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A long long time ago in a galaxy far far away there lived two enemy teams of each other each fighting for on thing hope and life. Our story starts with Jon von Tetzchner-walker of the good side and Over crowded starbucks-vader of the dark side. “Beep boop boop”. “9.62-bot what is it”. Jon von Tetzchner-walker asked. 9.62 bot beamed his ray of light video processer up. “Jon von Tetzchner-walker” spoke over crowded starbucks-vader “I have taken many of your customers precious internet speed with my slow connection and over crowded speeds just try to stop the dark side now Jon von Tetzchner-walker. Jon von Tetzchner-walker knew what he had to do but it would take extensive training from a man known as Yoda. Jon von Tetzchner-walker flew his opera ship to the planet where he knew he would find this Yoda. It wasn’t hard to find this guy after all he in fact greeted Jon von Tetzchner-walker and began teaching him how to defeat the dark side. “Its actually very simple” Yoda said “But only a true force can master the power of the turbo force”. “The turbo force”? “yes yesothers have tried to master the turbo why even last week internet-explors-a lot epicly failed and sent him spiraling into a percentage slump in the browser rankings, but you Jon von Tetzchner-walker you are the man we need to master the turbo force”. Yoda trained with Jon von Tetzchner-walker day in and day out until one day the results began. Jon von Tetzchner-walker shot right at a nearby airport cable and everyone in the airport started to cheer, it was then he knew it was time to face the dark side but he had only partially mastered it yoda still gave him a license of beta thought. Waving good bye to yoda Jon von Tetzchner-walker took off for the planet of starbucksican.“So we meet again over crowded starbucks-vader” “ This is your last chance Jon von Tetzchner-walker before I start inflicting extreme slow connections at high costs.” Spoke over crowded starbucks-vader. “Never” A beam of light shot out of Jon von Tetzchner-walker hand and hit over crowded starbucks-vader dead on. Everyone Inside the restaurant then gathered and sang in joy. Also Every hot women in the starbucks started making out with Jon von Tetzchner-walker. And they all lived fastily ever after.