is not how i viewed anyone who took a liking to my page.Everyone that i talked with and bonded with here,are indeed my friends. There are those "once in awhile" friends that stop by and i had my "longtime close" friends here.So to say we never met in real life,is a bunch of cow pies yo! We've met in real,because what i wrote here in the past was the real Shinobu Kyosuke and therefore you know me....ALL of me!! So expect nothing less in the future from me. So,do i feel like a fool for being real and honest?NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!! Remember my words of foolishness...."I rather be a fool for what i truly am,than to be a genius for the lies i can not provide." Sure,there are the megastars in Facebook and Twitter....and sure i have accounts with those services,i just can't recreate the moods or feelings i once had with MyOpera.There is no place i rather be,but right here...on MYOPERA!!
Soooooooooooo,with all that mess said.....I here by announce that i am back here full time. And it feels most good to be back here. I may not get as much visitors to this little page of mine as previous,but that was never my intentions to be popular or noticed,I write because i can not shut my brain off and who knows,maybe i'll do a voice blog one day.You'll hear me rant about nonsense,but in my crazy bad voice dipped in the english language but not fully understandable! So...prepare for post about...Basketball(i love the Boston Celtics),Manga(yes,i am an otaku),Music,and whatever i feel interest me and if it's not to your liking,there are plenty blogs here that will wet your tongues.But if my interest is something you like or kinda enjoy....then give me a SHOUT!!!!
Thank you for reading and still caring.... love you all. See you next time!! BAI BAI!!
I know,it is a very odd title for a blog,but then again,everything i write is never sane. So allow me this time to rant some more about certain things that intrigue my mind.
The importance of unimportance is a very simple concept to me and i will explain that a little later in the post. What i am targeting here is the very phrases such as "I need you","You complete me",or the classic "I can't live without you." It's all very interesting because it gives off the impression that humans need another person to feel complete,whole,or "Important."I am not here to bash anyone's way of life,i just give my personal take on certain matters.This matter is most fun to me,because those phrases are usually spoken to a lover as in "girlfriend/boyfriend or Wife/Husband",and i am just dumbfounded whenever i hear one of my friends say that to their recipient.The way i see it,you are born without said lover and you grow older without meeting that person until a bit later in life,but in those times of not existing to the target of your affection,does your mind ponder if you feel incomplete,lifeless,or useless without the unknown soul?The very answer to that should be "NO!!!" Maybe i come off as a heartless bastard,but this is reality.No two souls are bound to each other at birth,unless the parents of both parties agree to marry off their unborn male and female children to the other.But that's not usually the case and that being said....Why does such over dramatic phrases exist?Why would anyone allow their mouths to speak such?It's all minding numbing!
Now,the importance of unimportance is what i explain to my friends. It basically means,sometimes it's better to feel unimportant if your importance stems from someone else. I mean,can you not feel important on your own without depending so heavily on someone else who is not even guarantee to walk life with you forever?I respect people who commit to someone fully,but in order to be fully committed,you must also understand,respect,and commit to yourself first to have a self value that you can not get from others. People come and go and that applies to some lovers,but some are so blindly inlove that they rule out themselves in order to please their other half and once he/she leaves,when the person you solely depended on for an importance takes their leave,then whom is left with you at the end of the day?You and yourself,and what happens?you're left picking up the pieces and your life seems to be in a tailspin ne.It's about self importance before heavily drawing importance from another. We meet everyone who crosses our path for a reason.It's a learning experience,but you can't give your all to someone if you have no clue what your all is,right....
With that said.I have foolishly thought to be important once due to someone person telling me i was her importance and what happened?I was shunned,set to rot away as she took her leave and all my happiness and importance she gave me.I was broken,but i had to learn my own self value.I walked into that ordeal half myself and was tossed out nothing.But in my time of healing,i learned what i meant to myself and if i were to give my all to another,i must be fully able to comprehend what my all exactly was. Know your original before you are assigned a value. Be you and all that you can be,even if the world disagrees,you can only please the masses for so long,but self happiness is eternal ride ne.