My OperaDon't Let Premature Ejaculation Ruin Your Relationship
Monday, August 8, 2011 6:42:30 PM
SEXUAL ANXIETY
With all the sexual stereotypes and media generated expectations, and with all the meanings that get attached to sexual performance (e.g., personal value, barometer of love), it is a wonder that anyone is able to perform. In fact, as has been noted, "Sex is perfectly natural... it just isn't naturally perfect!" If we strive for perfection we will be disappointed with ourselves or our partners (or both). We will worry about our equipment and our ability to use it. The unfortunate paradox is that the more we worry about being perfect, the less likely we are to get there! And it's not just anxiety about sexual performance, general stress or other worries can also impact sexual performance.
Among clinicians it is generally accept that men with rapid ejaculation tend to be a bit more anxious in general or at least more worried about sexual abilities than are men who demonstrate better control.
Unfortunately if a man with generalized anxiety is quick and begins worrying about his quickness, he might come even faster and a cycle develops. The quicker he is, the more he worries, and the more he worries the quicker he becomes. Ejaculatory control begins to fade.
If, as ejaculatory control slips away, one partner or the other becomes reluctance to initiate, fearing another unintentional quickie, they may begin actively avoiding each other. When their encounters stretch out, there is both anxiety and excitement... that potent and destructive combination that creates havoc in the bedroom.
Years ago I had seen a young college student in my office who had come in with the complaint of rapid ejaculation. I ask what is usually among my first questions... "How quickly are you ejaculating?" I thought he had misinterpreted my question when he began telling me about taking a college exam. "On the day of a test, I wake up feeling anxious. When I am sitting in the classroom waiting, I can feel my anxiety build. As the professor begins telling the class about the exam, my hands begin to perspire and I become nervous as hell. As he passes out the exam papers, placing them face down on each of our desks, it feels as though my heart is about to break out of my chest. Then as he stands again at the front of the class and says 'OK, you can now turn your papers over and begin/ I turn my exam paper over and COME!" Now that's got to be the fastest gun in the West!
I think the triggering of this student's ejaculatory reflex by skyrocketing test anxiety dramatizes the point that anxiety is a contributing factor. Since anxiety is a sort of mobilizing energy in response to some internal or external sense of danger, it might be that nature has built us to get off quicker when the danger is the greatest. As anxiety mounts Mother Nature might just be leaning close to whisper in our ear, " Get the job done now so you can protect your butt!" Remember, anxiety may sound the alarm and heighten our readiness to react, but, as we will see, panic has a much more destructive potential.
FDA recently approved to cure premature ejaculation.
With all the sexual stereotypes and media generated expectations, and with all the meanings that get attached to sexual performance (e.g., personal value, barometer of love), it is a wonder that anyone is able to perform. In fact, as has been noted, "Sex is perfectly natural... it just isn't naturally perfect!" If we strive for perfection we will be disappointed with ourselves or our partners (or both). We will worry about our equipment and our ability to use it. The unfortunate paradox is that the more we worry about being perfect, the less likely we are to get there! And it's not just anxiety about sexual performance, general stress or other worries can also impact sexual performance.Among clinicians it is generally accept that men with rapid ejaculation tend to be a bit more anxious in general or at least more worried about sexual abilities than are men who demonstrate better control.
Unfortunately if a man with generalized anxiety is quick and begins worrying about his quickness, he might come even faster and a cycle develops. The quicker he is, the more he worries, and the more he worries the quicker he becomes. Ejaculatory control begins to fade.
If, as ejaculatory control slips away, one partner or the other becomes reluctance to initiate, fearing another unintentional quickie, they may begin actively avoiding each other. When their encounters stretch out, there is both anxiety and excitement... that potent and destructive combination that creates havoc in the bedroom.
Years ago I had seen a young college student in my office who had come in with the complaint of rapid ejaculation. I ask what is usually among my first questions... "How quickly are you ejaculating?" I thought he had misinterpreted my question when he began telling me about taking a college exam. "On the day of a test, I wake up feeling anxious. When I am sitting in the classroom waiting, I can feel my anxiety build. As the professor begins telling the class about the exam, my hands begin to perspire and I become nervous as hell. As he passes out the exam papers, placing them face down on each of our desks, it feels as though my heart is about to break out of my chest. Then as he stands again at the front of the class and says 'OK, you can now turn your papers over and begin/ I turn my exam paper over and COME!" Now that's got to be the fastest gun in the West!
I think the triggering of this student's ejaculatory reflex by skyrocketing test anxiety dramatizes the point that anxiety is a contributing factor. Since anxiety is a sort of mobilizing energy in response to some internal or external sense of danger, it might be that nature has built us to get off quicker when the danger is the greatest. As anxiety mounts Mother Nature might just be leaning close to whisper in our ear, " Get the job done now so you can protect your butt!" Remember, anxiety may sound the alarm and heighten our readiness to react, but, as we will see, panic has a much more destructive potential.
FDA recently approved to cure premature ejaculation.
