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I'm Just Being..... Me!!!

A Few of my stories,ideas,music,etc

Posts tagged with "life"

The Lonely Leaf.

Sunday, 6. December 2009, 03:25:30

,

Here we are once again!
Yet another post.

The Okii question surrounding me now is
"Why is Kyousuke leaving from the net?"

Ja,
there is no simple explanation as to why i must leave.
It's a personal decision i chose in order to better myself.

Truth be told,
while i was bathing yesterday,
i thought to myself.
"why am i leaving?"
i fell asleep while bathing. :o:
Soon as i awoke from my sleep,
memories of the past really haunted me.
As you can see by now,
i used the word "haunted".

It's the best type of word to describe these memories.
These past years hasn't been pleasant for me!
I mean....
Lost my Otousan,
Had a near-death experience,
Considered suicide on countless occasions,and
not to mention,me trying to cut all ties to my family!

I have become a man with lots of regrets,pains of the past,and self-pity.
and,
that has turned my life upside down!

So,
I've decided and i talked with my family and gf
and,
they all agreed that it is best for me to take a break from everything.
I need to get these regrets out of my heart and i need to take my rightful place again as Shinobu Kyousuke.
Right now,that name is tarnished with the regrets and sorrows of the years.
i'm starting anew and i will become a better person in life.

You know,
I have grown accustom to this feeling of regret,pain,sorrow,and loneliness
and yet,
I don't want is this feeling anymore.
The time for crying has long passed
so,
now is the time for action!

Don't think of me in a different way
and,
don't worry about me.
i'll be genki yo!

So,
it's decided!
Mid-January,
i'll be setting off on a soul changing journey to become Shinobu Kyousuke once more.
Just like old times. :wink:

Well,
This is my reason for leaving.
I hope you all understand now.

Til next post,
Ja mata

P.S. I'll be also working really hard with work and my own project
during my time of absence.

Kyo




79 comments

Kyo Randomness 3!

Friday, 20. November 2009, 07:01:56

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Here we go again.
*Boku no kyouki wa mata hajimeru yo!!! :headbang:
if you can't read what i said,then you better learn Japanese yo! :lol: :lol:
(choked on a piece string)
i'm okay.^-^

Shall we begin?
let me say it once more in Japanese...
*Hajimemashou ka?(i'm so effin awesome!dream on kyo)

1.As you all might have thought that poor little kyo would be in a horrible depression after breaking up with Yui.....well,think again!well,i am a little depressed,but guess what?
Read number--->2<-----to find out.

2.*GAARUFURENDO GA ARIMASU YO!!!(I HAVE A GIRLFRIEND!!!)
Her name is Nishikawa Ayame *note the japanese always give their family name before their given name when introducing themselves* Ya'll just got school!!!
anyways,it's been almost a month that we have been seeing each other,well,*hantai ni,i met her before at Akira's cousin's wedding last year,but i was dating Yui then,so blah!
Anyways,she's so different from Yui.she's kinda freaky!ahahahahaha! :lol: (just kidding....or am i?)

3.So me and my *Ani* Toshikun was walking down in Shibuya the other day,when this group of girls stopped and commented on his weird ass hair.they was like "*okami daisuki desu yo!" and he was all like "*A,sou desu ka.domo arigatou gozaimasu"
then they asked "who is this guy with you?"before i could get the words out my mouth to say "i'm his younger brother"Toshi took it upon himself to say(you won't believe this) "this is Shinobu Kyousuke.he's my partnar"they was like "oh,i see,you two are so kawaii together"
i was so pissed and still am,i might add!then he kissed me on my cheek!GAH!
i was like "DUDE!WTF?!you made it seem as i were gay!"Toshi is a wiz at pissing me off.besides,his gf kicked his ass for me!(serves ya right Toshi!)

4.I've been watching a lot of American tv shows,well actually,just family guy and robot chicken.
it has come to my attention that both of those shows have one thing in common.
Lots and lots of fart jokes and farting! :lol:
i guess Americans find farts to be very funny,while i find it to be *pukes in a bag and points to it*
that about sums that up.lol
but those shows are so damn hilarious!

5.Oh!recently,i went shopping in Harajuku(My district) for clothes and sth.
i bought a bunch of stuff i really don't need,but had to have caused it looked cool and fasciating.^-^
i bought a bunch of visual kei clothes,8 bottles of hair dye,4 colours of eye contacts,some bandanas to cover my face,shoes,5 bottles of black nail polish,and a bunch of other stuff.
the amount i spent in that one shopping session was about $15,000 or more.hahahaha

6.I can't wait til Christmas comes.hohoho

7.Ayame just sent me a txt just now,but i can't tell you what it says. p:
this is grown folks business.seriously!it's not PG13! :o:
that's my naughty nurse Ayachan for ya.*oh nurse.i dropped something,do you mind picking it up for me?*jk

8.To end this monster,know as "the kyo randomness blog"
i leave you all with these closing remarks...
next year,April 4,2010
I Shinobu Kyousuke will retire from all my social website accounts. :frown:
that is all.
GO JAPAN!

Japanese Recap:
*Boku no kyouki wa mata hajimeru yo=My craziness starts again!!
*Hajimemashou ka=Shall we begin?
*GAARUFURENDO GA ARIMASU YO=I have a girlfriend!
*hantai ni=On the contrary
*Ani=Older brother
*okami daisuki desu yo=I like your hair alot!
*A,sou desu ka.domo arigatou gozaimasu=Oh,i see.Thank you so much.

Thanks for reading

Artist:Tokio Hotel/Song:Automatic

296 comments

2 Hearts,2 Minds,2 Souls,but now....1 set of Footprints in the sand.

Thursday, 5. November 2009, 10:19:55

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Hmmm......
this is kinda tough to talk about,but...
you all must know.

