My OperaNew Year .. Old Things
Friday, December 31, 2010 1:56:13 PM
Just today that I realized how .. boring I am and that upsets me a lot. I've been up and down all the time and sometimes I just don't even understand myself. Sometimes I'm fun to be with but sometimes, even my voice would make the other bored to death. My family told me that I need to be more open. I do agree, but how? I don't know, I just read Positively Present's blog about this topic (He/she is also not very open but I don't know if he/she is now), the entry said that it would need time, effort, listening and talking to be a more open person. I do listen very well, I talked well too (only when I feel necessary to do so). But lately I realized that I've been turning down of too many invitations of all these hang-outs, parties, movies, too many that it even bothers me and I'm sick of myself for making excuses to be with my old, present, new friends. Sometimes I feel like they'll get bored of me and think that the only response I know is "I can't. I want to be there but I have .. bla bla bla to do .. to go with ..", oh what so ever. I need to change myself in order to change my life. I'm only 18 (it's new year now), there's still enough time. But I do think it'll take a lot lot time to change, to stop focusing on inner thoughts and start to believe the world a little bit.
Today is 31/12/2010, ending a year with no joys at all. First I don't know where my cat has ran off and I miss him too much it hurts so bad. Second, my family keeps telling me I need to be more open that it stresses me out. Third, my brother is now throwing a party upstair (while I'm typing on this PC) and keeps asking me to join but I really am NOT INTERESTED IN IT AT ALL. Fourth, I went to the supermarket earlier and dropped my money somewhere. Fifth, I still couldn't sell my Harry Potter book series in order to buy other books. I really am so sad now and bored. Gosh, I need to talk more and smile more. Obviously not hard at all (as I always tell my sister to do so) but now I really know that it can be really a problem. Never think smiling, laughing could be my problem. Friends starting to say I'm so hard to get,too secretive. It was a compliment before for me, but now not anymore.
Tomorrow is new year. I hope I can change my life. Wish it could be easy but if it's not, I'll try as hard as I can. Hoping YOU (whoever reading my blog now) a Happy New Year. Really I don't just say it, I really do MEAN it 'cause I hope next year would be great for me and when I look around I wouldn't see all these boring years of the others and feel bored too.
Today is 31/12/2010, ending a year with no joys at all. First I don't know where my cat has ran off and I miss him too much it hurts so bad. Second, my family keeps telling me I need to be more open that it stresses me out. Third, my brother is now throwing a party upstair (while I'm typing on this PC) and keeps asking me to join but I really am NOT INTERESTED IN IT AT ALL. Fourth, I went to the supermarket earlier and dropped my money somewhere. Fifth, I still couldn't sell my Harry Potter book series in order to buy other books. I really am so sad now and bored. Gosh, I need to talk more and smile more. Obviously not hard at all (as I always tell my sister to do so) but now I really know that it can be really a problem. Never think smiling, laughing could be my problem. Friends starting to say I'm so hard to get,too secretive. It was a compliment before for me, but now not anymore.
Tomorrow is new year. I hope I can change my life. Wish it could be easy but if it's not, I'll try as hard as I can. Hoping YOU (whoever reading my blog now) a Happy New Year. Really I don't just say it, I really do MEAN it 'cause I hope next year would be great for me and when I look around I wouldn't see all these boring years of the others and feel bored too.
