linellee

I don’t know what kind of situation I’m putting myself into, sacrificing so much for something that eventually becoming my past, choosing loneliness over friendship that probably won’t last long and hiding inside my room and avoiding everyone. What is wrong with me seriously? I choose to watch Gossip Girl and eat instant noodle alone in my room rather than hanging out with my friends sharing pizzas and laughter and stories. Catching up with them is probably the last thing I want to do, right now. I think I need some time to think whether I want to continue our friendship that I think won’t last long anyway. I used to belong to this group of friends that I like so much and I really do appreciate our friendship. But for the past year, we’ve been through too much ups and downs, we quarrel over official and personal things, we were being harsh to one another, we hurt each other’s feelings.
I cried over some stupid things and told myself not to sacrifice too much for anything or anyone but I can’t. Maybe it was my problem. I should have known that we are from different world, and no matter how hard we tried, it just doesn’t work out. I just want to run away from all these relationship problems and not thinking about it until I come back for next semester. Maybe things will be better by then, I hope. But now I just want to go home.

I’m going to take a gap year when I’m still young, in two years, age 22. I’m ready to go before anything or anyone stops me, to eat, pray and perhaps love.