I never even once,thought i would be blogging about this.
Everything was fine,until now! :frown:

anyway...

Last week,Yui and I officially broke up. :frown:
it was one of the worst things that could have happen in my life.
........
um,i'll tell you the reason for our split.

It all started last month,
we would argue,not sleep together,and we rarely saw one another. :frown:
mainly due to my hellish work hours.
she was very patient with me and she understood why we almost never spend a lot of time together but,
i guess she finally got tired of spending nights alone and me disappointing her.
I can't blame her.

so,
we finally had some time to ourselves,
so we decided to discuss our future plans with each other.
Little did i know,Yui plans had been totally different from mine.
She wanted me(after we get married and have children)to quit being a mangaka(comic artist)

i was shocked,but i also understood her reason as to why she wants me to quit.
She feared that,me becoming a published mangaka would mean,less time to spend with her.
that's true,but being a mangaka is my life's passion!
she can't possibly expect me to stop.
besides,the only reason i work so hard now,is so that,when if we did settle down,we would financially secured.

anyways...
i told her that i didn't want to hold her back,so we took a break from the other,to focus on ourselves(individually)
so while we were on break,i starting feeling really bad,cause i was holding Yui back from having fun and just enjoying herself.
So last Thursday,i invited Yui over for a very important talk.

I told her how i was feeling and despite her constant disagreeing with me,
just by looking at her face,there was a smile,but her eyes carried a burden of sadness.
i was to blame for that sadness and i vow to myself years ago that,no matter how i feel,no matter what,i shall not cause my lover any form pain nor sadness.otherwise i'm not worthy of that person.

Yui Akemi was everything to me and seeing the sadness in her beautiful eyes made me feel like crap! :frown:
I grabbed her hands and told her that,i could no longer be the reason for her suffering,i could no longer bear having her wait for me all the time.i didn't want her to waste her youth on me,cause you're only young once.i told her that,there is a man out there that will bring her happiness,joy,and give her all his time.i wasn't strong enough to be that man.i'm just a weak,pathetic,insufficient human,unable of granting such simple thing.I'm not worthy of her anymore.
so i broke up with her.

She cried,which broke my heart,but it was for the best.

Now...
here i stand,alone,depressed,and sick.
Love does exist and their are those that are worthy of such a thing,but not me.
I never wanted to be that leash on anybody that stops them from living.
I never wanted to be a burden anymore.
I never wanted to be weak like the past kyo.
i'm becoming everything i hate,which is leading me to believe that i am truly unworthy of life.

I can't even keep a promise to myself!!!CHIKUSHOU!!
Slipping into darkness wasn't something i was wanting to go back to,but now,i'm getting closer and closer.
I'm losing everything.

Thanks for reading.

Odaiji Ni Minasan.

Artist:Ellegarden /Song:Stereoman

645 comments

Friendship.

Wednesday, 14. October 2009, 04:31:16

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Friendship.
it's a great thing to have in your life.
Having so many people to love,care,joke with,share,and most of all...to call your friends!^-^

This post is to all my friends here...

I am truly sorry to all of my friends here.
I have about 9 pages of friends and yet,i know there are some i never have heard from,nor have i contacted.
It's not like i have just added you guys and went "oh!i'm not talking to this person!"
It's not like that at all.
My life is a very busy one.
There is truly not enough time in my days,mainly due to work,family,and everything in between.
I only get about 4 hours of sleep at night or i don't sleep at all.

Anyway,

I want you all,my friends to know that i haven't abandoned you!
Please,send me a message and i promise to respond whenever i have time to.=)

PLEASE FORGIVE ME,MY FRIENDS.

Ja

Artist:ColdPlay /Song:Rainy Day

1,249 comments

My Butterfly Friend.

Thursday, 8. October 2009, 04:54:57

, ,

This isn't really a post
just a little theory^^

For about 5 days now
there has been this kawaii orange and black butterfly flying outside of my home.^-^
everyday for 5 days...
whenever i'm outside
the butterfly is there resting in the tree.

Akira and Yui both have seen this butterfly outside of my home.
i told them that...
that butterfly could be a soul coming back to visit family.
they both laughed a little and said "it sounds strange,but it could be true."

Seeing that butterfly flutter gracefully in the cool Tokyo air
made me think about my fathers theories of the butterfly.

there are 2 types of butterflies.the first type are "Ijuu Choucho"(migration butterflies).
the Ijuu Choucho travels from different places in the world just viewing this beautiful sekai(world) from the skies above.Free spirits if you will.
the second type is called the "Houmonsha Choucho"(Visitor Butterflies)
this type of butterfly are not just insects,rather they are tamashii(souls)being granted the time to visit earth to see there loved ones.they can't return in there human bodies,but they become beautiful butterflies and they watch over members of their family by flying outside of their homes.^_-

My Otousan told me this when i was 5.^^
I remember that day,it was spring time and i was sitting in the park with my dad
watching the Sakura blow in the wind,when suddenly this butterfly
landed on my hand.
it was a beautiful white and green choucho.
that was my aunt's "Nami Michiko" favorite colors.^^(she passes away when i was 3)
that's when my Otousan told me that story.

I told Yui and Akira this story and i believe they somehow agree with this theroy.

One of my Father's favorite colors were orange...
so i name the butterfly outside of my home
"Hirashi"(my Otousan's name^^)
I believe that the butterfly outside of my home is my Father's spirit visiting to see how much i have grow and to give me a little peace at mind.(which it has)

Otousan ai desu^^

i just felt like doing a small post about....

My friend "Hirashi" the Butterfly

Thanks for reading.^-^(v)

ja ne




67 comments

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